Time for a Pop Quiz!

Here’s a quick pop quiz to test basic reasoning skills.

Just answer “Yes” or “No” to each of the questions below:

1). Can a cat become a dog?

2). Can a pickle become a potato chip?

3). Can a horse become a cowboy?

4). Can chocolate become vanilla?

5). Can a tree become a rock?

6). Can a gay man or a lesbian become straight?

7). Can an Android become an iPhone?

8). Can a fork become a spoon?

9). Can a fish become a cow?

10). Can a heterosexual woman become a lesbian?

If you answered “No” to ALL of the questions on this quiz, congratulations! You are officially smarter than many people who have a Ph.D.!

If you answered “Yes” to ANY of the questions on this quiz, have fun living in La-La Land.

Sheila Jeffreys Officially Confirms That She Is a Straightbian

An alert reader (thanks!) spotted this hilarious attempted smack-down of Dirt by “Academic Straightbian SusieSheila Jeffreys, and sent us this comedic screencap taken from Sheila’s latest treatise, “The Lesbian Revolution: Lesbian Feminism in the UK 1970-1990” (2018):

Sheila J Dirt

After nearly choking to death laughing our Lesbian asses off, we decided to do a post about how good old Sheila mistakenly thinks she is so clever, but, in fact, she simply and  naively PROVES the very points we made about her and her Straightbian cohorts.

Okay, so let’s break down Sheila’s sad attempt at dissing Dirt:

1). Sheila claims that Dirt is “no feminist“; apparently mistaking that snarky quip for an insult. Well, no shit, Sherlock; Dirt has never claimed to be a radical feminist. In fact, Dirt is proud to NOT be a radical feminist because she is not a fan of delusional drivel. (And ditto with Mrs. Dirt, by the way). Duh.

2). Sheila, while purporting to be a “feminist” herself, seemingly willfully “forgets” to cite Mrs. Dirt as the equal co-author of the entire Unstraightening Lesbian series. As a Academic Straightbian Susie herself, Sheila clearly should be familiar with the rules of citation; after all, she is quite well known for infamously citing herself at every opportunity. Her intentional lack of citation shows that her “feminist” principles apparently do not include the fact that a Lesbian partner/co-author as being worthy of recognition — which is actually not very feminist after all, now is it? Think about it.

3). Poor Sheila apparently lacks reading comprehension skills and/or even the most basic of accurate reporting skills. Neither of us have EVER said that “women who have ever related sexually to men can never become lesbians.” In fact, we have both written about “Later-In-Life Lesbians“. What we have said is that NOBODY can “become a Lesbian. You either are born a Lesbian, or you are not one at all. Some Lesbians may initially attempt to please their families/society/church/etc. by marrying a man, then later come out as a Lesbian. But guess what? THEY WERE LESBIANS ALL ALONG, EINSTEIN. You know who isn’t a Lesbian, and never will be, though, Sheila et al.? A HETEROSEXUAL female who chooses (for whatever reason) to partner with another female, that’s who. For approximately the millionth time: Behavior does NOT equal orientation. Geez, Sheila. Do try to keep up, dear.

4). Sheila writes, “She (Dirt) says that I am not and have never been a lesbian because I was once heterosexual; rather, I am a ‘straightbian'”. Um, yeah, exactly. BINGO! Ding ding ding, Sheila wins a prize! Yes, that is exactly what we are saying, Sheila: IF YOU ARE A HETEROSEXUAL, sweetie, YOU ARE NOT A FREAKING LESBIAN. You are one or you are the other; you can never be both, nor can you switch back and forth. Sheila states clearly here in this passage that she was, in fact, born a HETEROSEXUAL. Ergo, Sheila is NOT A LESBIAN (nor is any other Straightbian), nor has she ever been, nor will she ever be. Which, of course, is the entire point of the Unstraightening Lesbian series.

5). Sheila goes on to babble some bullshit about butchness, then culminates her blather with this “brilliant” (NOT!) thought: “This jockeying for position and for authenticity, for the status of ‘real ones’, creates bitter divisions between lesbians. It also creates a barrier to heterosexual women choosing to become lesbians.” First of all, we aren’t jockeying for “position” — but: we are saying that the plethora of NON-Lesbians (AKA Straightbians), like Shoddy Sheila herself, who have found fame and fortune while arrogantly speaking for Lesbians are wrong and harmful to real Lesbians in a myriad of ways. Secondly, standing up for Lesbian truth and authenticity does not “create bitter divisions between lesbians” — instead, it creates bitter divisions between real Lesbians and fake-ass Straightbians. (Good riddance too. Bye, bye, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, ladies). Finally, YES: We do, in fact, strive to create a barrier to heterosexual women who falsely claim that they “choose to be Lesbians“. Why? Well, let’s all just THINK about it — we have confidence that even the dullest knife in the drawer is capable of seeing the irony in Sheila’s statement. Yes, IF SOMEONE IS HETEROSEXUAL, SHE IS NOT A LESBIAN. Duh. Sheila freely admits in this passage that she and her cohorts are, in fact, HETEROSEXUAL…which makes Sheila and The Straightbians — wait for it, wait for it — NOT FREAKING LESBIANS. FFS.

6). Neither of us have ever said that females can’t/shouldn’t make a choice to partner with other females. Of course, we recognize that everybody has a right to live their lives any way they see fit. So, go for it, straight chickadees, and do whatever you want…but just know that you are wrong, unethical, and immoral if you call yourself a “Lesbian”.

7). Thanks, Sheila, for publicly admitting what we have been saying all along: that you and others in our Unstraightening Lesbian series are, in fact, HETEROSEXUALS. Being a Lesbian is not a choice, dear, and it’s terribly privileged and arrogant for you and others to claim that it is. Publishing idiotic drivel like the quote above simply reinforces the clueless, twisted, entitled egocentrism of Straightbians: especially the self-proclaimed “lesbian experts” who are neither Lesbians nor experts.

8). LOL at “Although all ‘butch’ lesbians are not as hostile as Dirt…“. Here’s the thing about that quote: Sheila doesn’t even know what Butch means, nor does she actually know a real Butch, but regardless: yes, Dirt is contemptuous toward charlatans, fakes, liars, and frauds…AKA: STRAIGHTBIANS. And so is Mrs. Dirt. It is always interesting that whenever real Lesbians try to stick up for ourselves and push back against the relentless appropriation of our name/lives by NON-Lesbians like Sheila Straightbian, we are called rude, hostile, etc. Hell, many times, we are even accused of being males. The fact that Straightbians cannot even understand what we are saying, nor relate to how we are saying it, is even more proof that Lesbians are different than straight women.

9). Kindly take your radical feminist malarkey and shove it way, way far up your…well, you know.

Dirt & Mrs. Dirt

Image 45

You still are, Sheila. You always will be.

STRAIGHTBIAN Claims Dirt and Mrs Dirt are Extreme Trans Activists

In the more than dozen plus years I have been actively writing about/criticizing/myth dispelling/accurate info providing about transgenderism/cross-sex hormone use/transgender surgical mutilations coupled HEAVILY with and now centered on Lesbian biology/Lesbian psychology/Lesbian childhood/Lesbian Teen-hood/Lesbian adulthood etc, MANY MANY MANY trite illogical/ignorant/moronic/over-emotional/lamebrained, and imbecilic insults have come my way. But surely the MOST birdbrained of all has to be that Mrs Dirt and myself are a trans couple/trans activists!
Yes, you read that right. This rumour began (not surprisingly) after our UnSTRAIGHTening Lesbian series took off and has occasionally picked up steam. Apparently Mrs Dirt (as Hetsplained rumour has it) was born a man and transitioned to that of a trans(woman), while I was born a female but transitioned to that of a trans(man). (Hetsplained rumour also has it) that Mrs Dirt was/is an autogynephile (Het male who transitions) while I was a Lesbian who transitioned.
The mirth aspect of these particular rumours is not even that they have no merit whatsoever (clearly they dont), BUT that they make absolutely no biological transgender sense! But sense, linear thought, and biological reality are all (as our unSTRAIGHTening series has shown) foreign concepts to the STRAIGHTBIAN mind. For STRAIGHTBIANS, self-preservation trumps truth every time, and the work Mrs Dirt and I are doing threatens STRAIGHTBIANS living or dead (so it seems) to such an acute degree that even what we write on our own PERSONAL (albeit public) blogs is grounds for warning!

Despite a very glaring and blatant warning to read this blog at your our risk (or as the STRAIGHTBIAN case may be) at your own peril, STRAIGHTBIANS CANNOT STAY AWAY:

HER own peril as the case may be. Whether or not this is the STRAIGHTBIAN who started the trans rumours about Mrs Dirt and I, its clear this IS the STRAIGHTBIAN spreading them at THIS point in time. The first Twitter screencap is from a week ago and the second is from yesterday:

Now take a gander at this Facebook gem that fell into my lap (thanks to a Lesbian) this morning:

This makes it crystal clear there is a STRAIGHTBIAN driven (secret) group dedicated to slandering Mrs Dirt and myself, in a futile effort to silence Lesbian truths, Lesbian lives, Lesbian narratives, and Lesbian biology! And according to other FB posts that were shared with me, the admin of this group IS the STRAIGHTBIAN claiming Mrs Dirt and I are transgender!
Since this is still new info to Mrs Dirt and I and since we arent much familiar with STRAIGHTBIAN who is slandering us, we cannot tell you much more, as we ourselves are on a fact-finding mission as I write this. What I can tell you is that the Het woman/STRAIGHTBIAN driving the rumour mill bus is quickly headed for a dead-end street.
Unless STRAIGHTBIANS who have numbers and Het privilege on their side, Dykes have biology and biology trumps EVERYTHING!

https://dirtywhiteboi67.blogspot.com/2018/09/straightbian-claims-dirt-and-mrs-dirt.html

Are We The Only Lesbians In The World?

I wish we had a nickel every time someone made a dismissive, derisive, and untrue comment implying that Dirt, myself, and/or a specific friend of oursthink that we are the only Lesbians in the world” because of our outspokenness about Straightbians. We could all retire in comfort if only someone would pay us for even a small portion of the utter nonsense spread about us.

So, I thought I would do a post addressing this specific, nonsensical, and completely irrational (yet shockingly common!) comment.

Question: Do we think we are the only Lesbians in the world?

Answer: No.

Let’s all just take a minute to really think about this claim: If we actually did think that we were the only Lesbians, there would be absolutely no need to write to/for/about Lesbians. We would just talk amongst ourselves and save ourselves a bunch of time and trouble, now wouldn’t we? (Duh!).

This message has been brought to you on behalf of my ongoing “Just Say No To Saying Ignorant Crap on Twitter” campaign. You’re welcome.

The Aftermath of Avital Ronell: When The True Homophobia Of “Queer” Is Revealed

I always say that if you look closely enough, people’s true colors will eventually be revealed, and that fact has been recently demonstrated very clearly (and queerly!) in the aftermath of the Avital Ronell debacle. One has to look no further than “Ms. Queer Theory” herself, Judith Butler, to see the startling (and, yes, ironic) homophobia that is always lurking underneath the guise of “Queer“. This ever-present, underlying homophobia always rears its disgusting head whenever gay men and/or Lesbians assert our boundaries and our rights to our own homosexual lives/names.

It is, for example, quite revealing that Butler chose to defend herqueer” (NOT LESBIAN!!!!) friend/colleague, Avital Ronell, against the proven-true accusations of sexual harassment of a gay man, while questioning the gay man’s motives and character. Although Butler subsequently issued an “apology when she faced the consequences of her own actions, it was too little, too late, too fake, and too self-serving to make a difference.

Heads-Up Homosexuals: “Queers” and all who support Queer Theory rhetoric and the never-ending, increasingly ridiculous “LGBTQQIP2SAA+++++++” acronym are NOT us, they are NOT our friends, and they are NOT our allies. It is WAY past time to get the L out and get the G out, and get back to the basics of focusing on the rights/lives of ACTUAL homosexuals and leave the rest of the acronym to stew in their own toxic juices.

The following are Dirt’s posts regarding the Ronell fiasco and its aftermath:

First post:

How do you defend a Sexual Harasser? Just ask Dr. Judith Butler:

In lieu of a full post at this time (I WILL be posting one), I did none the less want to address a smidge of the absolute nutfuckery going on in academia, particularly Judith Butler’s leap before she looked defense of NYU’s queer (and by queer I mean strangeprof Avital Ronell.

Queer BFFs

In May of this year Judith Butler sent a letter to NYU president and provost, which she had already previously solicited for signatures to hundreds of academics around the globe regarding a sexual harassment case (that at this point unbeknownst to Butler her buddy Avital Ronell had been found guilty).

I leave readers with Judith Butler’s letter in conjunction with some of the many many many many many many many many many (did I say many?) psycho nutfuck statements made by Prof Ronell and related quotes:

Dear President Hamilton and Provost Fleming,

            We write as long-term colleagues of Professor Avital Ronell who has been under investigation by the Title IX offices at New York University.  Although we have no access to the confidential dossier
(Side Note: Because who needs access to pesky facts when we have Prof Ronell’s less than sound mind and flamboyant character as validation?)

we have all worked for many years in close proximity to Professor Ronell and accumulated collectively years of experience to support our view of her capacity as teacher and a scholar, but also as someone who has served as Chair of both the Departments of German and Comparative Literature at New York University.  We have all seen her relationship with students,

 “When I was a graduate student in the NYU German department, both she and ********* tormented students, postdocs, and staff with their narcissistic personality disorders, their choleric fits, and yes, their sexual harassment.” (from Facebook post of former NYU student)

and some of us know the individual who has waged this malicious campaign against her.  We wish to communicate first in the clearest terms our profound an enduring admiration for Professor Ronell whose mentorship of students

 “I now need to tell her I  love her, meet her on weekends for ‘fun’ and  am completely dispossessed of anything that is (or was) my life…” (Reitman re: Ronell)

 has been no less than remarkable over many years. We deplore the damage that this legal proceeding causes her, and seek to register in clear terms our objection to any judgment against her.  We hold that the allegations against her do not constitute actual evidence, 

 “Hi my darling Nimrod, I am a bit weepy and confused, a normal  aftermath I suppose, and also a response to the sepa ration from you …  But I will try to gain some ground with a visit to shrinky – winky and see if I can’t develop another kind of report for you! …So many kisses for my guardian angel.” (Ronell to Reitman)

 but rather support the view that malicious intention has animated and sustained this legal nightmare.

As you know, Professor Ronell has changed the course of German Studies, Comparative Literature, and the field of philosophy and literature over the years of her teaching, writing, and service.  

  “…I was crying when I did not hear back from you. It was a hard  night, but I’m pulling together….” (Ronell to Reitman)

She is responsible for building the field of literary studies at New York University, but also throughout Europe as a result of her brilliant scholarship and spirit of intellectual generosity.  

  “…I forgot to tell you how much and how deeply and how  importantly and how eternally how seriously I love you … I loved our  time together today. It was beautiful, it was gorgeous. It was a  blessing. You ’ re a blessing. And I want  to affirm it and celebrate it and  you and tell you how much you mean to me, how fortunate I feel…”(Ronell to Reitman)

Her students now teach at leading research institutions in the US, France, and Germany, and her intellectual influence is felt 

 My most adored one, dear Nimrod, … When for instance you said the  other day that you felt that we spoke enough, or even a lot, on the  phone, the incommensurateness of my demand began to dawn on me,  and I thought I realized that you were asking that I dial it down. Very  reasonably. … There was a time when you said I had limitless calling  privileges (a lovely fantasy for me, part of internal dream machine,  which I thought I had translated and kept moderate)…” (Ronell to Reitman)

throughout the humanities, including media and technology studies, feminist theory, and comparative literary study.   There is arguably no more important figure in literary studies at New York University than Avital Ronell whose intellectual power 

  “Loving you downtown and all around the town!” (Ronell to Reitman)

and fierce commitment to students 

 My sweet delight, dear Nimrod,  … I miss you strongly! … I will hold  you close to my heart silently, as I once did, and just listen to your  intimate rhythm, heart, heart, your breathing, heart, heart. I liked  when you would drift off and I could lose myself in your soft breathing.  I’m not sure you remember, because, well, you had drifted off. I asked  for those moments to last forever!…” (Ronell to Reitman)

and colleagues has established her as an exemplary intellectual and mentor throughout the academy.  As you know, she is the Jacques Derrida Chair of Philosophy 

Ronell began an affair with Derrida’s son Pierre while she was staying with the family for the Christmas holidays in 1979, when she was 27 and Pierre was 16. They moved in together the following year (after Pierre’s graduation from high school)

at the European Graduate School and she was recently given the award of Chevalier of Arts and Letters by the French government. 
We testify to the grace, 

“Most  cherished…Cock~erspaniel” (Ronell to Reitman)

the keen wit, 

  “I wish I could kidnap you…Baby, let me massage your feet…” (Ronell to Reitman)

 and the intellectual commitment of Professor Ronell 

 Now lets cuddle like cubs” (Ronell to Reitman)

  and ask that she be accorded the dignity rightly deserved by someone of her international standing and reputation. 

“…get your ass back home, darling …I am sorry I ever let you go!” (Ronell to Reitman)

 If she were to be terminated or relieved of her duties, the injustice would be widely recognized and opposed.  The ensuing loss for the humanities, for New York University, and for intellectual life 

 did you find your  phallus?” (Ronell to Reitman)

during these times would be no less than enormous and would rightly invite widespread and intense public scrutiny.   We ask that you approach this material with a clear understanding of the long history of her thoughtful and successive mentorship, 

“My dearest Nimrod, … I am deeply sorry when I fail at distance, at  least sometimes (but not always) and that I suffer your absence with  such inelegance. I hope you can continue to have and hold compassion  and not feel a downturn in our tremendous closeness at all times, … I  simply wanted to talk to you. You had told me that we would do so  quite a lot: I didn’t realize this was  something very hard for me to  calibrate and assimilate…” (Ronell to Reitman)

the singular brilliance of this intellectual, the international reputation she has rightly earned as a stellar scholar in her field, 

 “…didn’t mean to sound desperate. If you need space it’s OK, just tell Me what’s right for you. I can’t figure it out without your help and Insight and prompts!” (Ronell to Reitman)

her enduring commitments to the university, and the illuminated world she has brought to your campus where colleagues and students thrive in her company and under her guidance.  

 “You look gorgeous; Couldn’t keep my eyes off you!” (Ronell to Reitman)

She deserves a fair hearing, one that expresses respect, dignity, and human solicitude in addition to our enduring admiration.”

Conclusion of 11-month Title IX Investigation: Ronell was found by NYU to have physically and verbally sexually harassed Reitman over a sustained period of time. 

Sincerly,

Judith Butler et al

Second post:

Academic Circle Jerk: Judith Butler; Avital Ronell; J Jack Halberstam; Antu Sorainen:

While not the post intended next, due to the un-fucking-believable levels of Homophobia, this is my next post.

In relation to my last post regarding Judith Butler‘s warped love letter to NYU, crusading for the safe return of sexual harasser Avital Ronell, it seems Butler has gone all fickle toward Ronell (mostly because a rightful shitstorm blew her way, as well as Butler realising Ronell’s personal emails/phone calls to Butler regarding the situation, were flat out lies)! That being the case, Butler has issued an apology letter, of sorts (she’s praying for a get-out-of-jail-free-card-she does NOT deserve one!):

 To the Editor:
I can only speak for myself since the signatories of the letter addressed to the NYU administration regarding the sexual harassment charges brought against Avital Ronell are not a group with a single view, and different authors helped to craft the draft version of the letter that appeared online without our consent (“Battle Over Alleged Harassment Escalates as Former Graduate Student Sues Professor and NYU,”The Chronicle, August 16). When the signatories learned that termination of employment for Ronell was under consideration by NYU, we were bewildered by the severity of this possible sanction. We understood she was accused (“We hold that the allegations against her do not constitute actual evidence, but rather support the view that malicious intention”…Butler took a sexual predictor’s word over evidence that existed BUT which she did not possess) of conducting a “romantic friendship” and that her emails had been scrutinized for evidence of a sexual relationship.
Our aim was not to defend her actions — we did not have the case in hand — but to oppose the termination of her employment as a punishment. (Meaning, Butler and crew regardless of Ronell’s academic iniquities didnt/dont believe Ronell should have been harshly punished-a simple writing on the blackboard I was a bad girl ten times would suffice.) Such a punishment seemed unfair given the findings as we understood them. In hindsight, those of us who sought to defend Ronell against termination surely ought to have been more fully informed of the situation if we were going to make an intervention. (Not so loosely translates to Ronell fucking LIED to me about her sexually harassing a Gay man for years!) 

Moreover, the letter was written in haste (ya think?!) and the following are my current regrets about it. First, we ought not to have attributed motives to the complainant, even though some signatories (namely Judith Butler!) had strong views on this matter. The claims of sexual harassment have too often been dismissed by discrediting the complainant, (by people like Butler!) and that nefarious tactic has stopped legitimate claims from going forward and exacerbated the injustice. When and where such a claim proves to be illegitimate, it should be demonstrated on the basis of the evidence alone. (Really? No shit!)

Second, we should not have used language that implied that Ronell’s status and reputation earn her differential treatment of any kind. Status ought to have no bearing on the adjudication of sexual harassment. (Butler makes perfectly clear though, it DOES make a difference!) All faculty should be treated the same under Title IX protocols, that is, subject to the same rules and, where justified, sanctions.
Immediately after the confidential draft letter was published online, I was in direct communication with the MLA officers (the executive director, the president and the first vice president) to apologize (Ass kissing and boot licking, NOT because Butler had regrets BUT because Butler fucked up!) for the listing of my position within the organization after my name. I acknowledged that I should not have allowed the MLA affiliation to go forward with my name. I expressed regret to the MLA officers and staff, and my colleagues accepted my apology. I extend that same apology to MLA members.
We all make errors in life and in work. (The destruction of a person’s career/livelihood before its even begun isnt a fucking simple “error”, its a fucking homophobic travesty!) The task is to acknowledge them, as I hope I have, and to see what they can teach us as we move forward.
Judith Butler
Maxine Elliot Professor in the Department of Comparative Literature and the Program of Critical Theory
University of California at Berkeley

But Butler’s ass-kissing apology letter isn’t solely what this post is about, this post is about the sheer clear homophobia that the Ronell/Reitman injustice is displaying by feminist academics across the globe. (All screencaps below were public at the time of my capping them).

Witness the HOMOPHOBIC Het hissy fit from STRAIGHTBIAN  academic (Professor at Columbia UniversityJudith (jack) Halberstam’s Facebook:

 

Judy, its been made perfectly clear Butler’s ethics are subject to use ONLY when fearing the higher powers that be.

Perloff correctly clarifies Judy’s warped version of events — and crickets. Nobody fucks with MP!

rightfully angry GAY man makes some point blank statements and per usual whenever a Gay man or a Lesbian speak, Het women are there to call him (us) out for being…wait for it…wait for it….MACHO! Wow! That sure told him, they thought, as well as disproved his spot the fuck on points! NOT!

Mr. Hass nails Judith Butler’s motives and actions exactly; victim-blamed-victim-shamed-tried to influence a Title IX investigation!  After Mr. Hass, and his rightful reaction to Homophobia is ignored (by feminists), and his correct summation of events attacked (by feminists) and the truth he states repeatedly are dismissed (by feminists), a by now VERY angry Mr Hass says regarding Butler’s position “fire this homophobic anti-male cunt“. Mr Hass edits out cunt (although personally I wouldn’t have as its a more than adequate term under the circumstance (cunt meaning: Insulting term of address for people who are stupid, irritating or ridiculous”). But of course where feminists of any sort are concerned, Mr. Hass and his correct points are reduced to:

Calling Judith Butler an “anti-male cunt” isn’t the actual definition of misogyny”, and where a college feminist professor fails to distinguish between her own personal (and I might add overemotional) feelings against facts, blatant homophobia and a Gay man’s anger over ignored Homophobia by Het women, Halberstam should also be fired!

But Judy Halberstam’s hissy fit doesn’t stop there, nor stop with Judy Halberstam:

Antu is as Heterosexual and Homophobic as Judy Halberstam and equally incapable of using reason/facts over Het female emotionalism. Antu’s hysterics pinball her from Halberstam/Ronell to that which has absolutely nothing to do with the case at hand (Avital Ronell was found GUILTY of sexual harassment!). Antu prefers to ignore the actual case, the actual information contained in the case and prefers to (when she isn’t too busy) share good links, i.e. Homophobic feminist links that paint Homophobic sexual harassers as saints and Homosexuals as demons! Antu’s ravings spawn from another Judy Halberstam maddened tirades: 

If Halberstam thinks Butler has ethics, I say again, Halbertsam has NO right to teach, period! Halbertsam’s blind allegiance to her own Homophobia and that of Homophobic cunts (people who are stupid, irritating or ridiculous) is proof positive she and anyone who support Homophobia in any form have no business working with the public, at…fucking…all!

Avital Ronell’s sexual harassment of a Gay man AND the reaction by other (mostly) female/feminist academics and the like, have made it perfectly clear just how far Homosexuals, Homosexual rights, Homosexuals right to equality and how accepting Heterosexuals are of (real biological) Homosexuals have come (Spoiler: NOT VERY FAR):

  1. Homosexuals DO NOT MATTER!
  2. Homosexual rights DO NOT MATTER!
  3. Homosexuals personal boundaries DO NOT MATTER!
  4. Homosexual equality DOES NOT MATTER!
  5. Believing the word of a Homosexual over that of a Heterosexual Harasser DOES NOT MATTER!
  6. Homosexual documentation of Heterosexual harassment DOES NOT MATTER!
  7. Homosexual relationships DO NOT merit the same legitimacy as Heterosexual relationships!
  8. The feelings of Homosexuals over that of Heterosexuals DO NOT MATTER!
  9. Homosexuality IS a slum for warped Heterosexual women to lounge, play, feel special and garner a career!
  10. Homosexuals lives, experiences, narratives and shared biology DOES NOT MATTER!

AVITAL RONELL IS NOT A FREAKING LESBIAN

For those of you who have not been reading the news, a Title IX investigation found a NYU female academic named Avital Ronell to be guilty of the sexual harassment of a gay male graduate student.

I won’t rehash the entire sordid scenario here because it has already been beaten to death many times elsewhere. Google it if you want a synopsis or an in-depth analysis.

The one and only point I want to make is this:

AVITAL RONELL IS NOT A FREAKING LESBIAN.

Mainstream media has widely reported variations of “a lesbian was found guilty of sexually harassing a gay male.”

Image 1

This is not rocket science, folks.

Apparently, the writers of articles falsely claiming that Ronell is a lesbian, and anyone who believes them, have the IQ of aioli.

Allow me to break it down for those too damn stupid to understand the very simplest of concepts:

LESBIANS DO NOT SEXUALLY HARASS/ASSAULT MALES. LESBIANS DO NOT STALK MALES. LESBIANS DO NOT WANT/CHASE/DATE/ETC./ETC./ETC. MALES. LESBIANS DO NOT WRITE NOTES TO MALES THAT SAY RIDICULOUS, IDIOTIC DRIVEL LIKE “Most cherished…Cock~erspaniel” (Ewwww).

Once again for those who need a refresher course in Critical Thinking 101, Avital Ronell is NOT a freaking Lesbian.

She is a “queer” (ugh!) Straightbian, a combo of the Academic Straightbian Susie and the Very, Very, Incredibly Special Snowflake Straightbian.

Duh. Geez. FFS. Grow a brain, people. Learn to freaking use your head for more than a hat rack. Please.

You’re welcome.

The Official Straightbian Guide To Becoming A “Lesbian Expert” On Social Media

Attention: Straightbians! Have you ever thought how nice it would be to show the world your “Lesbian expertise”? Would you like to get your slice of the “Lesbian pie” and the attention and adoration of other Straightbians, “feminists”, “gender-critical” individuals, and all other straight people on social media? Hey, if you are lucky, and if you meet what heterosexual society deems as attractive, you too may get the opportunity to write for a popular “Lesbian magazine” or to be a contributor to a popular “Lesbian website”! Wouldn’t that be exciting? If this is everything you have ever dreamed of, never fear, you’ve come to the right place! This handy-dandy guide will take you from an obscure typical straight female to an internationally celebrated “Lesbian expert” quicker than you can spell Straightbian!

You may be wondering how to get started. Yes, it can indeed be a daunting prospect to create a fake persona based on a precarious balance of delusional self-deception and egocentric self-promotion, but hey! If many others do it every single day, you can too! Don’t let little problems like the truth or basic human decency deter you from your life goals! With just a little polishing of your “identity”, you will be ready to bask in your social media presence as a “Lesbian expert” in no time at all!

First, if you aren’t already posing as “a Lesbian”, you will have to “come out as a Lesbian”, but that is no problem at all! But before we jump the tiny hurdle of “coming out”, you will need to decide on the type of “Lesbian” you want to be:

Type A: The Sexy Straightbian: To be this type of Straightbian, all you need to do is to be fluent in the straight-male-fantasy-of-“Lesbian”. Pouty lips? Check! Smoky eyes? Check! Stilettos? Check! Pretty girlfriend? Check! A willingness to take sexy pics of yourself in various revealing poses, such as the ever-popular “doggie skyscraper“, while calling it “Lesbian”? Check check CHECK!

Type B: The Sexless Straightbian: Hate men? Check! #YesAllMen? Check! “Eschew” makeup? Check! Love the work of Sheila Jeffreys? Check! Ready to Smash The Patriarchy? Check check CHECK!

Now that you have selected your type, be sure to build upon it!

If you have selected Type A, feel free to embellish with all the accoutrements of your sexy persona. Take that pole dancing class! Buy a velvet sofa! Visit Victoria’s Secret and splurge on some hot lingerie! Wax those pubes! You’re worth it!

If you have selected Type B, go even deeper into character. Shave one side of your head! Buy some Doc Martens! Rip those Levi’s! Read some Andrea Dworkin! “Eschew” shaving! Call yourself “Butch”! Why not? The “Lesbian” world is your oyster, so get ready to suck it dry!

The deeper you go into your “Lesbian” character, the more you can profit, so go for it! Give it Hell, ladies! Meryl Streep herself couldn’t sell it like you can! Believe in yourself!

Okay, now that your Straightbian persona is sorted, now you can move on to “coming out”! How? Simple! Just say “I’m a Lesbian”! Other Straightbians, “feminists”, “gender-critical” individuals, and all other straight people will automatically believe you! Boom! Done!

Now, proceed to bombard social media with your “Lesbian life”. Aggressively follow and support other Straightbians ad nauseum. Building a “Lesbian community” is essential to your success as a Straightbian! Make sure to include numerous pics of yourself with another female, because that will be “proof-positive” of your “identity” as a “Lesbian”!

Take some time to review your social media friends’ tweets/posts/pics/hashtags/videos/etc. and proceed to copy them enthusiastically! Don’t worry that you don’t know what you are talking about! Nobody will notice, since they are all saying the same thing! Groupthink is your best friend! Rinse and repeat until “Lesbian” fame and fortune are yours!

No guide would be complete without a few words of caution. Beware of real Lesbians who may try to rain on your Straightbian parade. Current estimates of the number of these Lesbian “bullies” range from “a couple” to “a mob”. Regardless, should you encounter one of these annoying naysayers, simply repeatedly claim that you ARE a “Lesbian” BECAUSE YOU SAY SO. If necessary, make numerous sock-puppet accounts to support yourself in your own arguments! Call upon your Straightbian “sisters” to jump in and support you too! There is strength in numbers, and rest assured that Straightbians will always way outnumber real Lesbians! Don’t worry that you have no idea what it really means to be a Lesbian! Remain firm in your conviction that it is your right…indeed, it is your privilege…to claim “lesbianism” for yourself! When an argument with a real Lesbian gets heated, always be sure to mention “rape culture”, “racism”, “sexism”, “The Patriarchy”, and/or “misogyny”! That always works to derail a conversation! Don’t worry that what you are saying is completely irrelevant to the discussion! Most importantly, always make sure to call your Lesbian opponents “male” and to insult their appearance! Finally, be sure to report them to social media for “bullying” and encourage other Straightbians to do so also. All that is important in these senseless battles is for you to emerge with your “Lesbian” “identity” fully intact amongst your target group.

In summary, with just a few simple steps, you too will be well on your way to firmly establishing your Straightbian social media empire as a “Lesbian expert”. Go you! Feel good about yourself as you bask in the fragile glory of internet presence. Your past days of ennui and angst are but a distant memory. You are the very Straightbian image of “Lesbian” personified now…let’s hear you roar!