Live and Let Live…? (Not When Lesbians Are Being Harmed)


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Thanks to everybody for your feedback on my last post, A Lesbian Psychologist Speaks Out. It is truly heartening to know that Dirt & I aren’t the only ones out there who are concerned; Dirt has been warning people for years about the devastation the trans trend is bringing upon the lesbian community…years before anyone else even got a whiff of trouble.

Even the polite feedback that did not 100% agree with my thoughts is appreciated.  For example, a fellow lesbian on Twitter very politely told me that she found my post interesting, but then stated that she felt we all should accept and support the transgender trend, because “it’s their body, their choice.” and “Hormones, surgeries…it’s not my place to say it’s wrong.”

On the surface, that does sound reasonable, doesn’t it?  After all, when we are talking about adults (ones who have not been deemed incompetent by a court of law), we must recognize that adults do indeed have the legal right to do whatever they want to their body as long as it does not over cross the line into illegal behavior. 

As just a few examples, legally competent adults have the right to do whatever we want to ourselves as long as we are not breaking any laws: we could smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day, to eat Whoppers and fries for every meal, to starve ourselves to rail-thinness, to perform extreme and/or painful body modifications, to have unprotected sex (as long as we are not knowingly passing on any STDs), to walk barefoot in the Sahara desert when it is 104 degrees, to binge and purge, to skinny dip in Alaska on the coldest day of the century, to burn ourselves with cigarettes, to self-harm with razor blades, to consume Mad Dog 20/20 in copious amounts, to have so many facelifts that we can no longer blink, etc.

But are all of those good, sound, healthy decisions?  Are all of these actions that should be supported, honored, exalted, cheered, and overtly encouraged?  Um…no. And the same is true of the unquestioning acceptance of the transgender trend.

So: I am not disputing adults’ legal right to transition, or to do any of the other dangerous  and/or unwise behaviors listed above. Nor would I ever want anyone to be denied basic rights (employment, housing, etc.), nor  would I ever want anyone to be harmed in any way (bullied, harassed, etc.). 

But: As both a lesbian and a psychologist, I am questioning the wisdom of a profession and a society that wholeheartedly and unquestioningly supports the transgender trend, which is, among many other concerns: an ideology that is based upon John Money’s long-ago-discredited theory; a doctrine that suggests that there is a “right way” or “wrong way” to be a female (or a male); a diagnosis that typically leads to the unnecessary and dangerous use of cross-sex hormones and/or surgeries; and a cancer that has both divided and decimated the lesbian community.

Do legally competent adults have the right to transition?  Yes, of course. 

But is it right for society, for the government, for the media, for parents, for our fellow lesbians, and for the professional community to support (and even promote) this sinister trend? No. Not by a long shot.

Here’s the thing:  Even if an adult is legally competent to make  such dangerous decisions for herself, it doesn’t mean that she fully understands her own subconscious reasons for making those decisions.

She likely doesn’t fully process all of the factors that led her to believe she is trans, which, of course, varies from person to person, but often includes variations of some or all the following: lack of societal acceptance as a female who doesn’t fit into the stereotypical societal mold; lack of her family’s and/or society’s acceptance of her as a lesbian; social contagion; possible trauma; seeing transgender exalted while lesbians are disparaged, misrepresented, and/or ignored; reacting to being a woman in a misogynistic society and naturally wanting the privileges she sees males automatically getting; and simply wholeheartedly accepting the trans narrative as an unquestionable truth.

Also, it should be noted that being legally competent to make her own decisions does not mean someone fully understands the possible ramifications of her decisions.  Most people just skip over the possible side effects and potential negative consequences, particularly when highly motivated for a goal.

This document is one example of an “Informed Consent” form to initiate testosterone therapy. Most people barrel through the fine print before scribbling their signature to obtain the long-awaited “prize”.

But let’s stop and really look at this form, shall we?

First, at the top, the form notes that there are known risks to testosterone usage and states that the patient is encouraged to “think about the potential effects of this treatment before signing.”

Then we go on to review the permanent effects of testosterone therapy in #1: “Hair loss, especially at my temples and crown of my head, possibly male pattern baldness; Facial hair growth; Deepening of voice;  Increased body hair growth (i.e., on arms, legs, chest, back, buttocks, and abdomen, etc.); Enlargement of clitoris.

Note that permanent means…well, permanent.  So, even if she changes her mind later, she will likely have lost the hair on her head but will likely still have hair on her ass. This in itself ought to be a deterrent, IMHO, but, sadly, it is not usually a deal-breaker.

The potentially reversible effects are also concerning, particularly the one about “Increased red blood cells“.  If you are interested in why this should be concerning, read about polycythemia.

Then we go on to note in #2 that the effects of testosterone therapy are unknown and if she changes her mind in the future and wants to become pregnant, she may not be able to.

#3 is chilling.  Please read this statement carefully, then reread it, then really THINK about the implications:  “I understand that brain structures are affected by testosterone and estrogen. The long term effects of changing the levels of one’s natal estrogen through the use of testosterone therapy have not been scientifically studied and are impossible to predict.

#4 continues this alarming trend by explaining that basically doctors don’t really have a freaking clue what is going to happen: “I understand that everyone’s body is different and that there is no way to predict what my response to hormones will be.”

On that less-than-cheery note, let’s examine #5: “I will have complete physical examinations and lab tests periodically as required to make sure I am not having an adverse reaction to testosterone and to continue good health care.”  Translation: “We know that adverse effects happen, and we want to cover our asses.”

#6 should alarm you even if the other warnings haven’t:  “I have been informed that using testosterone may increase my risk of developing diabetes in the future because of changes in my ovaries.”  Hmm.  Increased risk of diabetes.  Not good, huh?

#7 continues with more dire warnings: “I understand that the endometrium (lining of the uterus) is able to turn testosterone into estrogen and may increase the risk of cancer of the endometrium.” If brain structure changes and diabetes didn’t scare you, cancer should.

#8 states: “I understand that testosterone therapy should not be relied upon to prevent pregnancy.” You wouldn’t think that would be a problem for lesbians, but sadly, it is, because of a largely misunderstood, often unknown, and seemingly puzzling phenomenon that happens when lesbians start taking testosterone: they often start craving sex with men. As completely unthinkable as this prospect is to lesbians (Ewwww!), it indeed has been noted to happen with alarming frequency once lesbians start taking testosterone.

#9 is directly related to #8 because having unprotected sex is very risky: “I understand the effects of testosterone therapy by itself will not provide protection from sexually transmitted diseases or HIV.

#10 and #11 are related: “10. Annual breast exams, monthly self-exams, and annual mammograms/cancer screenings after the age of 40 are highly recommended even after chest reconstruction. 11. I understand fatty tissue in the breasts and body is able to turn excess testosterone into estrogen, which may increase my risk of breast cancer…”  Another cancer warning!!

#12 brings another dire warning:  “I have been informed that testosterone may lead to liver inflammation and damage.” If possible cancers, diabetes, and brain structure changes haven’t scared you enough, what about damage to your liver?

If all of the above health warnings were not enough, how about #13?  “I have been informed that if I take testosterone my good cholesterol (HDL) will probably go down and bad cholesterol (LDL) will go up. This may increase my risk of heart attack or stroke in the future.” If cancer doesn’t get you, heart disease or stroke might.

If all these health risks don’t concern you, how about psychological changes?  #14 says: “I understand that testosterone therapy may cause changes in my emotions.” Above, this document had already noted: “Possibly increased feelings of aggression or anger.”  Such changes can cause devastating consequences in a patient’s relationships and/or in her work setting.

The rest of the items are standard boilerplate legalese, such as: inform your health care provider if you are taking any other medications or supplements, if you want to stop testosterone, if you have complicating conditions,  if you have adverse side effects, etc. (Basic cover-your-ass jargon).

In other words, by signing a document such as this, the patient takes full responsibility for the possibility of a host of both known and unknown adverse side effects while simultaneously absolving health care providers of responsibility since she has (allegedly) been duly warned.

And the above warnings are just for taking testosterone;  please note that there are many, many, MANY additional risks for surgeries.

How many people, particularly young adults under age 25, whose brains are not yet fully mature, fully understand the implications of such very serious decisions?  The “I’m-invincible-and-it-won’t-happen-to-me” phenomenon is usually in full force with young adults.

Even more mature adults rarely fully comprehend the risks, and even when they do, they often rationalize and hope that it doesn’t happen to them.

So the “let’s-justlive-and-let-live; it’s-their-bodies-and-their-choice” argument regarding the transgender trend just doesn’t stand up to scrutiny when examined closely.

Instead, I argue that even though adults do indeed have the right to make the decision to medically transition, that it is never a good decision.  I argue that the multiple potential factors affecting these decisions are usually poorly understood even to the patients themselves, and are skimmed over and/or covered up by the medical community, who mainly seem to be all too willing to jump on the trans bandwagon to make a buck. I argue that the known effects of testosterone use are very concerning, in addition to a host of unknown effects, which are perhaps potentially even more concerning. And there are so many concerns about the transition surgeries that there is no room to even touch upon those risks in this post.

And the fact that cross-sex hormones are NOT approved by the FDA for the purposes of transition is yet another worrisome issue which most fail to know or address.

Bottom line, the transgender trend feels like a scientific experiment, with lesbians all-too-often the unwitting guinea pigs.

Until lesbians drop the liberal and well-intentioned, but ultimately naive, “live-and-let-live” attitude and wake up to what is really going on, this trend will continue with even more lesbian lives harmed by the hour.

Contrary to what many people think, Dirt and I don’t hate transgender people; instead, what we hate is seeing lesbian lives ruined and even lost. Genuine concern is not “transphobia”; speaking out is not “hate speech”.

I just hope somebody will hear our voices over all the noise.

19 thoughts on “Live and Let Live…? (Not When Lesbians Are Being Harmed)

  1. I’m sorry now I did’t respond to your original comment. I thought my ‘professional’ insight was less valuable than yours. But let me start with a long quote, probably familiar to you:

    “I don’t know what you mean by ‘glory,’ ” Alice said.
    Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. “Of course you don’t—till I tell you. I meant ‘there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!’ ”
    “But ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument’,” Alice objected.
    “When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less.”
    “The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”
    “The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master—that’s all.”

    Yes, I’m a linguist, not a psychologist. The whole postmodernist, queer caboodle is based on a Humpty-Dumpty view of language, which by the way they write extraordinarily badly even on their own terms. All the times you’ve puzzled over post-modernist texts: well stop scratching your head right now: it really DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING. They pretend to understand each other, but it’s the Emperor’s Clothes.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks for your comment! Yes, that is so true…and so sad! The professional organizations (including mine) are putting out “Best Practices” and similar documents that are intended to force professionals to accept the trans trend…or else. Combine that with trans laws being passed, and it is becoming an increasingly concerning situation.

      Liked by 2 people

      • The Académie Française has so far remained silent on the question, but the Office de la Langue Française in Canada definitely enjoins us to use ‘transexuel’ and ‘transexuelle’ in accordance with the aspirational rather than biological sex of the individual. If you write carefully, you can slip under the fence with “transgendre” or “transgénérique”.
        But it’s problematic writing in any language that systematically uses grammatical gender.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. My thoughts exactly. It’s true on a surface level that adults can do whatever they want with their bodies, but when you look closer it becomes obvious that this movement is harming lesbians by convincing them all that they’re men and putting them on a hormone that’s not supposed to be in their bodies. I care because this shouldn’t be happening to lesbians.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. If live and let live is a sacrosanct philosophy…does it not extend to society’s and medicine’s obligation that women and lesbians conform to male expectations? Because that is exactly what transition is really about. That was the original intention when it was invented, and it continues to be the motivation today, especially in places like Iran. Another casualty of neoliberal social justice. It places the individual at the center of the universe and ignores the larger system that this individual was created and nurtured in. As John Donne said, “No man [or woman] is an island.” Actually, even islands are affected by tides, by the sun and moon, etc. There is simply no rational basis for the constant exhortation to live and let live.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Great points! Yes, there is no rational basis for the constant demand that we “be nice” and “be inclusive” and “to live and let live” and “it’s not up to me to have an opinion” etc. Such statements are a (usually well-intentioned) way to keep the peace & to keep people quiet & to make everyone feel that we “should” wholeheartedly accept things.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Is this representative of consent forms for women wishing to transition? It’s beyond awful!

    A question: do you think the medical/mental-health community is going to push for this for much longer or are you seeing any change coming soon? I mean, do we have to wait for an entire generation to become sick and miserable before we are able to really inform people wishing to transition about these dangers?

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi, and thanks for your comment!

      Yes, this is one example of an Informed Consent Form for Testosterone, but they are all the same (or very similar).

      Some specify that the use of Testosterone is off-label for transition (meaning the FDA has NOT approved it’s use for that purpose); some don’t. Some mention migraines, which this one didn’t. Etc.

      So there are slight differences of wording/emphasis but provide the same basic info (that there are both known and unknown risks).

      To try to answer your question, I think that this will get worse before it gets better.

      Some people say we have hit a tipping point, but I fear there is worse to come.

      I think it will take a very significant number of people being significantly harmed or even dying, and then people finally making the connection between the illnesses/deaths & the transition procedures, before the majority start to wake up.

      Sad. Like so many so-called “cures” before (lobodomy comes to mind), I think people will look back on this one day and shake their heads in disbelief.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. There are many things where “live-and-let-live” is a valid philosophy, such as differing tastes in music, but this is not one of those cases. The trans trend is actively harming lesbians and other females, gay men, and people who just don’t fit into sexist stereotypes well enough.

    The notion of informed consent is becoming increasingly unfounded as this trend is being pushed onto children with parents being ordered not to question it or else. (Look at Jazz Jennings, who could have grown up to be an effeminate gay man if it wasn’t for the trans trend indoctrination at a young age.) If a child can’t legally vote, drink, smoke, get married, drive (in some cases), enter a binding legal contract, or join the military, then how can a child possibly give informed consent to this? Especially since the trans rhetoric is “you need the hormones, you need the surgery, otherwise you will never be happy and you will commit suicide.”

    The reality is that you can’t change your sex and liking hobbies/toys/outfits/career paths stereotypically associated with the opposite sex (as a child or an adult) does not mean you are the opposite sex/trapped in the wrong body. It also doesn’t necessarily mean a kid will grow up to be gay or lesbian, but if that does happen and you want to be a good parent, just be supportive. Self-acceptance is a much better treatment for body image issues and/or repressed homosexuality (or bisexuality) than destroying your endocrine system. Think of it this way: who stands to make a ton of money by convincing people that the only way to feel better about themselves is to become a life-long-medical patient? I think everyone knows. Additionally, people with anorexia suffer from body image issues, but no one is suggesting to give them liposuction.

    As for adults, yes adults have the right to do whatever they want to their bodies. That said, if we’re going live and let live, then maybe the trans wacktivists should stop with their boundary-violating behavior and screaming that being homosexual, particularly lesbian, is bigoted and that we need to pity date/pity fuck them. Maybe trans wacktivists should also accept that most sane women do not want to share a bathroom with men, no matter how much they “feel like a woman” and that most sane men also think it’s a bad idea. Maybe the trans wacktivists should stop pushing medical experiments on children who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or just don’t fit into sexist stereotypes. Maybe they should stop constantly excusing sexual predators in their community, stop demanding that taxpayers fund SRS for male prisoners who have decided they are really women after they murdered a bunch of women, and stop with the obnoxious thought-policing of those who question any of the above, then maybe I would be more on board with live and let live.

    Liked by 1 person

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