Do Dirt and I Hate Straight Women?

Since Dirt and I have been speaking out about how Lesbians are different than straight women and how straight females (even alleged “allies“) and Straightbians harm Lesbians, we have received a lot of feedback which typically boils down to: “Be nice! We need to support our straight sisters! You HATE straight women! Etc.

In fact, I recently accidentally noticed someone on Twitter subtweeting “She (Dirt) hates straight women”. I already addressed it directly with that person, but the incident made me realize that some people seem to actually think that, so I felt I needed to do a specific post on it.

So, here’s the official answer:

NO, DIRT AND I DO NOT HATE STRAIGHT WOMEN.

(Sighing loudly).

NoHate

Image: Pixabay CC0 Public Domain

Pointing out that there are actual differences between straight females and Lesbians beyond who we f**k does NOT equal “hate”.

Pointing out that Lesbians have been harmed in numerous ways by Straightbians and even straight allies does NOT equal “hate”.

Look, if Dirt and I actually hated straight females, we’d just SAY it. It’s not like we are known for mincing words, is it? 

Falsely claiming that what we are saying equals “hate” is a typical but transparent way to try to dismiss what we are actually saying and to attempt to alienate people from us.

Both Dirt and I have many straight female friends, relatives, and coworkers who we get along with just fine, thank you very much.

The key factor in being able to keep these relationships is the fact that NONE of these women who we consider to be friends/family are pretending to be Lesbian, speaking for Lesbians, lying about Lesbians, appropriating Lesbian, profiting from Lesbians, or in any other way harming Lesbians.

Because if they were doing any of that, we would NOT remain friends with them.

Our true friends stay in their lane, and we stay in our lane. They don’t tell us what it’s like to be a Lesbian, and we don’t tell them what it’s like to be straight.

It’s really simple, Sherlock:

Standing up for ourselves and for Lesbian lives/rights is NOT “hate” nor is it inappropriate in any way. What is actually wrong is when straight women attempt to hetsplain Lesbian to actual Lesbians while refusing to listen to us.

Bottom line: Dirt and I do NOT hate straight females, but we do, in fact, hate what is often done to Lesbians by straight females. There’s a large difference between the two, and it would behoove our detractors to learn what that difference is.

“How Very Dare You?” (How Hets Respond To Lesbians)

Amidst all of the general nonsense Dirt and I deal with on a daily basis, a recent recurrent theme I have noticed in many argumentative comments and tweets to us is:

HOW DARE WE?

How dare we speak about/as Lesbians?

How dare we say that any woman cannot magically “become a Lesbian”?

How dare we say that words like “Lesbian”, “Butch”, “Femme” etc. have actual meaning and should be used correctly?

How dare we imply that we are “experts” of any sort?

How dare we say that many are falsely calling themselves “Lesbian”?

How dare we challenge the currently in-vogue idea that everything is all about “identity”: the idea that if you simply “identify as” ________(fill in the blank: Lesbian; Butch; Femme; Hippopotamus; Whatever) you ARE ___________?

The list goes on and on and on, but I think you get the basic idea, which boils down to “How very dare you?”

I recently replied that there are about 3,468,576,823,845 STRAIGHT blogs, books, articles, TV shows, magazines, etc.; yet NOBODY ever comments such things to them: Who are YOU to talk about being straight? What would YOU know? What gives YOU the right to talk about straight people/relationships? How would YOU know about being straight? Who are YOU to say who is straight? Etc.

Nope, that never happens, and I will tell you why. Because nobody questions “straight”. First of all, straights are the HUGE majority. Secondly, straight is pretty…well…straightforward: Nobody has hijacked “straight” like “Lesbian” has been hijacked repeatedly. Nobody is falsely speaking for all straight people, implying that they are all perverts and weirdos or that it’s all “just a choice” or any other such idiocy.

Even when a Lesbian comes out later in life, she didn’t hijack straight out of privilege; in fact, it’s the opposite: she felt she had to pretend to be straight in order to please family, society, or church. She got hijacked BY straight.

Think about it: For a straight person to even question our right to speak out as/regarding Lesbians smacks of privilege.

Let me be clear: While straight people are always very welcome to read our blogs and to comment, and while we still sincerely hope that some straight people will be capable of seeing the light, Dirt and I are not writing for straight people. We hope that some straight people will understand, but we don’t actually expect them to.

Instead, we are writing to Lesbians. And we are writing as Lesbians.

We not only have the right to do so, we have the duty. 

Attention: straights and Straightbians: We DO dare.  And all your arguing, snarkiness, denial, rudeness, subtweeting, and straight privilege in the universe won’t stop us.

In summary: Suck it up, buttercup(s), because we’re not going away.

Buttercup

Image: Pixabay: CC0 Public Domain

Butches, Stripping, and Straightbians…Oh My

For a couple of days now, I have been in a series of heated debates regarding the question of whether Butches would ever be strippers. (Answer: Not just no, but HELL NO).

In response to my statement that the probability of a Butch stripping would be approximately a snowball’s chance in Hell, I received this flippant tweet, presumably to “prove” that Butches do strip:

img_0182

Problem is: The woman depicted here is most certainly NOT Butch, and most likely, she’s not even ANY sort of Lesbian either. This tweeter, along with a plethora of others, incorrectly assume that if any woman cuts her hair short and dons a suit (or any other so-called “male attire”) and simply makes the claim she is Butch, she is magically (POOF!) suddenly Butch.

But it doesn’t work that way. Not even close. Butches are born, not made.  Butch is NOT a performance, a costume, a political stance, or an act, and it is majorly offensive when people appropriate and misrepresent Lesbian lives.

A true Butch would NEVER strip. She would literally die first, and that is NOT an exaggeration.

What gives me the right to make such a broad claim, you ask? Because I am a Femme Lesbian. Because I am married to a Butch, and have known other Butches. Because I have been in the Lesbian community for many, many years now, and have seen so many dykes & Straightbians call themselves Butch when they clearly weren’t. Because I happen to have a lot more knowledge about this topic that most people.

(Yes, I said it, I mean it, and I don’t care if you mistakenly think that is arrogant, because, yes, I do, in fact, know more about this topic than most people).

Anyway, I won’t bore you with giving you a play-by-play of every argumentative hetsplaining tweet or every Straightbian arguing with Lesbians about OUR OWN LIVES. It would take a dissertation to just explain the last couple of days.

But let’s examine one striking example of the sort of ignorance and attitude real Lesbians have to put up with:

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Let’s examine this snippet. Seemingly out-of-the-blue, a relatively new “feminist” account with 14 followers at the time and a handful of tweets crawls out of some hole to randomly bust my chops?

Hmmmm…it seems likely that this is a familiar troll in a new disguise, but regardless of this person’s true identity, automatically jumping to a racial connotation when race was not even mentioned is an incredibly transparent attempt to derail the actual point (“Butches don’t strip…period.”) by implying I am somehow inexplicably being racist by talking about a Lesbian issue.

Obviously, that idiotic crap doesn’t work with me. “Stick to the topic or shut up” is my motto.

(And, no, there are not any Butches of any race stripping for a living, now or ever).

Moving on to the next ridiculous assertion from our wannabe know-it-all:

Image 4

Okay, so calling me a racist didn’t work, so what does this buffoon do now? Hmmm…Oh, I know, let’s bring RAPE into it! THAT always derails the discussion!

This “rape culture” statement is completely off-topic and makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, so, again, this is an obvious attempt to discredit what we are saying by twisting what we are actually saying to try to make it mean something completely unrecognizable.

This is actually a very common Straightbianfeministploy:

If you have no argument and/or simply don’t understand the topic, it’s time to bring up any of the following to try to derail the conversation:

  • Rape or Rape Culture
  • The Patriarchy
  • The “Trans Cult”
  • Racism
  • Sexism
  • Any other “ism”
  • Discrimination
  • Violence Against Women
  • MRAs
  • Men in dresses “forcing”/”coercing” Lesbians to have sex with them (Not happening)

Well, those tactics may work with some people, but they are certainly not going to work with me or Dirt.

Again, the topic at hand was simple: Butch Lesbians and stripping. This topic has nothing to do with racism, rape, etc.

Back to the point: Do Butches strip?

And the final answer is: Butch Lesbians would never strip, regardless of race, age, audience, era, or circumstance.

The end.

Dear Straight Women: Lesbians Aren’t Your Bitches

Earlier today, Dirt and I came across this objectionable article on Facebook, ironically posted on a site called lesbianpride.org.

This article purports that “Ruby Rose’s Sexiness Is Apparently Turning Straight Women Into Lesbians“, and as any readers of ours already knows, we call BULLSHIT on that one. Nobody can “turn into a Lesbian”; you either are one, or you’re not.

I won’t belabor that point again, however, since we both have addressed it multiple times on both of our blogs.

The main point I want to make in regard to this article and the widespread assumption that Lesbians should be flattered by straight females’ attention is to give all of the straight women who think that Lesbians are your consolation prize a very clear message:

Go to Hell. 

Lesbians deserve someone who will love us for exactly who we are, which a straight woman will NEVER be able to do because orientation doesn’t change.

We deserve better.

Lesbians, do NOT settle for anything less than Lesbian.

And, here is a joint post with Dirt on this topic, originally posted here:

While this post is prompted by this particular article, it is by no means an isolated incident, nor an incident particular to media status.

I find it interesting that when a group of men say a Woman is fuckable, they are deemed to be objectifying, sexist pigs — but a straight Woman declares a Dyke bangable (and by bangable, in (Het) Woman terms, means she’d let said lezzie lick her pussy, because, of course, that’s all Lesbians do/want to do sexually, right?) and Lesbians everywhere are supposed to be fucking grateful!!!

Lesbians do not require (Het) Women to tell us we are attractive, fuckable, hot, sexy, or anyfuckingthing!

Dear (Het) Women,

  • Lesbians do NOT want your bored-with-men desires;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your potential het diseases;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your dick breath/dick germs;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your emotional histrionics;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your petty heterocentric materialistic BS;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your woman-born-woman/woman-identified-woman wantonness;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your one-sided, half-assed, pillow-princess pity fucks while you are waiting to catch the next dickmobile STRAIGHT back to Hetsville;
  • Lesbians do NOT want your backstabbing compliments/thinly veiled insults as to how we are so much like a man;

In summary, (Het) Women……Lesbians do NOT want YOU!

Sincerely–Lesbians!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Lesbians,

We know it may SEEM flattering when (Het) Women say we are fuckable. Lesbians, including ourselves, are starving for depictions of ourselves on TV, movies, books, and media. We know what it is like to scarf up any pitiful scrap that is thrown our way. We know how frustrating it is to never be truly seen by society and to never truly see ourselves being accurately represented…ANYFUCKINGWHERE!

But it is NOT a compliment to be deemed fuckable by a (Het) Woman. Sure, a (Het) Woman might fuck you (or, more accurately, get fucked BY you), but rest assured, she will also fuck you over. And when she is done with her little experiment (i.e., YOU), she will be sucking dick before sundown.

We deserve better.

Lesbians, do NOT settle for anything less than Lesbian.

Love,

dirt & Mrs. Dirt

The Chicago Dyke March Badly Needs A New Name 

Some idiots calling themselves “Chicago Dyke March” on Twitter proved that they are most certainly NOT Lesbians/Dykes with many tweets, but this one tweet in particular stood out among the general ignorance:


First of all, if you are calling yourself a “dyke march” you are, in fact, talking about (and for) Lesbians…um, duh.

Secondly, this SHOULD go without saying, but since basic facts obviously escape the notice of these buffoons, allow me to spell it out:

LESBIANS DO NOT WANT DICK.

AND:

LESBIANS DO NOT HAVE DICKS.

Perhaps it would be beneficial for these bozos to invest in a dictionary, or, at the very least, learn how to Google definitions, because their cluelessness is astonishing.

The VERY-inappropriately-named “Chicago Dyke March” only needs one simple tweak to rename themselves accurately.

In fact, since they obviously struggle with basic comprehension, I have a suggestion for their new name:

Chicago DICK March

You’re welcome.

“Straight” To The Point

Over the last several days, Dirt and I have been arguing with straight female “allies” on Twitter over the premise that Lesbians are different.

To make a long story short, not 1, not 2, not 3, but a whole coterie of straight females have tag-teamed us, alternating between telling us to “be nice to our allies“; completely dismissing us; twisting whatever we say; bringing up unrelated topics/issues to try to derail/confuse the discussion; making analogies that make absolutely no sense whatsoever; acting like we are saying something we are not, then being offended by their own incorrect assumptions; trying to make us seem mean/bad/rude/etc.; name-calling; subtweeting; and usually, finally blocking us. Just when one wave disappears into the horizon, a new wave appears. Rinse and repeat.

Here’s the thing: It takes an astonishing amount of straight privilege to argue with Lesbians about OUR OWN LIVES.

These straight women do not know what it is like to be a Lesbian; but much more importantly, their actions of arguing with us ad nauseum proves that they don’t CARE.

I don’t know what it is like to be a man, or a Black person, but you don’t see me telling men or Black people how they “should” feel or denying or arguing with what they say about THEIR OWN EXPERIENCES.

Yet, that is precisely what these straight women are doing. Instead of listening to what we are actually saying about our own Lesbian experience/lives, they are actively attempting to silence us, shame us, twist our words, deny our experiences, and discredit us.

Why? There are likely a number of reasons, depending on the person, including, but not limited to: ignorance, arrogance, straight privilege, fear, reacting with emotion instead of logic, faulty preconceived notions, wanting to keep the incorrect notion alive that “any woman can be a Lesbian”, comprehension difficulties, not wanting to listen, misdirected anger, etc.

Whatever the reason(s), their behavior is completely unacceptable. 

Whether or not people agree with us, Lesbians deserve the same respect and courtesy straight people expect (and routinely get).

People, especially those who purport to be “Lesbian allies, should actually BE allies by listening rather than talking; caring rather than dismissing; remaining open rather than blocking.

And if you fruitcakes cannot do that, you are NOT an ally.

AND you can kindly fuck off.

(Please also read Dirt’s post on the same topic, here).

Image 1

Image: Pixabay: varintorn: CC0 Public Domain

Just Because Something Is Called “Lesbian” Does Not Mean It Is Actually Lesbian

I recently got my knickers in a twist on Twitter when I saw this link to a (so-called) “Lesbian” (NOT!) Oral Testimony website.

You may be asking yourself why I would be so displeased with something that seems to support Lesbians…

Well, the answer is quite simple:

Because I am incredibly sick of our name being used willy-nilly, without the slightest concern for truth, accuracy, or ethics.

Anything that has “Lesbian” as part of their main title should be…hold onto your shorts and get ready for this wild ‘n’ crazy idea…LESBIAN!! 

And this website is a lot of things, but none of them are truly LESBIAN:

Even though the word “Lesbian” is thrown in as an afterthought at best, I am willing to go out on a limb here and wager that these alleged “Lesbians” giving oral testimony aren’t actually Lesbians after all, but rather, they are most likely the dreaded Straightbians who Dirt and I have been writing about.

Personally, I don’t care if all the two-spirit pansexual aromantic non-binary queers who “identify” as the attention-getter-du-jour want to yack it up until the cows come home. Have at it, and have fun being “special”.

BUT DON’T CALL IT “LESBIAN” BECAUSE IT IS NOT.

06/09/2017: EDITED TO ADD: Even the most cursory of searches revealed a lot of MEN being interviewed for a purported LESBIAN website. Sigh. I truly wished I was wrong about this, but clearly I am not.

LotOfMen

Bottom line: This project needs another title to accurately reflect their content. Here are my top 3 suggestions:

Oral History of Every Special Snowflake Available (OHESSA)

Listening Intently To Everybody But Actual Lesbians (LITEBAL)

I Am An Academic With Funding So I Am Making A Faux Lesbian Website: Please Send Cash Now (IAAAWFSIAMAFLWPSCN)