UnStraightening Lesbian: Removing the Heterosexual Lens: Adrienne Rich

Next up in our unSTRAIGHTening Lesbian series is poet/theorist/Radical Feminist Adrienne Rich.

Adrienne Rich, or ACR as Sylvia Plath referred to her, made her way to “lesbian” (STRAIGHTBIANISM!) via the same route most Radical Feminists did/do; unexpressed voluminous anger for her own poor life choices she readily blamed the men in her life for (father/husband) and collective man (patriarchy). Rich said of her marriage:

I married in part because I knew no better way to disconnect from my first family,” she says. “I wanted what I saw as a full woman’s life, whatever was possible.

Rich marries hoping to escape familial confines/duties only to find herself unhappily in the same trapped place, only worse, with children.

I wanted, then, more than anything, the one thing of which there was never enough: time to think, time to write.”

Rich’s dishonestly in the marriage lead to both her and her husband having affairs:

Shortly thereafter, her husband Alfred Conrad committed suicide:
Apparently she was such a hotty ALL the men in NY wanted a piece of her pie! Umm ~ sure, okay!

After cheating on her husband with both men and women, once her hubby was out of the way/dead, Rich embarked through Radical Feminism, on a mission to remove Lesbian from those gross, vile,  dykey/mannish/wannabe men/act like men/think like men Lezzies SHE incorrectly perceived actual Lesbians to be/look like, and to give Lesbian an air of upper middle class academic redressing, making Lesbian more appealing/palatable and acceptable to greater Feminist groups/women.

Like Radical Feminists in Rich’s day and RadFems now, Rich desperately needed the IDEA of Lesbian to both vent her anger and (mistakenly) use as a means to remove herself from (in her mind) Heterosexuality/Heterocentric confines rendering her helpless/afraid/weak and ineffectual. As a Heterosexual woman, Rich could only access Lesbian through lying:


We will show shortly in Rich’s piece de resistance that Rich (unlike some STRAIGHTBIANS), selfishly planned and executed her lies.

It is precisely codswallop like this that fully seals ANY question (were you to have any) of Rich’s obvious Heterosexuality. Radical Feminists like Rich tell themselves collective man enforces Heterosexual female grooming/dress etc (when actually it is Heterosexual females who both desire/enforce beauty standards) yet cannot explain why Lesbians en masse do not fall prey to the same heterocentric grooming standards.


Lesbians have always existed and have never required validation for our existence. Women, particularly damaged Radical Feminists like Rich spend their lives/careers seeking some sort of warped validation and blame men for not GIVING it to them!



Rich often talks out of both sides of her mouth; on one side she claims her “erotic” feelings for women have been stifled via Patriarchy and on the other side she claims sexual feelings between women are not necessary for qualifying them as Lesbian! Rich ignores, or doesn’t bother to notice, that most Lesbians do not have the luxury of a closet, most Dykes are visibly Lesbian. Lesbian visibility shines for some Lesbians physically and mentally and other Lesbians less physically and more mentally. Either way, Dyke thought processes alone peg us for Lesbian, as any Lesbian can attest to since the advent of the internet. Even online with a genderless name and no image of ourselves, we are often assumed/believed by Hets (usually Het women) to be men!

In Diversity and Variability in Women’s Sexual Identities STRAIGHTBIAN Carla Rappaport Golden said of Rich’s lesbian



Lesbian was problematic for Rich precisely because of the ugly depraved dykey sexually perverted masculinist ideas held by Hetero society/Heterosexuals like Adrienne Rich herself. But Adrienne Rich desperately needed Lesbian because it encompassed (to her) anti maleness, what she didn’t need was the alienating baggage attached to Lesbian. So Rich tried to simultaneously redefine Lesbian for Heterosexual Feminist inclusion while distancing the debauchery attached to Lesbian, thus Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence was born.

Adrienne Rich begins Compulsory Heterosexuality with a Straightbianesque quote from Doris Lessing‘s The Golden Notebook:


This quote not only sets the stage for the rest of Rich’s essay, it IS the stage Rich starred for the rest of her life! A Heterosexual privileged life whereby Rich and Radical Feminists like her, chanted to themselves and in Radical Feminist groups like an incantation; I’m a lesbian! And don’t think for a minute Lesbians missed the degrading walls Doris Lessing sandwiched Lesbian in this passage! This was Rich’s fear, without a man, her only choices were bitternessspinsterhood or Lesbian. Rich CHOSE lesbian, not actual Lesbianism, but a Hetsplained version she could somewhat live with. Like Lessing’s Anna, Rich was too weak to forge a relationship with a man where SHE was willing to or capable of, living her new found consciousness.

Moving on:

Rich believed that Lesbian scholarship was forced into hiding by a patriarchal driven Compulsory Heterosexuality that even mid range Feminism enforced. Rich failed to understand that Lesbian erudition wasn’t (isn’t) quashed or silenced by patriarchy, it wasn’t (isn’t) understood by Heterosexuals, particularly Het women! Rich feared losing academic clout by choosing Lesbian and through RadFem-speak tried to make HER brand of lesbian acceptable to greater Feminism.


Rich assumes Homophobia alone inhabited Feminists (Het women) from trying to coral Het women toward a political lesbianism via feminist theory and why lesbian art/literature etc remained rare. Rich failed to see how her own warped man-hating RadFem agenda was responsible for biological Lesbian invisibility in the arts and elsewhere than was/is Homophobia, because she blinded herself of our existence.

Further in the essay Rich says:


Rich brings up Lesbians being closeted in the workplace but the exact experiences she uses to make her points are the experiences Heterosexual women (like her), claiming to be Lesbians (like her) had with the luxury of being closeted! Most Dykes NEVER have that luxury and most Dykes even if they did would NOT put some fucking job over their entire lives! The only Homophobe here is Adrienne Rich!



Because Rich herself (a Heterosexual woman) didn’t feel or experience blatant Homophobia (why would she?), she ignorantly theorized compulsory heterosexuality was to blame for Feminist silence about Lesbians/Lesbian issues, including the reason Feminists wouldn’t platform Lesbianism as a possible choice against patriarchy/men! Rich claims non Radical Feminists were in collusion WITH patriarchy! Non-Radical Feminists, according to Rich, helped provide patriarchy with pussy, pay, and passion!



Rich found the term Lesbian limiting because Lesbian didn’t include STRAIGHT women like her and because Rich didn’t like the psycho-logical definitions defining Lesbian or the societal connotations coloring Lesbian by Het society. By expanding Lesbian to include all female relationship types, not simply “genital” as Rich crudely puts it, Lesbian wouldn’t be so foul an idea, for women or society. Rich fails to acknowledge the LIMITS, limits based on HER HETEROSEXUALLY driven assumptions about biological Lesbians, that real Lesbianism isn’t defined by pussy licking or KFC pussy (AKA finger licking good). Lesbian was crude, vulgar, plebeian — NOT because it actually was/is — BUT because it was based on Adrienne Rich’s own sick, fucked up, homophobic, warped fucking views of Lesbian!


Being a Lesbian has fuck all to do with taboos or rejecting Heterosexuality, it has ONLY to do with being born physiologically Lesbian! Lesbians aren’t saying no to patriarchy, patriarchy doesn’t factor (collectively) anywhere into a Lesbian’s life. Lesbian past, present and future grew/grow/will grow up without any/little knowledge of Lesbians; fortunately abilities innate to our survival ensure we find each other and are capable of survival even if we don’t. The ONLY destroyers of Lesbian records or histories are Radical Feminists like Adrienne Rich! What has been recorded  as “lesbian” experiences/narratives etc, are instead the experiences/narratives etc of STRAIGHTBIANS like ACR!

Adrienne Rich, in typical Heterosexual fashion, was a little SHIT TON obsessed with genitals/sex.


In other words, Adrienne Rich and Radical Feminism itself are NOT LESBIAN! Bizarrely in this strange (sick) passage Rich twice brings up/equates a child/mother being turned on during infant feeding. I refuse to think past Rich’s statement here, because to do so is just toooooo fucking SICK — and it most certainly is NOT Lesbian!
Adrienne Rich said of women’s diminutiveness art/history in When We Dead Awaken:

Precisely because of STRAIGHTBIANS like Adrienne Rich, Lesbians/Lesbian youth flounder and flail trying to find ourselves in the world. Thanks to the likes of Rich and her warped RadFem ilk, most of the signs and symbols labeled Lesbian are false. They point us right back to female Heterosexual mindset and body that paints us into a corner of dysphoria, reinforcing Lesbian confusion and resulting in a so-called lesbian community made up of Heterosexual women…where Lesbians STILL do not exist.

Adrienne Rich discovered Lesbian in the same way Christopher Columbus discovered America: she ignored those already living here, and those she couldn’t ignore she kindly smothered in blankets of smallpox.

dirt and Mrs Dirt

UnStraightening Lesbian: Removing The Heterosexual Lens: Rita Mae Brown

NOTE: This is the latest in the UnStraightening Lesbian series, originally posted on Dirt’s blog, at this link.

We begin our next set of unSTRAIGHTening Lesbians with the Sneaky Pie Lavender Menace to Lesbians herself Rita Mae Brown. If not familiar with Rita Mae, she was an early element in the Radical Feminist movement after she was more or less removed from Betty Friedan‘s National Organization of Women (NOW). The purported reason Rita Mae was ousted was because she claimed at the time to be a Lesbian. Through this ousting Rita Mae and other Lesbians STRAIGHTBIANS formed the RadFem group Lavender Menace.

But it wasn’t Rita Mae’s libber angst that cloaked her in Lesbianism, it was her first novel Rubyfruit Jungle:

For making the primary point of these posts, (unSTRAIGHTening Lesbian) one really doesn’t have to look beyond Rubyfruit Jungle. The novel rapidly begins with prime character Molly STRAIGHT away focusing on DICK…no, not as in another character…but rather as in a boy the young Molly exploits for profit using his uncircumcised penis in a show and tell: (Ah penis, something every young Dyke wants to see—nope, think again honey!):

From there the novel speeds to Molly having sex with a straight female friend AND then later her straight male cousin Leroy:

A sexual relationship young Molly repeats throughout her cohabitation with cousin Leroy/his family:

Molly struggles to outgrow her illegitimate hick background which both deeply troubles/embarrasses her by heading as soon as she can to the big city; New York. Once there we encounter Molly’s first time at a gay bar with a gay male friend:

It is clear from this moment that it isn’t just the character of Molly who knows nothing about Butch or Femme Lesbians, it is Rita Mae herself who is ignorant for even posing this question at all.

Rita Mae uses her novel to slam other STRAIGHTBIANS dominating the “lesbian” bar scene: damaged Het women who could only see relationships through their own Heterosexual nature: male or female. Mo was no more a Butch than Molly; everything to them, INCLUDING Lesbian, depended solely on what they claimed to be, not what they actually were.

Rita Mae’s snobbish STRAIGHTBIAN Molly places her own warped version of Lesbian (two attractive society approved straight women having sexual relations) above that of fat ugly STRAIGHTBIANS who portray/participate in Heterosexual mimicry.

Moving on:

Rita Mae’s Molly is so disgusted by the purported lesbians she encounters at the bar she jokingly would rather encounter a rapist than entertain the notion of sex with the bar lezzies“! 

Molly apparently thinks herself miles and morals above most, even while she is fucking a small family; mother, father and underage daughter (Thank God they didn’t have any pets!):

Given Molly’s Hetero MALE mimicry (forcing herself on a woman/believing that the woman’s no equals yes) there was no surprise why Betty Friedan could no longer find a place for Rita Mae’s Radical Feminism!

Polina turns the table on Molly and entices her to role play a game Polina and her husband play involving public urinal sex (ewwww):

Molly then moves on to a date with Polina’s husband, Molly figures by fucking Paul she can be closer to Polina, does that sound like any Lesbians you know? No? Me neither!

Molly then moves on to Polina and Paul’s underage (!?!?!?!) daughter:

The dialogue for Alice wanting to have sex with her mother sounds eerily familiar, and Rita Mae’s treatment of incest as “untraumatic” is the ONLY thing “antihuman” here! 

Molly says earlier in the novel of a similar fuckfest:

Rubyfruit Jungle sums up everything that is Lesbian about Rita Mae and Lesbian in the novel: NOTHING!

That didn’t stop Rita Mae from giving advice to young suicidal Gays and Lesbians in her intro to:


Homosexuals who aren’t “successful gay people” like Rita Mae, (successful meaning Homosexuals who are Heterosexuals who use Homosexuality for their own perverse uses) dress odd, have “exaggerated mannerisms” and are apparently akin to hookers!

Rita Mae, like Molly from Rubyfruit Jungle, sees Homosexuals and/or STRAIGHTBIANS who are found in gay bars as warped, alcoholics, and obsessed with their Homosexuality (or in the case of STRAIGHTBIANS, obsessed with their claim of Homosexuality).

These people, Rita Mae tells young Gays and Lesbians, are life’s LOSERS!

Rita Mae blatantly states actual Homosexuals can simply cast off our inherent natures and be like her (a pro-incest, polygamous, bisexual)!

Rita Mae Brown, by her own admission (when convenient) cast off calling herself a Lesbian, not just because she wasn’t (and she clearly isn’t!!), but because it was no longer profitable to her now mainstream Heterosexual female audience. Rita Mae hated and still hates labels:

Being a Lesbian isn’t constricting or freeing and it mostly certainly isn’t a sarcophagus burying us alive! Like many STRAIGHTBIANS, Rita Mae donned “Lesbian” like cross dressers don woman, Lesbian for Rita functioned as fetish, financial gain, and fame.

dirt and Mrs. Dirt

Beware of Dirt and Mrs. Dirt Impersonators

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Dirt and I are WARNING any and all readers/friends/family to BEWARE/be leery of bogus emails/Twitter accounts/Facebook accounts and/or any other Social Media forms impersonating the both of us.

We know at this point FOR CERTAIN that bogus Twitter/Facebook accounts were used to gaslight/attack various women, used to give false information about both of us, including, but not limited to, the obvious lie that we are biologically male; used to drum up drama; used to waste our time; and used to attempt to gain a WARPED pathological link to Mrs. Dirt.

If you or anyone you know has or receives ANY kind of contact that claims to be either of us, you need to VERIFY it is in fact us by emailing me at thedirtfromdirt@yahoo.com or Mrs Dirt at sayebennett@gmail.com. If you do not receive a response from those (and ONLY those) email accounts, whoever you are dealing is NOT us!

dirt and Mrs. Dirt

Here’s The Thing

To save myself, Dirt, and/or other real Lesbians from having the same argument with Straightbians, other straight “feminists“, and various other assorted dillweeds on Twitter over and over and OVER, I wanted to do a general post to address the most common nonsense we encounter.

So, without further ado, here are the definitive answers to the common malarkey we hear from Straightbians, other straight “feminists” and other assorted asshats:


Dirt and/or I and/or other Lesbians are “really male” and/or “really transgender“.



Seriously, folks: Are you really THAT stupid? (Hint: If you are dumb enough to tweet, retweet, like, and/or believe these lies: Sadly for you, you are officially a few fries short of a Happy Meal).

Both of our real identities have been revealed…long ago, and….drum roll, please….wait for it….wait for it….BOOM!:

We are BOTH Lesbians!


Here’s a helpful hint, Einstein:  Try doing even just a tiny bit of basic research and using just a small smidgen of critical thinking skills, if you have any, to avoid looking like a completely vacuous air-headed dingbat by saying such foolish things in the future. (Or, alternatively: If the asinine shoe fits…go ahead and slip that stiletto right on, “sister“).

Furthermore, accusations that Lesbians are “really men” is a clear indicator that the accuser is a Straightbian. Why? Because it’s clear that she has no clue whatsoever how Lesbians communicate, look, act, or respond. So, keep talking, cupcake, you’re just proving out point with every asinine thing you say.


Dirt and I claim that Lesbians are not biologically female.


Sighing loudly. Nope. Learn to read. Learn to comprehend what you read. Learn to think. That is, if you can. Otherwise, shut up and leave the thinking to those who are smart enough to decipher what is actually being said: That Lesbians are different than STRAIGHT females. Geez. Double duh.


Dirt and I hate straight women.


Again, no. (Really, what is wrong with some people’s ability to read and to comprehend what they read??). Refer to these posts which explain this misconception here and here.


Dirt and I harass, bully, threaten, dox, stalk, and/or have gotten people fired from their jobs (and other assorted variations of these lies).


Not just no, but HELL NO. No to all the above and to any/all other variations of this lie.

Calling a Straightbian a Straightbian is NOT harassment, bullying, etc.; rather, it is falsely called harassment, bullying, etc. because the truth hurts.

Bottom Line: If you find yourself so very threatened by someone else’s assessment of you that you stoop to spreading riDICKulous lies and/or creating DICKsgusting drama to prop up your own clearly-threatened weak ego, it’s a sure sign that YOU are not secure in your own (false) “identity” as a “Lesbian“.

Real Lesbians would simply respond directly. Real Lesbians are not threatened by being called a Straightbian. Why? Because real Lesbians know who we are and we don’t need anyone else’s approval.

So, if you find yourself OVERreacting to the point of making a total ass of yourself, it’s time to consider why what we are saying is so threatening to you. (Spoiler: You are looking more and more and MORE like a STRAIGHTBIAN with every hysterical OVERreaction).

Remember this same principle if you see someone else overreacting and outright lying in a similar manner: “Protesting too much” is an actual thing. And Straightbians doth protest way too much because they have built their entire lives (and, quite often, careers) on the LIE that they are “lesbians“.

Similarly, those who falsely claim that Dirt is “doxxing” transgender individuals are also wrong. Posting what is already posted publicly on the internet is not “doxxing”. Dirt is NOT publishing their real names, addresses, workplaces, and/or any other personal/private information, nor would she.

Again: Learn to THINK, people. Do some basic research of your own to come to a conclusion; my blog and Twitter account are both public, and so are Dirt’s. Whenever someone is just throwing out triggering accusations, without any actual examples/data/proof to back up what she is saying, you really need to consider the fact that there is a reason for the lack of details. And the reason is: It never happened. You are being actively lied to and manipulated, people. Wake up and smell the BS.


Dirt and I block people “because they asked a question or disagreed”.


No. People ask questions and disagree with us ALL THE TIME, yet we don’t block them all. Why? People who are polite and respectful and willing to engage in discussion (even civil disagreement) do NOT get blocked. Well, who gets blocked then? Rude/disrespectful people; lesbophobes; pornified accounts; people who just want to argue incessantly and clearly have no intention of having a discussion; people who lie about us; and those who continue to follow/support outright liars, lesbophobes, and other toxic people.


Dirt and I call everyone who disagrees with us a Straightbian.


Yet again: NO. So: Who do we call a Straightbian? Hmmmm….let’s all THINK about it now…yes, even those who are bringing up the rear, brain-power-wise…oh, yeah…right…STRAIGHTBIANS, that’s who!  If we have called you a Straightbian, it’s simply because you exhibit many of the signs of being a Straightbian. If anyone in these posts here and here sound like you…oh yeah, cupcake, guess what? YOU ARE A STRAIGHTBIAN.


Dirt, I, and/or other Lesbians are “ugly”, “homely”, “mannish”, and/or any other insults to our physical appearance.


Some particularly mean-spirited individuals will stoop to insulting physical appearance. When this happens, such insults always say much more about the person who is doing the insulting than they do about the person/people being insulted.

If you choose to act in such an immature and toxic fashion, just know that your true, nasty, petty, mean colors show through more clearly with each and every insult you hurl.

People will eventually see you for what you really are. And Karma always sees you too.

Furthermore, insulting someone’s appearance is a sure sign that you do NOT have a coherent argument to offer regarding the actual topic of discussion.

And: For those who are falsely calling themselves “feminist” and/or “gender-critical“, faking copious concern about the transitioning of Lesbians, while clicking the “retweet” or “like” button on a tweet directly insulting the physical appearance of Lesbians: We see you as the hypocritical, fraudulent liars that you are. YOU are the problem.

Dirt and I don’t give a darn whether or not you like what we look like. Dirt and I are happy with ourselves and with each other. If you don’t like the way we (and/or other Lesbians) look, don’t look at us. Problem solved!

Here’s the thing: Reading what we write is completely optional. If you don’t like us, the way we look, who we are, and/or what we write, just go away. Far away. Now. Don’t let the door hit your sorry butt on the way out.

We trust that the REAL Lesbians who need to hear what we are saying will find us and will understand what we are saying…which, by the way, is exactly what Straightbians are afraid of.

Straightbians WANT us to shut up, because we are giving away their dirty little secrets.

But we are NOT writing for Straightbians AND we will never shut up.

Real Lesbians deserve the truth. And our message is for LESBIANS only.

Keep out

Image: Pixabay: AG_Exposed: CC0 Creative Commons

What Straightbians Think “Butch” Means And How They Are Wrong

A very smart friend, Genuine Femme, recently commented on Twitter:

Butch to Straightbians is a term with no meaning beyond fashion choice. And they even get that wrong too!

This quote completely sums up a huge problem with the ongoing bastardization of the meaning of Butch and explains a great deal of the confusion and conflict that Dirt, I, Genuine Femme, and other (REAL) Lesbians experience in trying to reclaim the actual meanings of words from the lying, twisted, claw-like talons of Straightbians.

Here is what Straightbians incorrectly think Butch is:

ANY female (who may be a Lesbian, but quite often is another Straightbian) who does any/all of the following:

  • Cuts her hair short or shaves her head or has a mohawk or has dreadlocks, etc.;
  • Has a copious amount of tattoos and/or piercings and/or body modifications and/or rainbow-colored hair;
  • Wears so-called “men’s” clothes (or even so-called “women’s” clothes that are stereotypically perceived to be “non-feminine”), including, but not limited to, any or all of the following: suits, ties, bow ties, ball caps, trousers, suspenders, Doc Martens, jeans, boxers, vests, cargo pants, leather, etc.;
  • Simply (but incorrectly) calls herself “Butch”;
  • Calls herself “gender nonconforming”, “gender defiant”, “gender deviant”, “gender diverse”, “genderqueer”, non-binary”, or any other such offensive terms;
  • Incorrectly playacts “Butch” using her own uninformed preconceived notions of “Butch” via her version “acting like a man” (because “male-wannabe” is what she stupidly THINKS “Butch” is!), including, but not limited to, any or all of the following: being hypersexual, typically in a “top”/”Daddy” (ewww!!) sort of way; being domineering or overbearing; swaggering embarrassingly around like Barney Fife on steroids; packing; being sexist (treating her Straightbian like “the little woman” in the relationship); etc.;
  • Eschews femininity” (which is a ridiculous and untrue radfem notion; remember that REAL Lesbians do NOT “eschew feminity”).

The above misconceptions explain how Straightbians (many of whom often incorrectly call themselves “Femmes“) state (with the completely misplaced confidence of the completely ignorant) that “Butches strip” and other such nonsensical, inane claims.

Once again for the numerous seemingly slow-witted Straightbians/others who are perpetuating and/or believing such ridiculousness: 

Many people ask why we continue to insist on calling out the numerous shocking inaccuracies about Butch, Femme, and Lesbian in general. We continue because words have meaning, and the truth matters.

If you find yourself feeling threatened by what we are saying, it’s time to stop and ask yourself why.

Perhaps you already know deep-down, underneath all of your rationalizations and layers of denial, that the life you are living is ONE BIG FAT LIE.

It’s time to face YOUR own demons instead of making demons out of us!

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Sex and the STRAIGHTBIAN (Part 2): The Passion is Perversion

Note: Another joint post with Dirt, originally posted here.

The flip side of the frigid/anti-sex/passion is political/eschewing sex and femininity STRAIGHTBIANS are the STRAIGHTBIANS who embrace sex with both arms and every orifice, LOVE and sex sex sex, try anything once (or twice!) sex Het women.

In years past these STRAIGHTBIANS were on the opposite side of Radical Feminism; their feminist liberation was to be found, not in squatting over a mirror looking at their vaginas, BUT in using their vaginas to find power! They convinced themselves that through sadomasochism, where they could explore/control sexual proclivities (some of which were) derived from child sexual abuse, they could find the power robbed of them as girls/women.

Depending on if sexual abuse was suffered as a child, how long it occurred, how it was dealt with or ignored and natural temperament, determined each STRAIGHTBIAN’s role in BDSM. For some STRAIGHTBIANS that role may be as the submissive (many will co-opt (High/Femme/Bottom/Baby/Girl to imply that) for others that role will be as the dominant (many will co-opt Top/Butch/Daddy to imply that), and still others will play at a Daddy/boi/boy sex-play. A number of STRAIGHTBIANS who gravitate toward the dominant roles have/will also transition. This STRAIGHTBIAN type’s pathology on cross sex hormones will often increase their warped sexual appetites as well as their sadism during sex scenes. This STRAIGHTBIAN type, despite the sheer fear and powerlessness they felt as sexually abused girls, first identify with and later become (through transition/hormones) the all powerful abuser of their (mostly) willing equally disturbed partners.  Some of these dominant STRAIGHTBIANS will even lobby for less strict laws around child/adult sexual relations aka Pedophilia. Aside, many dominant STRAIGHTBIANS will have had at some point/s identified as gay men, most will have been/are Fag Hags, including having sex with Gay men.

Some of the more mentally damaged STRAIGHTBIANS in this group will even act out (repeatedly) sexual abuses done to them as a child; one partner will role-play being a baby girl while the other partner pretends to be the Daddy who then sexually abuses his/her baby girl. Both parties derive their own warped feelings of power during these bizarre scenes. Power, by being the person holding the safe word which can stop everything on utterance, and the other feeling power/full by taking power over the other and having the power to bring the other to sexual heights/climax/es; exchanges that both parties tightly wrap in a yarn of believed ultimate/superior intimacy and trust. But the intimacy/trust are nothing more than a mutually shared delusion that can quickly unravel at the slightest fray.

As neither party is actually Lesbian, these particular STRAIGHTBIANS fetishize “lesbian sex” (sex between females) through their own Heterosexuality/Het norms. 

Many STRAIGHTBIANS in this group for varying reasons are hypersexual, and sex will figure some way in nearly all aspects of their life. They will join or forge self created careers in some aspect of the sex industry. They may be sex educators/experts, strippers, prostitutes, sex facilitators/consultants, burlesque performers; they may make lesbian porn videos/photo shoots etc. Most of these STRAIGHTBIAN types will have a sexual pathology, but even those where this is absent, because none are Lesbians, ALL have a pathological need/drive to sexualize themselves with a female partner/s. Lesbian to ALL STRAIGHTBIANS must involve another female, but particularly for this type.

Without sex or even the idea of sex between two females, these STRAIGHTBIANS disappear. Therefore, fetishizing lesbian is not only a product of their pathology, it is at the root of their self. Like Transgender self-hood, these STRAIGHTBIANS rely on constant external validation/reinforcement, even if that is nothing more than personal photos of themselves/their female partner kissing/touching/sexing etc. Many will exhibit public displays of affection bordering on the sexual, they don’t simply WANT the public to look, they NEED the public to look. They NEED lesbian approval, even from strangers, be that at a restaurant while having dinner or on Social Media.

Unlike actual Lesbians (who do not require external validation to tell us who we are), lesbian approval for this STRAIGHTBIAN type isn’t approval for being a Lesbian. These STRAIGHTBIANS require approval for behaviour they FEEL to be Lesbian (via their Heterosexuality), feelings they need to strengthen their foothold of THEIR thin grip on Lesbian IDENTITY. This tenuous grip being so fragile, even if they have 1 naysayer among a 1000, they may mentally/emotionally implode! Even demanding validation and/or vilifying naysayers through conferences/sex wars/Social Media battles/books/articles published/tickets sold etc that they ARE Lesbian! As an aside, many of these types will have romantic/sexual photos of themselves around their home with a former/current partner; a daily reminder that these girl-on-girl visuals MAKE them lesbian

Past Straightbians in this group fancied themselves on being sexual outlaws/sexual renegades, turning sexual mores on their heads; queering lesbian  through stealing Gay male cultural norms/tropes to wet their warped sexual perversions in one hand and lining their pockets through theorizing lesbian as the ultimate subversive act in the other. This Past STRAIGHTBIAN group believed/preached that through the bondage of ropes and chains (het) women could FREE themselves from the shackles of Patriarchy.

Today’s version of this STRAIGHTBIAN type merely mimics the straight male’s wet dreams lining the shelves of porn hubs everywhere. This STRAIGHTBIAN version preens, prances, pouts and performs lesbian per Patriarchy’s fantasies; their lips never speak of Liberation, only licking pussy. This group doesn’t even have the mental wherewithal to look beyond what they see everyday: HeteroSEXuality. Somewhere between IQ and the internet, today’s STRAIGHTBIANS lazily believe that by performing Het male lesbian cliches for global attention/identity reinforcements that they are subverting social norms! These STRAIGHTBIANS spend less time trying to smash the Patriarchy and more time bending over for it! They tell themselves their sexual displays are personal, but their copious “look at us, look at us, look at us!” cinches their narcissism that is ALWAYS looking for a looker.

But both types, past and present, can only occupy lesbian through male tropes (gay or straight). Meaning: even the ways in which they suspend their Heterosexuality, IS Heterosexual!

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt

Sex and the STRAIGHTBIAN (Part 1) The Passion Is Political

Note: This is another joint post with Dirt, originally posted here.

We are closing this year out with a series of posts we’ve been asked by many Lesbians to write, and which we feel will be informative for the unSTRAIGHTening Lesbian series.

We haven’t written a great deal on STRAIGHTBIANS and sex, but where mentioned we have focused primarily on RadFem STRAIGHTBIANS whom (for varying reasons) eschew sex with men, an,  more often than not, eschew sex…period.

If you took a Women’s Studies course or such, you will recall the great “lesbian sex wars” back in the late 70’s/early 80’s, those erring on the side of the anti-sex group consisted primarily of staunch RadFems. Het women who routinely patrolled other women’s sexuality/sexual behaviours, quickly ousting dirty RadFems who preferred penetration to pussy licking or the preferable platonic love. But human nature being human nature, there are new generations of Het women who continue to fall into that RadFem anti-sex category. And depending on sexual abuses/temperament/dominant handedness/emotional baggage/education/politics etc. a percentage of those Het women will seek out to date/partner with other (mostly Het) females.

These Het women will claim Lesbian, define Lesbian, publish books/articles as Lesbians/about Lesbian issues, and be professionally known as Lesbians, all the while being/thinking/functioning Heterosexual. They may don a short ‘do, sport sensible shoes, and own a flannel shirt or two or three, an acceptable “lesbian” outfit that they believe says don’t look at me, look at what I do. An outfit defined/created by RadFems before them, serving the same purpose.

These STRAIGHTBIANS usually do not know nor associate with actual Lesbians, and when they encounter us, they quickly snub us. They believe they are intellectually superior to Lesbians (they believe they are gifted academics and perceive actual Lesbians to be Blue Collar/beneath them socially/morally/intellectually and therefore dismiss/despise any Dyke who dares to question THEIR hetsplained version of lesbian). These RadFem STRAIGHTBIANS also incorrectly perceive themselves to be ideologically/politically superior/cognizant to actual Lesbians (they CHOSE to be womyn centered and would not dare debase/objectify womyn with sex/sexual thoughts, which they believe is similar to the dreaded Male Gaze holding less fortunate females hostage everywhere).

These types of STRAIGHTBIANS chant, preach, and promote the personal IS political, yet their entire political system springs from their own personal damaged pathology. A pathology not just rooted in the Heterosexual, it IS Heterosexual! BUT a Heterosexuality (at least where relations with males are concerned) THEY do not want! Unlike most Het females who naturally feel quite passionate (including romantic sometimes) with Het females in their lives, these STRAIGHTBIANS take these feelings to a whole other level, wrapping their pathology and warped political theories into romance with another female. Because their self proclaimed political reasons for their female romances usually dominate their lesbian relationships, sex usually takes a backseat or worse, the trunk (for you Brits-it gets put in the boot of the car). Attraction for these STRAIGHTBIANS is an attraction to the other person’s politics, rather than raw passion itself. The passion is political, not the personal and depending on each Het woman’s politics, that joint political may last years, decades or till death. BUT it isn’t LESBIAN!

RadFems past who fit this category and who fit it today can usually be found bitching/moaning (usually ineffectually) about porn, prostitution, abortion rights, and identity politics. Instead of having healthy relationships/friendships with men, since they “CHOOSE to be lesbians” for the good of womankind (yeah, right…), they find other ways of having passionate relationships with men, via fighting with them. In the past these RadFem STRAIGHTBIANS lobbied against pimps, porn moguls, and politicians, today these fervent feminist fracases take place all over Social Media, much to the same result as RadFem’s past-nought.

For STRAIGHTBIANS like this, sex is sublimated for politics.

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt