What Straightbians Think “Butch” Means And How They Are Wrong

A very smart friend, Genuine Femme, recently commented on Twitter:

Butch to Straightbians is a term with no meaning beyond fashion choice. And they even get that wrong too!

This quote completely sums up a huge problem with the ongoing bastardization of the meaning of Butch and explains a great deal of the confusion and conflict that Dirt, I, Genuine Femme, and other (REAL) Lesbians experience in trying to reclaim the actual meanings of words from the lying, twisted, claw-like talons of Straightbians.

Here is what Straightbians incorrectly think Butch is:

ANY female (who may be a Lesbian, but quite often is another Straightbian) who does any/all of the following:

  • Cuts her hair short or shaves her head or has a mohawk or has dreadlocks, etc.;
  • Has a copious amount of tattoos and/or piercings and/or body modifications and/or rainbow-colored hair;
  • Wears so-called “men’s” clothes (or even so-called “women’s” clothes that are stereotypically perceived to be “non-feminine”), including, but not limited to, any or all of the following: suits, ties, bow ties, ball caps, trousers, suspenders, Doc Martens, jeans, boxers, vests, cargo pants, leather, etc.;
  • Simply (but incorrectly) calls herself “Butch”;
  • Calls herself “gender nonconforming”, “gender defiant”, “gender deviant”, “gender diverse”, “genderqueer”, non-binary”, or any other such offensive terms;
  • Incorrectly playacts “Butch” using her own uninformed preconceived notions of “Butch” via her version “acting like a man” (because “male-wannabe” is what she stupidly THINKS “Butch” is!), including, but not limited to, any or all of the following: being hypersexual, typically in a “top”/”Daddy” (ewww!!) sort of way; being domineering or overbearing; swaggering embarrassingly around like Barney Fife on steroids; packing; being sexist (treating her Straightbian like “the little woman” in the relationship); etc.;
  • Eschews femininity” (which is a ridiculous and untrue radfem notion; remember that REAL Lesbians do NOT “eschew feminity”).

The above misconceptions explain how Straightbians (many of whom often incorrectly call themselves “Femmes“) state (with the completely misplaced confidence of the completely ignorant) that “Butches strip” and other such nonsensical, inane claims.

Once again for the numerous seemingly slow-witted Straightbians/others who are perpetuating and/or believing such ridiculousness: 

Many people ask why we continue to insist on calling out the numerous shocking inaccuracies about Butch, Femme, and Lesbian in general. We continue because words have meaning, and the truth matters.

If you find yourself feeling threatened by what we are saying, it’s time to stop and ask yourself why.

Perhaps you already know deep-down, underneath all of your rationalizations and layers of denial, that the life you are living is ONE BIG FAT LIE.

It’s time to face YOUR own demons instead of making demons out of us!

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Sex and the STRAIGHTBIAN (Part 2): The Passion is Perversion

Note: Another joint post with Dirt, originally posted here.

The flip side of the frigid/anti-sex/passion is political/eschewing sex and femininity STRAIGHTBIANS are the STRAIGHTBIANS who embrace sex with both arms and every orifice, LOVE and sex sex sex, try anything once (or twice!) sex Het women.

In years past these STRAIGHTBIANS were on the opposite side of Radical Feminism; their feminist liberation was to be found, not in squatting over a mirror looking at their vaginas, BUT in using their vaginas to find power! They convinced themselves that through sadomasochism, where they could explore/control sexual proclivities (some of which were) derived from child sexual abuse, they could find the power robbed of them as girls/women.

Depending on if sexual abuse was suffered as a child, how long it occurred, how it was dealt with or ignored and natural temperament, determined each STRAIGHTBIAN’s role in BDSM. For some STRAIGHTBIANS that role may be as the submissive (many will co-opt (High/Femme/Bottom/Baby/Girl to imply that) for others that role will be as the dominant (many will co-opt Top/Butch/Daddy to imply that), and still others will play at a Daddy/boi/boy sex-play. A number of STRAIGHTBIANS who gravitate toward the dominant roles have/will also transition. This STRAIGHTBIAN type’s pathology on cross sex hormones will often increase their warped sexual appetites as well as their sadism during sex scenes. This STRAIGHTBIAN type, despite the sheer fear and powerlessness they felt as sexually abused girls, first identify with and later become (through transition/hormones) the all powerful abuser of their (mostly) willing equally disturbed partners.  Some of these dominant STRAIGHTBIANS will even lobby for less strict laws around child/adult sexual relations aka Pedophilia. Aside, many dominant STRAIGHTBIANS will have had at some point/s identified as gay men, most will have been/are Fag Hags, including having sex with Gay men.

Some of the more mentally damaged STRAIGHTBIANS in this group will even act out (repeatedly) sexual abuses done to them as a child; one partner will role-play being a baby girl while the other partner pretends to be the Daddy who then sexually abuses his/her baby girl. Both parties derive their own warped feelings of power during these bizarre scenes. Power, by being the person holding the safe word which can stop everything on utterance, and the other feeling power/full by taking power over the other and having the power to bring the other to sexual heights/climax/es; exchanges that both parties tightly wrap in a yarn of believed ultimate/superior intimacy and trust. But the intimacy/trust are nothing more than a mutually shared delusion that can quickly unravel at the slightest fray.

As neither party is actually Lesbian, these particular STRAIGHTBIANS fetishize “lesbian sex” (sex between females) through their own Heterosexuality/Het norms. 

Many STRAIGHTBIANS in this group for varying reasons are hypersexual, and sex will figure some way in nearly all aspects of their life. They will join or forge self created careers in some aspect of the sex industry. They may be sex educators/experts, strippers, prostitutes, sex facilitators/consultants, burlesque performers; they may make lesbian porn videos/photo shoots etc. Most of these STRAIGHTBIAN types will have a sexual pathology, but even those where this is absent, because none are Lesbians, ALL have a pathological need/drive to sexualize themselves with a female partner/s. Lesbian to ALL STRAIGHTBIANS must involve another female, but particularly for this type.

Without sex or even the idea of sex between two females, these STRAIGHTBIANS disappear. Therefore, fetishizing lesbian is not only a product of their pathology, it is at the root of their self. Like Transgender self-hood, these STRAIGHTBIANS rely on constant external validation/reinforcement, even if that is nothing more than personal photos of themselves/their female partner kissing/touching/sexing etc. Many will exhibit public displays of affection bordering on the sexual, they don’t simply WANT the public to look, they NEED the public to look. They NEED lesbian approval, even from strangers, be that at a restaurant while having dinner or on Social Media.

Unlike actual Lesbians (who do not require external validation to tell us who we are), lesbian approval for this STRAIGHTBIAN type isn’t approval for being a Lesbian. These STRAIGHTBIANS require approval for behaviour they FEEL to be Lesbian (via their Heterosexuality), feelings they need to strengthen their foothold of THEIR thin grip on Lesbian IDENTITY. This tenuous grip being so fragile, even if they have 1 naysayer among a 1000, they may mentally/emotionally implode! Even demanding validation and/or vilifying naysayers through conferences/sex wars/Social Media battles/books/articles published/tickets sold etc that they ARE Lesbian! As an aside, many of these types will have romantic/sexual photos of themselves around their home with a former/current partner; a daily reminder that these girl-on-girl visuals MAKE them lesbian

Past Straightbians in this group fancied themselves on being sexual outlaws/sexual renegades, turning sexual mores on their heads; queering lesbian  through stealing Gay male cultural norms/tropes to wet their warped sexual perversions in one hand and lining their pockets through theorizing lesbian as the ultimate subversive act in the other. This Past STRAIGHTBIAN group believed/preached that through the bondage of ropes and chains (het) women could FREE themselves from the shackles of Patriarchy.

Today’s version of this STRAIGHTBIAN type merely mimics the straight male’s wet dreams lining the shelves of porn hubs everywhere. This STRAIGHTBIAN version preens, prances, pouts and performs lesbian per Patriarchy’s fantasies; their lips never speak of Liberation, only licking pussy. This group doesn’t even have the mental wherewithal to look beyond what they see everyday: HeteroSEXuality. Somewhere between IQ and the internet, today’s STRAIGHTBIANS lazily believe that by performing Het male lesbian cliches for global attention/identity reinforcements that they are subverting social norms! These STRAIGHTBIANS spend less time trying to smash the Patriarchy and more time bending over for it! They tell themselves their sexual displays are personal, but their copious “look at us, look at us, look at us!” cinches their narcissism that is ALWAYS looking for a looker.

But both types, past and present, can only occupy lesbian through male tropes (gay or straight). Meaning: even the ways in which they suspend their Heterosexuality, IS Heterosexual!

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt

Sex and the STRAIGHTBIAN (Part 1) The Passion Is Political

Note: This is another joint post with Dirt, originally posted here.

We are closing this year out with a series of posts we’ve been asked by many Lesbians to write, and which we feel will be informative for the unSTRAIGHTening Lesbian series.

We haven’t written a great deal on STRAIGHTBIANS and sex, but where mentioned we have focused primarily on RadFem STRAIGHTBIANS whom (for varying reasons) eschew sex with men, an,  more often than not, eschew sex…period.

If you took a Women’s Studies course or such, you will recall the great “lesbian sex wars” back in the late 70’s/early 80’s, those erring on the side of the anti-sex group consisted primarily of staunch RadFems. Het women who routinely patrolled other women’s sexuality/sexual behaviours, quickly ousting dirty RadFems who preferred penetration to pussy licking or the preferable platonic love. But human nature being human nature, there are new generations of Het women who continue to fall into that RadFem anti-sex category. And depending on sexual abuses/temperament/dominant handedness/emotional baggage/education/politics etc. a percentage of those Het women will seek out to date/partner with other (mostly Het) females.

These Het women will claim Lesbian, define Lesbian, publish books/articles as Lesbians/about Lesbian issues, and be professionally known as Lesbians, all the while being/thinking/functioning Heterosexual. They may don a short ‘do, sport sensible shoes, and own a flannel shirt or two or three, an acceptable “lesbian” outfit that they believe says don’t look at me, look at what I do. An outfit defined/created by RadFems before them, serving the same purpose.

These STRAIGHTBIANS usually do not know nor associate with actual Lesbians, and when they encounter us, they quickly snub us. They believe they are intellectually superior to Lesbians (they believe they are gifted academics and perceive actual Lesbians to be Blue Collar/beneath them socially/morally/intellectually and therefore dismiss/despise any Dyke who dares to question THEIR hetsplained version of lesbian). These RadFem STRAIGHTBIANS also incorrectly perceive themselves to be ideologically/politically superior/cognizant to actual Lesbians (they CHOSE to be womyn centered and would not dare debase/objectify womyn with sex/sexual thoughts, which they believe is similar to the dreaded Male Gaze holding less fortunate females hostage everywhere).

These types of STRAIGHTBIANS chant, preach, and promote the personal IS political, yet their entire political system springs from their own personal damaged pathology. A pathology not just rooted in the Heterosexual, it IS Heterosexual! BUT a Heterosexuality (at least where relations with males are concerned) THEY do not want! Unlike most Het females who naturally feel quite passionate (including romantic sometimes) with Het females in their lives, these STRAIGHTBIANS take these feelings to a whole other level, wrapping their pathology and warped political theories into romance with another female. Because their self proclaimed political reasons for their female romances usually dominate their lesbian relationships, sex usually takes a backseat or worse, the trunk (for you Brits-it gets put in the boot of the car). Attraction for these STRAIGHTBIANS is an attraction to the other person’s politics, rather than raw passion itself. The passion is political, not the personal and depending on each Het woman’s politics, that joint political may last years, decades or till death. BUT it isn’t LESBIAN!

RadFems past who fit this category and who fit it today can usually be found bitching/moaning (usually ineffectually) about porn, prostitution, abortion rights, and identity politics. Instead of having healthy relationships/friendships with men, since they “CHOOSE to be lesbians” for the good of womankind (yeah, right…), they find other ways of having passionate relationships with men, via fighting with them. In the past these RadFem STRAIGHTBIANS lobbied against pimps, porn moguls, and politicians, today these fervent feminist fracases take place all over Social Media, much to the same result as RadFem’s past-nought.

For STRAIGHTBIANS like this, sex is sublimated for politics.

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt

Twitter Is A Cesspool and I Am Tired Of Swimming In Excrement

No, this isn’t one of those “I’m leaving Twitter!” posts that are springing up everywhere lately.

I am not leaving Twitter (at least not at this point), but I am dramatically changing my own feelings about, behavior on, and relationship with Twitter.

A well-known (but infrequently followed) principle is that “You can’t change other people. You can only change yourself.” (After a brief search, I could not find the original source of this idea easily, but it’s darn good advice anyway).

Well, the same principle applies to myself and Twitter: I can’t change Twitter (nor the people on Twitter), but I can certainly change my relationship with Twitter (and the people on Twitter).

The main reason I am changing my interactions on Twitter is because I realized that I was letting all of the stress and drama suck up too much of my time, to the point of derailing me from my primary purpose, which is: to write to other Lesbians and about being a Lesbian.

I don’t need, nor even want, the approval of all of the Straightbians who are personally invested in the nonsensical and lesbophobic rhetoric that “any woman can become a Lesbian” nor the hetsplaining gender critical types who call us insulting terms like “gender non-conforming” while pretending to be supportive.

Also, as I have written about before, I truly think that Twitter somehow often brings out the very worst in people, myself included. The fast-paced, free-for-all Twitter environment, in combination with tons of strangers attempting to discuss complex, usually emotionally-charged, topics using limited characters and disjointed threads, frequently results in a frenzy of anger, insults, incoherence, rudeness, misunderstandings, etc.

That sad situation has always been the case, and has made me very wary of Twitter…but that’s not entirely what has precipitated my decision to change my relationship with Twitter.

Recently, I have become increasingly aware of a much more sinister trend on Twitter; one that Twitter is apparently quite fine with, by the way:

Someone (anyone!) can get angry at you, but instead of confronting you directly and dealing with that anger in a rational fashion, that person instead blocks you so you cannot see what they are saying (well, at least theoretically, anyway); then makes up and spreads utter defamatory lies about you, knowing you cannot reply to defend yourself; while encouraging/supporting others to do the same.

Of course, this behavior is certainly NOT limited to Twitter or even to social media in general. Stereotypical “mean girls”, in particular, have used lies, defamation, and exclusion as a tactic, probably since the dawn of humankind. But the advent of social media, particularly in a public situation such as Twitter, has magnified the damage that such sorry behavior can cause.

As you can probably guess, the reason I am writing this post is because this sordid scenario recently happened to myself and my wife, Dirt.

These lies include, but are not limited to:

  • One or both of us are purportedly actually males — and they reportedly have proof “on good authority”. (A+ for creativity, folks; but that’s a big fat F for basic research skills, truth, intelligence, reasoning, and logic).
  • We have allegedly stalked, harassed, and/or bullied these accusers on Twitter, “despite being blocked.” (Not only did this never happen, but anyone saying this clearly doesn’t know how Twitter works and sadly isn’t smart enough to find out before lying).
  • A “mob” of us (a couple is a “mob” now?) reportedly “attacked” one of these liars on “both Twitter and Facebook” “12 months ago”. (I’ve never even interacted with this particular lying accuser at all; furthermore, both of our Facebook accounts are private for family and friends only; and we very rarely even comment outside our own circle on FB. In other words…complete and utter bullshit).

Actually, such ridiculousness is probably still happening, but I am attempting to ignore it and to systematically block anyone who likes, retweets, comments, supports, follows, etc. the main perpetrator and her mean-girl posse.

The “old” me would have done a post about it, complete with screencaps of the actual lies with my (usually snarky) responses to refute the lies. I am keeping all of the screencaps, in case I need them in the future, but (at this point) I don’t plan on doing a post about it, nor do I plan to continue trying to defend myself here, on Twitter, or elsewhere.

Why?

The answer is simple: Because the lies being told about us are so ludicrous that anyone with an internet connection, rudimentary research skills, basic reading comprehension skills, a sufficient IQ, and even a modicum of logic/fairness could very quickly ascertain that what is being said about me and Dirt is completely untrue. Ergo, the liars and their sycophants are ALL revealing that their meanness and pettiness FAR outweigh their intelligence and common human decency.

Dirt’s and my true (Lesbian/female) identities have been revealed (long ago!), and both of our blogs plus our Twitter accounts are public, so everyone is welcome to do their own research to determine the veracity of the allegations.

In other words, anyone who is jumping on the BS bandwagon (either by simply blindly believing outright lies, or, even worse, contributing with additional lies) is not someone who I would want in my life anyway, even tangentially.

And everyone who continues to follow/support anyone who has said clearly mean-spirited, untrue, defamatory, insulting, hideous, and/or lesbophobic garbage about myself, Dirt, any of our friends, and/or Lesbians in general will be promptly blocked whenever I come across them.

Ditto for people who stand silently by and watch such debacles happen, while pretending to be supportive of us in private.

This is not a simple case of a “misunderstanding”; this is not even a case of an “argument” gone wrong.

No, this is a situation that involves outright lies of a defamatory nature; it’s a targeted attack designed to harass, insult, ostracize, discredit, defame, and harm myself and my wife.

And that is not okay by any stretch of the imagination. in any circumstance. Anyone with even the slightest iota of common decency would realize that, regardless of what you think about myself and/or Dirt…even if you HATE us:

It’s not okay to lie. It’s not okay to encourage others to attack; block; report; harass; defame; lie about (etc.) us (or anyone else, for that matter) based on such garbage.

And it’s also certainly not okay to insult our (or others’) physical appearances either. It’s not witty, it’s not decent, it’s not mature, it’s not smart, it’s not kind, and it’s most certainly NOT feminist. 

Do better. 

Even kindergarten students know that behavior is wrong.

You know that behavior is wrong.

Karma knows that behavior is wrong.

Both Dirt and I are resilient adults, and we are secure enough with ourselves to withstand such insults/lies (although, admittedly, it is certainly not pleasant to have to do so).

But: What if we weren’t resilient? What if we were young Lesbians, peer-pressured into believing the lies that we, as Lesbians, are “really men”? What if we were insecure, isolated, depressed, lonely, confused, and/or rejected by our families/communities for being Lesbians (as many Lesbians are)? What then? How would such a young Lesbian respond to the kind of bitter, venomous meanness and vile lies that we have been subjected to on Twitter?

Think about it. Just think about it. Please.

Here’s the (very obvious, already proven) thing: If anyone has an actual problem with either of us, or a question/concern they would like to approach us about, it is really easy to find us to reach out. When either of us is approached in a respectful manner, we always respond in a respectful manner. There are numerous examples of this fact, both public and private.

While both of us can admittedly be snarky, sarcastic, and/or even rude when we are treated with rudeness or disrespect, we have also both demonstrated repeatedly that we are willing to have respectful conversations about any of the topics we write/tweet about when we are approached directly and politely.

If you don’t believe me, look back at our tweets and replies to comments on our blog, which are all public. Or: Simply try it yourself to see how we respond.

Bottom line: Nobody needs to stoop to spreading lies and hatred…ever, for any reason. To do so says much more about the lying person’s (lack of) character than it says about any of her targets. I don’t want toxic people in my life and I don’t want any of their followers in my life either. So this is it for me. I would say “It’s been nice”, but I’d be lying, so I will just say “Goodbye” instead: Goodbye to meanness, goodbye to liars, goodbye to Straightbians, goodbye to hetsplainers, goodbye to hypocrites, goodbye to cowards, and goodbye to anyone who supports any of these in any way.

UnStraightening Lesbian: Removing the Heterosexual Lens: The Next Series

Note: This post was originally published here.

The next set of Het women we are unSTRAIGHTening for this series are as follows: Rita Mae Brown, Adrienne Cecile Rich, Sheila Jeffreys, and Julie Bindel.

Rita Mae Brown is most known for Rubyfruit Jungle, her warped fictional (?) account of consensual familial incest (with male cousin) PRO-INCEST character who “turned lesbian” — but (God forbid) NOT-one-of-those-Lesbians-who-look-like-men-and-are-ugly-kind-of–Lesbians. Rita Mae briefly dallied with the Lesbian separatist group The Furies, who Homophobically preached “Lesbianism is not a matter of sexual preference, but rather one of political choice” (No. One prefers coffee to tea: Homosexual BIOLOGY isn’t a choice!). From there, Rita Mae was involved with Lavender Menace-a man hating “radical lesbian” offshoot of NOW. Rita “just me” Mae later dumped Lesbian when it was no longer edgy/profitable and today writes applesauce mysteries lapped up by bored Het women.

Adrienne Rich is best known for her poetry and her later Radical Feminist diatribes, one of which spawned the over used phase by Radical Feminists-Compulsive Heterosexuality. Privileged academic Adrienne (I was stuck fast in an emotion common to women of our time, that can turn them bitter, or Lesbian, or solitary) Rich turned Lesbian some years after her Husband of 17 years, producing three children, committed suicide. But thanks to warped feminist sexism, Robin Morgan didn’t view Rich as the Monster she did Ted Hughes. Hmmm…funny that!

Sheila Jeffreys, like all Hets in this group and to quote Julie Bindel “abandon Heterosexuality and her feminine appearance” (hmm still looks Het/feminine) when she found Radical Feminism. Besides teaching, Jeffreys wrote/spoke extensively on other STRAIGHTBIANS whose differently warped sexual proclivities didn’t pass Jeffreys frigid muster, mimicking Het dynamics too closely for her tastes. Jeffreys is equally known for speaking/writing against Transgenderism. Not because she is against the medical damage necessary for transition, but again because Transgender mimics Hetero roles too closely, damaging women/women as a class.

Julie Bindel is a RadFem journalist who focuses on Het women’s issues; violence against women, prostitution, pornography, human trafficking etc. She briefly came out swinging against Transgender/transition but when confronted by trans males, quickly went back to her Het women interests. She is a huge proponent/promoter of many STRAIGHTBIANS featured in this series and STRAIGHTBIANS in general. She routinely states with full Het privilege and Homophobia intact that Lesbianism is a choice and biology means next to nothing, unless speaking about male violence! THAT’S different!

We will begin working on this next group ASAP, probably in the order above; and any (polite) input is welcome, as usual.

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt

Assorted Straightbian Subtypes: Part 2: So Many ASSes

As a follow up to our previous post entitled Assorted Straightbian Subtypes: AKA the Seven ASSes, we wanted to follow up with 2 other subtypes of Straightbian, both of whom may likely have significant overlap with some of the previously described 7 subtypes.

Additionally, although this should go without saying, obviously it needs to be said anyway, based on comments we have received:

Of course, some just-plain-straight females (not Straightbian posers claiming to be Lesbian, but straight-up heterosexual females) may share characteristics that fall into one or more of these archetypes. That makes sense, since both just-plain-straight females and Straightbians share a VERY important characteristic: THEY ARE STRAIGHT, but always remember: we are never going to be talking about straight women unless they are impacting upon Lesbians in some way

So, before you comment, “I know a straight female who likes Tarot”, please stop and remember that unless she is a STRAIGHTBIAN, we are not talking about her, nor denying her existence. She is simply irrelevant to this topic.

So, without further ado, here are 2 follow-up ASSes to add to our previous Assorted STRAIGHTBIAN Subtypes:

8). White Picket Fence and 2 Children In The Suburbs Straightbian: The White Picket Fence (WPF) Straightbian just wants to fit in, to be “normal” (in the eyes of society), yet still retaining her Straightbian status due to her own pathology.

This Straightbian will say that there is absolutely no difference between herself and her soccer-mom neighbor, except who she is in a relationship with (and, actually, she is right about that…because they are BOTH STRAIGHT!).

“We’re all the same”, White Picket Fence loves to say, “Why label people?” Because “Love is Love”, after all! “We’re all human, why create all of these unnecessary divisions?”, WPF often thinks, shaking her perky head.

The White Picket Fence Straightbian loves this cup and carries it everywhere because, gosh darn it, we are all just HUMAN, now aren’t we?:

The White Picket Fence Straightbian cares very much about appearances and fitting in with society’s expectations.

She is in a relationship with another female (either another White Picket Fence Straightbian or a Lesbian who can pass as Straight) but, by golly, she and her partner are going to FIT IN OR BUST:

House in the suburbs? Check!
Golden Retriever? Check!
Volvo? Check!
Casually rumpled, but subtly elegant, decor? Check!
White wedding? Check!
2 adorable children? Check!
Picture-perfect holidays? Check!
Roth IRA and 401K? Check and Check!

On social media, she will call herself something like “just2mommies2kidsand1goldenretriever”. She will follow only others exactly like herself, “eschewing” any real Lesbians who point out that Lesbians are actually different than straight women. So darn divisive, those Lezzies are!

LOVE IS LOVE, after all…

White Picket Fence may be married to a female…

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

8a). Sunshine and Roses:

Relatedly, a sub-sub (-sub…?) type of the White Picket Fence is the Sunshine and Roses Straightbian, who is an emotionally-fragile straight female who uses relentless, sugary-sweet positivity to completely escape/avoid dealing with her own issues that have led her to mistakenly believe she is a “Lesbian“.

Sunshine and Roses was perhaps physically, emotionally, and/or sexually abused as a child; or at least likely had a very chaotic, disturbing home life while growing up. She likely has had very bad previous experiences/relationships with past boyfriend(s)/husband(s).

Sunshine and Roses is desperate to escape not only those bad situations, but also all of the heavy emotional baggage that she carries from those situations.

In fact, she has stuffed that baggage down so far that she actually mistakenly thinks she has left it behind.

On social media and in real life, Sunshine and Roses “eschews” all negativity and strives to keep herself forever insulated from real-world unpleasantness. Her social media posts are likely predominantly inspirational memes and/or cutesy GIFs and/or dreamy “Peace, Love, and Harmony” sentiments, and/or heartbroken laments about “Why is there so much strife in the world?”.

Sunshine and Roses may not even attempt to embark upon a relationship, preferring to call herself a “Lesbian” (or possibly “queer” or “LGBTQQIAAP+“) without the pesky reality of dealing with another fallible and not-always-positive human being. She lives in a fantasy world, perhaps fantasizing incessantly about an idealized version of a particular singer, actor, book, movie, TV show, author, etc. She may read or even write happy-ending fan fiction to erase the unpleasant reality of how an actual storyline turned out.

Sunshine and Roses is likely to unfollow or block anyone on social media who she perceives to be “negative” or “crass” or “unpleasant” in any way. She surrounds herself with beautiful objects and frantically attempts to create harmony in a world sadly lacking it.

Sunshine and Roses is not a bad person. In fact, she is typically a good person who has been dealt a very bad hand in life.

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

8b). The Urban Version of the White Picket Fence (WPF) STRAIGHTBIAN:

Like her suburban counterpart, the Urban WPF Straightbian just wants to fit in, but with a very different crowd.

The Urban WPF doesn’t want the actual white picket fence of her suburban counterpart’s dream…no, of course not, because that would be just too common for Urban.

No, the Urban Straightbian “eschews” the suburban lifestyle, wanting something more “edgy”, more “in”:

Renovated loft in an old cigar factory? Check!
Assorted popular Artists/Actors/Authors/Directors/Designers/Etc. as friends? Check!
Being the cool moms at the most exclusive private school available? Check!
Invitations to the most exclusive events in town? Check!
Season tickets to the local alternative theater? Check!
An amusingly pretentious Chilean chardonnay for the farm-to-table dinner party? Check!
Offspring named Jayden, Ayden, Cayden, or Brayden? Check!
Transgender child? Check!
Roth IRA and 401K? Check and Check!

The Urban Straightbian is popular with the liberal crowd, fitting right in with her liberal friends’ collective desire for diversity…

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

9). Mean-Spirited Unbalanced Faux-Feminist Yahoo (Muffy):

Muffy often overlaps with many/all of our previous 7 Assorted Straightbian Subtypes. In fact, Muffy has likely at least been all of the subtypes at one point or another.

Muffy loves and uses social media with a vengeance. And “vengeance” is the key word here, because Muffy is one angry, hateful harpy. In fact, in her social media bios, she proudly claims to be a/an “angry, hairy Lesbian“, “man-hater”, “virago”, “shrew”, “Patriarchy-smasher”, “radical Lesbian“, “angry feminist“, “Lesbian separatist”, “woman-identified-woman” (or womyn or womon or wimmin or wimms…or any other ridiculous misspelling) and/or some similar descriptor.

On the surface, Muffy may seem to be the polar opposite of Sunshine and Roses, but these two subtypes share common denominators; the difference between them is exposed in how their underlying issues are expressed in opposite ways. Instead of internalizing/repressing her anger/angst (as Sunshine and Roses does), Muffy externalizes her rage, spewing her hatred outward in an incessant vomitous torrent, reminiscent of the pea-soup scene from The Exorcist.

Muffy doesn’t just wait for trouble to find her on social media; oh, no, not Muffy. She goes looking for trouble and when she doesn’t find it, she creates trouble.

Like a trigger-happy bounty hunter, Muffy is always on the hunt for people she finds offensive, and when she inevitably finds someone who dares to say something she disagrees with, she tries to blow that person away with her high-caliber nastiness.

In her quest to destroy her perceived enemy/enemies, Muffy completely “eschews” all logic, listening skills, and literacy, opting instead for sheer unadulterated, completely illogical, meanness.

No insult is too low nor off-limits for Muffy. Muffy hits below the belt and is proud of it.

Despite claiming to be a “feminist“, Muffy regularly insults other females’ looks, clothes, hair, makeup (or lack thereof), weight, age, marriage, choices, profession, ideas, words, work, etc., etc., etc. She calls Lesbians “men” without a single thought, nor care, in her venomous, vitriolic, vapid head about the potential effects of her words.

Muffy LOVES using inane memes/GIFs in the heat of battle, apparently not realizing that her memes/GIFs are as lame, illogical, nonsensical, and ineffectual as she herself is. She will then throw at least a few red herrings into the discussion, saying untrue things that make no sense whatsoever, and have nothing to do with the conversation at hand, but are intentionally designed to try to make the opponent(s) look bad and to distract from the fact that Muffy has no coherent argument. (Examples include falsely claiming that the perceived opponent(s) is/are: racist, sexist, misogynist, rape-apologist, perverted, pedophilic, etc.).

Finally, despite having deliberately sought out and started/continued the argument herself, and, despite having said absolutely false, defamatory, and despicable things to her opponent, Muffy then pretends to be the victim in the situation, falsely claiming that the other person is “bullying”, or even “stalking”, her. And Muffy is not above nor below using a fake suicide attempt to garner sympathy and support, thereby completely nullifying any further arguments.

She will then enlist other Muffys to attack, berate, harass, block, defame, exclude, and/or report her perceived opponent(s), while basking in the shallow, brittle “sisterhood” and feel-good-for-a-minute attention afforded from being The Perpetual Victim Of The Patriarchy.

Rinse and repeat, ad nauseum.

Muffy is one nasty, bitter piece of work.

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

In conclusion, while some Straightbians are clearly more dangerous to Lesbians in the individual sense, even Straightbians who partner with each other are dangerous to Lesbian as an idea. Straightbians are collectively responsible for taking the real flesh-and-blood Lesbian and turning us into nothing more than an idea which they, warped Het Women, flesh out through their own individual pathologies. Pathologies which the Psychiatric community has documented, diagnosed, and demonized for centuries. Pathologies ignorantly accepted by Het society as truth. Heterosexual Pathologies widely and readily, though incorrectly, attributed to actual Lesbians, haunting our relationships with family, friends, and even strangers, all with long held preconceived, wrong IDEAS forged by Straightbians!

But Lesbian isn’t an idea, we are flesh, blood, and bone.

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt

Unstraightening Lesbian from Social Media’s Plethora of Straightbians

I have written before about the ongoing harassment, denial, hate, insults, opposition, and sheer mean-spirited hatred that Dirt and I have faced, particularly on Twitter, due to our ongoing efforts to unSTRAIGHTen Lesbian from the twisted claws of the myriad of Straightbians who have stolen our Lesbian name and our Lesbian history, steamrolling over Lesbian lives with hetsplaining lies and arrogant straight privilege.

Unfortunately, this ongoing saga continues, because radfem straight “feminists” in general, as well as Straightbians specifically, GREATLY outnumber actual Lesbians.

Such altercations all-too-often explode into a full-blown Straightbian hissy-fit of paranoia, delusions, outright lies, mind-boggling nastiness, bizarre accusations, manipulation, gaslighting, smear campaigns, and nonsensical gibberish.

For the latest installment of the Straightbian Train To Crazy-Town, read this sorry saga at the link here.

ATTENTION: All Lesbians: If anyone tells you it is a “choice” to be a Lesbian, calls you a male for speaking up, and/or in any other way denies/denigrates Lesbian essential existence: rest assured that that person is not a Lesbian, not an ally, and not your friend. And if anyone uses insults based on appearance, age, etc. against a Lesbian/female, she is also not a true feminist. Beware.