Butches, Stripping, and Straightbians…Oh My

For a couple of days now, I have been in a series of heated debates regarding the question of whether Butches would ever be strippers. (Answer: Not just no, but HELL NO).

In response to my statement that the probability of a Butch stripping would be approximately a snowball’s chance in Hell, I received this flippant tweet, presumably to “prove” that Butches do strip:

img_0182

Problem is: The woman depicted here is most certainly NOT Butch, and most likely, she’s not even ANY sort of Lesbian either. This tweeter, along with a plethora of others, incorrectly assume that if any woman cuts her hair short and dons a suit (or any other so-called “male attire”) and simply makes the claim she is Butch, she is magically (POOF!) suddenly Butch.

But it doesn’t work that way. Not even close. Butches are born, not made.  Butch is NOT a performance, a costume, a political stance, or an act, and it is majorly offensive when people appropriate and misrepresent Lesbian lives.

A true Butch would NEVER strip. She would literally die first, and that is NOT an exaggeration.

What gives me the right to make such a broad claim, you ask? Because I am a Femme Lesbian. Because I am married to a Butch, and have known other Butches. Because I have been in the Lesbian community for many, many years now, and have seen so many dykes & Straightbians call themselves Butch when they clearly weren’t. Because I happen to have a lot more knowledge about this topic that most people.

(Yes, I said it, I mean it, and I don’t care if you mistakenly think that is arrogant, because, yes, I do, in fact, know more about this topic than most people).

Anyway, I won’t bore you with giving you a play-by-play of every argumentative hetsplaining tweet or every Straightbian arguing with Lesbians about OUR OWN LIVES. It would take a dissertation to just explain the last couple of days.

But let’s examine one striking example of the sort of ignorance and attitude real Lesbians have to put up with:

Image 2

Let’s examine this snippet. Seemingly out-of-the-blue, a relatively new “feminist” account with 14 followers at the time and a handful of tweets crawls out of some hole to randomly bust my chops?

Hmmmm…it seems likely that this is a familiar troll in a new disguise, but regardless of this person’s true identity, automatically jumping to a racial connotation when race was not even mentioned is an incredibly transparent attempt to derail the actual point (“Butches don’t strip…period.”) by implying I am somehow inexplicably being racist by talking about a Lesbian issue.

Obviously, that idiotic crap doesn’t work with me. “Stick to the topic or shut up” is my motto.

(And, no, there are not any Butches of any race stripping for a living, now or ever).

Moving on to the next ridiculous assertion from our wannabe know-it-all:

Image 4

Okay, so calling me a racist didn’t work, so what does this buffoon do now? Hmmm…Oh, I know, let’s bring RAPE into it! THAT always derails the discussion!

This “rape culture” statement is completely off-topic and makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, so, again, this is an obvious attempt to discredit what we are saying by twisting what we are actually saying to try to make it mean something completely unrecognizable.

This is actually a very common Straightbianfeministploy:

If you have no argument and/or simply don’t understand the topic, it’s time to bring up any of the following to try to derail the conversation:

  • Rape or Rape Culture
  • The Patriarchy
  • The “Trans Cult”
  • Racism
  • Sexism
  • Any other “ism”
  • Discrimination
  • Violence Against Women
  • MRAs
  • Men in dresses “forcing”/”coercing” Lesbians to have sex with them (Not happening)

Well, those tactics may work with some people, but they are certainly not going to work with me or Dirt.

Again, the topic at hand was simple: Butch Lesbians and stripping. This topic has nothing to do with racism, rape, etc.

Back to the point: Do Butches strip?

And the final answer is: Butch Lesbians would never strip, regardless of race, age, audience, era, or circumstance.

The end.

Dear Straight Women: Lesbians Aren’t Your Bitches

Earlier today, Dirt and I came across this objectionable article on Facebook, ironically posted on a site called lesbianpride.org.

This article purports that “Ruby Rose’s Sexiness Is Apparently Turning Straight Women Into Lesbians“, and as any readers of ours already knows, we call BULLSHIT on that one. Nobody can “turn into a Lesbian”; you either are one, or you’re not.

I won’t belabor that point again, however, since we both have addressed it multiple times on both of our blogs.

The main point I want to make in regard to this article and the widespread assumption that Lesbians should be flattered by straight females’ attention is to give all of the straight women who think that Lesbians are your consolation prize a very clear message:

Go to Hell. 

Lesbians deserve someone who will love us for exactly who we are, which a straight woman will NEVER be able to do because orientation doesn’t change.

We deserve better.

Lesbians, do NOT settle for anything less than Lesbian.

And, here is a joint post with Dirt on this topic, originally posted here:

While this post is prompted by this particular article, it is by no means an isolated incident, nor an incident particular to media status.

I find it interesting that when a group of men say a Woman is fuckable, they are deemed to be objectifying, sexist pigs — but a straight Woman declares a Dyke bangable (and by bangable, in (Het) Woman terms, means she’d let said lezzie lick her pussy, because, of course, that’s all Lesbians do/want to do sexually, right?) and Lesbians everywhere are supposed to be fucking grateful!!!

Lesbians do not require (Het) Women to tell us we are attractive, fuckable, hot, sexy, or anyfuckingthing!

Dear (Het) Women,

  • Lesbians do NOT want your bored-with-men desires;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your potential het diseases;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your dick breath/dick germs;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your emotional histrionics;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your petty heterocentric materialistic BS;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your woman-born-woman/woman-identified-woman wantonness;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your one-sided, half-assed, pillow-princess pity fucks while you are waiting to catch the next dickmobile STRAIGHT back to Hetsville;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your backstabbing compliments/thinly veiled insults as to how we are so much like a man;

In summary, (Het) Women……Lesbians do NOT want YOU!

Sincerely–Lesbians!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lesbians,

We know it may SEEM flattering when (Het) Women say we are fuckable. Lesbians, including ourselves, are starving for depictions of ourselves on TV, movies, books, and media. We know what it is like to scarf up any pitiful scrap that is thrown our way. We know how frustrating it is to never be truly seen by society and to never truly see ourselves being accurately represented…ANYFUCKINGWHERE!

But it is NOT a compliment to be deemed fuckable by a (Het) Woman. Sure, a (Het) Woman might fuck you (or, more accurately, get fucked BY you), but rest assured, she will also fuck you over. And when she is done with her little experiment (i.e., YOU), she will be sucking dick before sundown.

We deserve better.

Lesbians, do NOT settle for anything less than Lesbian.

Love,

dirt & Mrs. Dirt

The Chicago Dyke March Badly Needs A New Name 

Some idiots calling themselves “Chicago Dyke March” on Twitter proved that they are most certainly NOT Lesbians/Dykes with many tweets, but this one tweet in particular stood out among the general ignorance:


First of all, if you are calling yourself a “dyke march” you are, in fact, talking about (and for) Lesbians…um, duh.

Secondly, this SHOULD go without saying, but since basic facts obviously escape the notice of these buffoons, allow me to spell it out:

LESBIANS DO NOT WANT DICK.

AND:

LESBIANS DO NOT HAVE DICKS.

Perhaps it would be beneficial for these bozos to invest in a dictionary, or, at the very least, learn how to Google definitions, because their cluelessness is astonishing.

The VERY-inappropriately-named “Chicago Dyke March” only needs one simple tweak to rename themselves accurately.

In fact, since they obviously struggle with basic comprehension, I have a suggestion for their new name:

Chicago DICK March

You’re welcome.

“Straight” To The Point

Over the last several days, Dirt and I have been arguing with straight female “allies” on Twitter over the premise that Lesbians are different.

To make a long story short, not 1, not 2, not 3, but a whole coterie of straight females have tag-teamed us, alternating between telling us to “be nice to our allies“; completely dismissing us; twisting whatever we say; bringing up unrelated topics/issues to try to derail/confuse the discussion; making analogies that make absolutely no sense whatsoever; acting like we are saying something we are not, then being offended by their own incorrect assumptions; trying to make us seem mean/bad/rude/etc.; name-calling; subtweeting; and usually, finally blocking us. Just when one wave disappears into the horizon, a new wave appears. Rinse and repeat.

Here’s the thing: It takes an astonishing amount of straight privilege to argue with Lesbians about OUR OWN LIVES.

These straight women do not know what it is like to be a Lesbian; but much more importantly, their actions of arguing with us ad nauseum proves that they don’t CARE.

I don’t know what it is like to be a man, or a Black person, but you don’t see me telling men or Black people how they “should” feel or denying or arguing with what they say about THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES.

Yet, that is precisely what these straight women are doing. Instead of listening to what we are actually saying about our own Lesbian experience/lives, they are actively attempting to silence us, shame us, twist our words, deny our experiences, and discredit us.

Why? There are likely a number of reasons, depending on the person, including, but not limited to: ignorance, arrogance, straight privilege, fear, reacting with emotion instead of logic, faulty preconceived notions, wanting to keep the incorrect notion alive that “any woman can be a Lesbian”, comprehension difficulties, not wanting to listen, misdirected anger, etc.

Whatever the reason(s), their behavior is completely unacceptable. 

Whether or not people agree with us, Lesbians deserve the same respect and courtesy straight people expect (and routinely get).

People, especially those who purport to be “Lesbian allies, should actually BE allies by listening rather than talking; caring rather than dismissing; remaining open rather than blocking.

And if you fruitcakes cannot do that, you are NOT an ally.

AND you can kindly fuck off.

(Please also read Dirt’s post on the same topic, here).

Image 1

Image: Pixabay: varintorn: CC0 Public Domain

Just Because Something Is Called “Lesbian” Does Not Mean It Is Actually Lesbian

I recently got my knickers in a twist on Twitter when I saw this link to a (so-called) “Lesbian” (NOT!) Oral Testimony website.

You may be asking yourself why I would be so displeased with something that seems to support Lesbians…

Well, the answer is quite simple:

Because I am incredibly sick of our name being used willy-nilly, without the slightest concern for truth, accuracy, or ethics.

Anything that has “Lesbian” as part of their main title should be…hold onto your shorts and get ready for this wild ‘n’ crazy idea…LESBIAN!! 

And this website is a lot of things, but none of them are truly LESBIAN:

Even though the word “Lesbian” is thrown in as an afterthought at best, I am willing to go out on a limb here and wager that these alleged “Lesbians” giving oral testimony aren’t actually Lesbians after all, but rather, they are most likely the dreaded Straightbians who Dirt and I have been writing about.

Personally, I don’t care if all the two-spirit pansexual aromantic non-binary queers who “identify” as the attention-getter-du-jour want to yack it up until the cows come home. Have at it, and have fun being “special”.

BUT DON’T CALL IT “LESBIAN” BECAUSE IT IS NOT.

06/09/2017: EDITED TO ADD: Even the most cursory of searches revealed a lot of MEN being interviewed for a purported LESBIAN website. Sigh. I truly wished I was wrong about this, but clearly I am not.

LotOfMen

Bottom line: This project needs another title to accurately reflect their content. Here are my top 3 suggestions:

Oral History of Every Special Snowflake Available (OHESSA)

Listening Intently To Everybody But Actual Lesbians (LITEBAL)

I Am An Academic With Funding So I Am Making A Faux Lesbian Website: Please Send Cash Now (IAAAWFSIAMAFLWPSCN)

Being a Lesbian Is NOT All About Sex

I have touched upon this topic before, but it deserves a specific post. Heck, it deserves multiple posts!

Due to the fact that being a Lesbian is labeled a SEXUAL orientation, people in general, including Lesbians, often equate Lesbian with SEX.

ThisSucks

(Pun Semi-Intended)

Here’s the thing: Yes, Lesbians do have sex. But: Um, hello, so do straight people!

But somehow, when straight people talk about their romantic relationships in general terms, nobody…NOBODY…assumes that they are talking about SEX…well, unless they’re actually talking about sex!

If a straight woman says, “My boyfriend and I went to the Farmer’s Market on Saturday”, nobody tells her, “I don’t need to know about your sex life!” or “I don’t care who you sleep with, because love is love!”  And nobody asks a straight woman, upon learning that she has a male romantic partner who accompanied her to the Farmer’s Market, “How does that work? Who’s on top?”

Nope, they just ask whether they bought heirloom tomatoes.

But let a Lesbian mention our female partner in a general, non-x-rated conversation, and BOOM! We are quite likely to hear a variation of the above comments, get a barrage of intrusive questions, or, at the very least, potentially face an awkward moment.

For a hilariously accurate overview of what would happen if Lesbians suddenly started acting like straight people, watch this video. Then watch it again, and let it truly sink in.

The incorrect over-emphasis on the SEXual part of orientation leads to a variety of problems and misunderstandings, ranging from mildly annoying to outright dangerous.

First, to focus solely on sexual activity as the basis for defining Lesbian opens the door wide open to the problem of Straightbians of all sorts falsely claiming to be us and spreading misinformation to and about us. Having sex (or even a long-term relationship) with another female does not make anyone a Lesbian. Behavior ≠ Orientation.

Second, to oversexualize Lesbianism leads some men to think of us as available sexual objects. To make matters worse, Lesbians are typically falsely portrayed as hypersexualized nymphets just WAITING for a man to sweep us off of our feet. Ugh and double ugh.

Thirdly, and most importantly, for Lesbians to define ourselves as simply a SEXual orientation denies the very real fact that Lesbians are different from straight females in ways that have nothing whatsoever to do with who we f**k ~ or even whether we f**k.

This is a theme that both Dirt and I will write more about in the future…so stay tuned…

Is Aunt Lynn a Boy?

Important Note: This post is by my sweetie, Dirt, and was originally posted here. I wanted to repost it because it illustrates an important example of the kind of situation that happens to Lesbians, particularly Butches, ALL THE TIME.

So, here’s Dirt’s post:


Last Sunday Mrs Dirt and I had breakfast with a niece of mine we hadn’t seen in a while. My niece had with her, my great great nephew-Eli, age 7. Eli we hadn’t seen for about a year. During breakfast Eli incorrectly used a male pronoun toward me, my niece quickly corrected him, then reminded him that they had discussed this earlier when they were on their way down for breakfast. My niece explained to Anna and I the conversation her and Eli had about me being a girl and not a boy, as Eli had, with my niece used an incorrect pronoun regarding myself. This situation is one both my niece and I are used to, as family youngsters have LONG incorrectly assumed I am a male. And like Eli, are perplexed to find out that I am in fact a female.

Anna and I asked Eli what makes me a boy and Anna a girl. His first response was that I had on long shorts. He said girls dont wear long shorts. Anna then said that her shorts were the same length as mine, then asked him if she too is a boy. Eli shook his head emphatically NO. He then said Anna had longer hair and pointed out I had boy hair.

Anna then asked him if he grew his hair out the same length as hers, would he be a girl. He looked icked out and said NO! I told him then that Anna was like Bruce Jenner (he clearly knew who I referenced) and looked at Anna and said jokingly “take off you wig then”!

Eli then looked at my niece and asked ” aunt Lynn is a boy, right?”. My niece said no, Lynn is a girl. I asked him, if I grew my hair out and had shorter shorts, would that make me a girl like Anna. He shook his head no again. He said “you a boy”! He said that all three of us were trying to “fool” him.

Eli went home sure that my actual sex is male. Even when social cues to sex were stripped away, Eli still remained convinced I am male.

Also interesting is, despite being assured that Anna is female, he responded to her very differently than he did/does with my niece. He treated/acted with her as he does me-like he would around males. My niece, he acts like he typically does around women (and by women I most certainly mean straight). He has always been quite the handful, being spoiled by his great granny and my niece doesnt help. Despite not having seen him in quite a while, up until a year ago, I saw him quite often. He acts bananas with women relatives and falls in line if a male relative is around or when I am or now even when Anna is. His response to me is common whenever I’m around children, even children that do not know me, Anna admits to the same in her vast experience with children, related and unrelated.

Even when it is clear that we are female, children respond to us as they would males. I HEAVILY suspect even when it is physically obvious Lesbians are female, we are STILL read as male(ish) via brain processes. It isnt simply that we as Homosexuals have a built in gaydar system for detecting each other, we have a gaydar system that signals to Heterosexuals how to respond to us/treat us.

More examples of Lesbian experiences with being read as male by adult Heterosexuals coming soon.

dirt