UnStraightening Lesbian: Removing the Heterosexual Lens: Susie Bright

Note:  If you want to see trigger-warning-level shocking sexual pictures that further illustrate our points made in this post, here is the link to my latest joint post with my spouse, partner, and all-around sweetie-pie, Dirt.  In this post, we critique the work of one of the so-called “Lesbian Experts” who are neither lesbian nor expertSusie Bright.  Please feel free to comment in either place.

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Time For A Truly Bright Idea: #PicsArt #FreeToEdit

In our recent post Unstraightening Lesbian: Removing the Heterosexual Lens, we discussed 4 (alleged) “Lesbian Experts” who are neither lesbian nor expert, and we gave teasers for each of our first 4 offenders. These posts will shine a spotlight on one of these offenders, and this one is particularly guilty.

Today’s subject, Susie Bright, is single-handedly responsible for disseminating a plethora of misinformation to the public, as well as to lesbians ourselves. She has written and said sooo much ridiculousness that it will be difficult to confine this critique to a single post, but we will, because she does not deserve any more attention than she has already stolen from real lesbians.

Susie is a self-proclaimed “lesbian sexpert” and, in fact, she wrote a book entitled “Susie Sexpert’s Lesbian Sex World” (hereafter referred to as SSLSW), essentially a collection of essays which first appeared in various publications, which explains the book’s unevenness and lack of apparent purpose (other than a format to brag about her sexual prowess/expertise and her blinding fabulousness, that is).

There’s enough nonsense in this one book alone to write a dissertation about, so we will have to focus on the worst of the worst factual errors and egregious lies about lesbian life.

To begin with, the premise that Susie Bright is in any way a “lesbian expert” is a gargantuan fallacy, because she is not a lesbian.  She herself states on her website that she is “bisexual”, and that she has lived with her male partner for approximately 25 years, in other words, she LOVES the cock.

However, this little factoid does not appear in SSLSW until the very latter chapters; prior to the very end of the book, she refers to herself and her activities as “lesbian” or “dyke”, with no hint that she really LOVES dick until the very end.

Susie, who is, as we now know, a non-lesbian aka STRAIGHTBIAN, was also was a contributor (and editor-in-chief from 1984 until 1991) of On Our Backs (OOB) magazine, which proclaimed itself to be “Entertainment for the Adventurous Lesbian“, and Susie now describes OOB as “an influential and remarkable part of lesbian, feminist, and publishing history“.

So, with the blurb of Susie’s (non)qualifications as a “lesbian expert” covered, let’s turn now to her infamous book, SSLSW, for (non)wisdom on the lesbian experience.  The following is just a very small sampling of the insanity, so we tried to pick out the most absurd for your reading (dis)pleasure.

In her chapter entitled “Pack It Up, I’ll Take It”, Susie (along with help from her buddy and fellow quack “Fanny Fatale”,who will be featured in a later post), assert the following preposterous claims:

There are butches who dress in feminine clothing because it turns them on…Half the lesbians in the sex industry as erotic dancers or prostitutes are butches.”

First of all, real Butches are incredibly rare and it is very likely that Susie has never even seen one. (Having short hair does not make someone Butch, although it makes millions of dykes falsely claim to be Butch). Secondly, no real Butch would ever “dress in feminine clothing” (for a turn-on or for any other reason); furthermore, a real Butch would literally die before she worked as a prostitute or a stripper. Sorry, Susie and Fanny, you batted zero there.

In the chapter entitled “Get Into The Group”, Bright claims incorrectly:

There is a whole generation of dykes who first made love to a woman as part of a ménage à trois with a man.”

Perhaps the most offensive chapters (although it is admittedly a very close race!) in the book is entitled “How To Stuff a Wild Lesbian Bikini: A Survey of Lesbian Erotica” with a list of Susie’s opinions of the best “lesbian” erotica. (The key word here is “lesbian“, but as you will soon see, Susie’s list is about as far from lesbian as it is possible to get).

Here is a small sampling of her vomitous, non-lesbian reading recommendations:

#10). There is an insurmountable problem with this example: Lesbians are female, and should never be referred to as “he”:

 #11). There is a fatal flaw with #11: It was written by contributor to pedophile Paidika Journal Pat Califia.  Need we say more?
 #12).  There is an unbelievably obvious problem with this story: Lesbians do not want cock.  We don’t want to have one, and we don’t want anything whatsoever to do with a dick. Ergo, lesbians do not want to read anything entitled “A Short Story About A Penis” by STRAIGHTBIAN Sarah Schulman!

#15).  There are so many problems with this one that we will leave it at “Huh?”:

In the chapter entitled “Over The Dam”, Susie talks about AIDS in the lesbian community.  While we agree with providing safe sex education, Susie’s musings on the lesbian community in this chapter is not only cuckoo, it is the sort of fictitious fabrication that contributes to heterosexual men thinking that they have a snowball’s chance in Hell of getting into a lesbian’s bed. It also REEKS of a warped jealousy of true lesbians being (still) the lowest risk for HIV and lowest group who’ve contracted HIV which Susie tries to twist otherwise. The statement below also makes clear Susie does not view herself as a real lesbian since lesbians are “pure-as-the-driven-snow” and Susie is not.

This should go without saying, but sadly, Susie is forcing us to state the obvious: Lesbians do not have sex with men.  

Susie, you obviously love dick, therefore you are not a lesbian. LESBIANS DO NOT WANT DICK. LESBIANS DO NOT WANT MEN EVEN IF THEIR DICK FELL OFF. LESBIANS ARE NOT EMOTIONALLY/PHYSICALLY/SPIRITUALLY ATTRACTED TO MALES! This isn’t rocket science, people. Lesbians love women.

In summary, Susie Bright is not a lesbian and therefore has no right to speak for and about lesbians. She has repeatedly promoted outright falsehoods to and about lesbians.  She has made a fortune off of her nonsensical tales and she continues to make money off of us/LESBIANS to this day.

Susie, you’re not as bright as you think you are. It’s WAY past time to get off our backs!

Dirt and Mrs Dirt

14 thoughts on “UnStraightening Lesbian: Removing the Heterosexual Lens: Susie Bright

  1. I had never read Suzie Bright. Wow, she is full of shit! As if I’d ever put a Barbie doll in my vagina! WTF. Some of the people who you’re criticizing in this series are what I call “sex-pozzies,” who are people who call themselves sex positive but they promote sexual abuse and dysfunctional behaviors. They usually call themselves “feminists” but their work is insulting and harmful to women.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ugh. Yes, you are so right about Bright. I met her once. I was with the butchest woman I have ever met…a friend-of-a-friend who was showing me around the Castro District in San Francisco…a woman who, for the purpose of this anecdote, I will call Butch…

    Butch saw Bright sitting outside a restaurant waiting for a friend. Butch was so thrilled to see Bright! She introduced herself and reminded Bright of the many times they had chatted, and about their mutual friends. (So, yes, Bright is acquainted with at least one actual butch.) I had never heard of Bright before that moment. Butch gushed to me about Bright being a famous author and all-around-revolutionary lesbian. Butch introduced me to Bright as a friend from out of town, and a fellow lesbian. Throughout the interaction, Bright was aloof and dismissive.

    Now, to be fair to Bright, maybe she was having a bad day. Maybe she was sick of lesbians stopping in public to praise her and her work. But I remember thinking, clearly and distinctly, “She’s not even a lesbian.” It’s not just that Bright was a non-blip on my gaydar. She didn’t do the things that all lesbians do when we meet each other in public places, consciously or unconsciously — such as lesbian eye contact. If you don’t know what lesbian eye contact is, you’re probably not a lesbian. It’s the way lesbians look at each other with appraising and perhaps guarded but acknowledging-recognizing-affirming EYE CONTACT when we see — or especially when we MEET — other lesbians. My impression was that Bright didn’t “get it.” She didn’t get Butch. She didn’t get me. She was so obviously NOT a member of the tribe.

    I said all this to Butch as we continued our walking tour of the Castro. Butch disagreed. We went into Different Light bookstore (at least, I think it was Different Light) and Butch bought me a copy of one of Bright’s books. I don’t remember if it was Susie Sexpert or what, but I do remember reading it and thinking it was utter bullshit. At the time, I chalked it up to my not fully understanding lesbian culture in San Francisco. I was glad I didn’t live there because I could not have thrived in such a creepy kinkshow scene fraudulently portraying itself as lovingly lesbian.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hi, Thanks for commenting! Yes, I think a lot of lesbians were in denial that Susie was a charlatan; and it certainly seems that your friend also wanted to believe that Susie was a lesbian and someone to be admired.

      I think we lesbians are so starved for attention/information/lesbian heroes/etc. that we often will accept less than we deserve, which is why people like Bright rise to fame.

      I like & agree with what you said about that kind of scene is “fraudulently portraying itself as lovingly lesbian.”

      Liked by 3 people

    • Hi! Yeah, LOL @ #15!

      Sadly, I think it did sell a lot of copies.

      According to the Amazon page, it looks like it’s currently in it’s 3rd edition (and publishers let books go out-of-print if they aren’t selling!).

      Just for “fun” (not!), here’s the description on the Amazon page: “The most celebrated and widely read lesbian sex guide in history. SSLSW is the lesbian sex book that rocked girls from coast to coast. Here’s what lesbians really do, not what the sex cops think we ought to do. Cruising, packing, fisting, G- spots, porn stars, dildos, vibrators, anal sex, group sex, sex with straight girls, dental dams, lube ‘n latex, sex during pregnancy…and more! Features new stories by Susie about bisexuality”.

      So much BS packed into one Amazon promo!

      I agree it’s porn for the straight/kinky masses, but unfortunately, the title and description of the book make it sound like it actually is what lesbians do.

      Sighing loudly.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: UnStraightening Lesbian-Removing the Heterosexual Lens (Part 2) | Saye Bennett

  4. Pingback: Unstraightening Lesbian: Removing the Heterosexual Lens: Shar Rednour | Saye Bennett

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