“Dear Lesbian”

Today, after witnessing the vague “advice” given to a lesbian in this column, I have decided to start a “Dear Lesbian” feature.


Image: #PicsArt #FreeToEdit

Feel free to email me at sayebennett@gmail.com to ask any lesbian-related questions and/or submit requests for topics. Dirt and I will be happy to answer, and we hope our lesbian readers will feel free to chime in with your thoughts also.

(Note: As a blanket cover-my-ass statement, note that everything I say on my blog is my opinion as a lesbian, and should never be considered as any sort of therapy or professional advice).

Today, I will start with addressing the lesbian’s question from the link above.

I will paraphrase the lesbian’s question to the advice columnist (you can read the entire question at the link above if you’d like, but it can be quickly summed up as follows):

Lesbian Question: “My girlfriend of 2 years recently had sex with a man. Should I take her back?”

The advice columnist at the link above gave some generic advice along these lines: “Blah blah blah, get some counseling, it’s not up to me to say, relationships are tough, blah blah blah“.

I can sum up the correct answer to this lesbian’s dilemma very quickly:

Correct Answer: No, you should not take her back. Run like the wind, sister. She is a Straightbian.  Thank her for showing her true colors before you wasted any more precious years of your life, and hold your lesbian head up high as you’re escorting her sorry ass out the door. You deserve someone who will love you for you. You deserve a lesbian.

Sometimes, the answers in life are pretty darn obvious.  This is one of those times.

7 thoughts on ““Dear Lesbian”

  1. Dr. Bennett, Amy did the very best she could muster to answer a distraught lesbian. Very few counselors/therapist have the wherewithal OR experience to answer correctly, you are very rare. Once again, real lesbian issues given a one size fits all response. Just generic blah blah blah.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hi Chonky, Thanks for your comment…and for the compliment too!

      Yes, I suppose perhaps she did the best she could, and I do realize that it is tempting to say a whole lot of nothing to avoid responsibility.

      But: I really feel the advice should have been more direct in addressing the real issue, which is: lesbians don’t sleep with men, so if the “girlfriend” would do that, she is not really a “girlfriend” to a lesbian AND she is not a lesbian herself. (Even if she didn’t want to be that specific, she could have said something rather general which implied the obvious…).

      Liked by 3 people

  2. When I first read your comment in my inbox, out of context, I thought “that’s a bit harsh”. But having read now the original Q and A, I couldn’t be more in agreement. Of course “Amy” recommends professional counselling: that means $$$, and those people scratch each others’ backs.

    You’re certainly too young to remember, but may yet be campy enough to know the lyrics of the song from “South Pacific”: “I’m gonna wash that man right out of my hair… I’m gonna wave that man right out of my arms… and send him on his way; don’t try to patch it up, tear it up, tear it up” With the appropriate (linguistic!) gender changes, that would be my advice to the original inquirer, and seems to be yours too.

    Ditching someone is very hard to do.I only ever did it once, and hated it. So much so that I became an expert in manipulating others to ditch me. Don’t follow my example: you wind up hating yourself, not them.

    I give you advance warning that I will have a floodload to outpour, or pour out, under your ‘Bisexuality’ rubric, as soon as I have a fully-functioning keyboard.

    In defiance of my (knowledgeable) best friend, who tells me “in solidarity” is a more appropriate valediction on a public blog, I send you and Dirt and all readers my love.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hi P,

      Yes, I do know that song and it would indeed be appropriate for this situation, if we substitute the word “Straightbian” for “man”! 🙂

      Sure, comment away on bisexuality (or anything else); as long as we keep it civil, that’s what we are trying to do: open up the conversation.

      Sending you our love (and solidarity) too. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

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