Today’s post came about due to a battle that Dirt had last night with a purported “lesbian”. This purported “lesbian” claimed that nobody is a lesbian until we have had sex with a woman.
So, to give an example of this thinking (which closely corresponds to her own example):
To illustrate this woman’s idea, let’s say that a lesbian has sex for the very first time on her 25th birthday. So, in this woman’s mind, our example was NOT a lesbian from birth up though the age of 24 years, 11 months, and 28-31 days, depending on her month of birth.
Then poof! On her 25th birthday she does the naughty deed and wow!, our example suddenly becomes a lesbian at that oh-so-magical moment.
When confronted by Dirt on the obvious flaws in this thinking, and when even given examples that refute this bizarre idea, this woman, like so many people on Twitter, got upset, spouted a ton of nonsense about “compulsory heterosexuality” and said the assumption is always that everybody is straight, and finally refused to discuss it anymore.
So I will break it down here in case there is any confusion lurking about.
Lesbians do not “magically become lesbian” at the precise moment we have sex. We were lesbian all along.
In fact, we don’t need to even have sex to be a lesbian; we could choose celibacy if we wanted to, and yet we would still be lesbians.
Same principle with gay men; same principle with EVERYBODY.
Let’s look at a similar example with a straight woman. Let’s say our hypothetical straight woman has decided to “save herself for marriage” (as the saying goes), deciding to be celibate until her wedding night.
Our fictitious straight woman meets the man of her dreams and they become engaged, and sure enough, they do wait until their wedding night to consummate their relationship.
Was our example NOT STRAIGHT until her wedding night? Did she have to have sex to “become straight”?
Of course not. She was heterosexual all along.
As another hypothetical example, let’s say a young lesbian had not yet had sex, but she plans to seduce a special lady this coming weekend. Tragically, she gets hit in the head by a softball on Thursday evening, and sadly dies immediately. Since she died before ever having sex, does that make her any less of a lesbian?
Of course not. She was a lesbian all along.
What about a lesbian who never, for whatever reason, dates? Maybe she is too shy to get out into the dating world, maybe she is a workaholic and doesn’t take the time to meet a partner, but for whatever reason, this woman never has sex before she dies. Guess what? She is still a lesbian.
One more hypothetical example to illustrate this point, and I will be done.
In our next example, let’s say a young straight male teenager (who has not yet had sex) is marooned on an island because he is the sole survivor in a horrific maritime accident. He is stuck on this island, alone forever until he eventually croaks. Since he never had sex before becoming hopelessly isolated on the island by himself, does that make him any less straight?
Answer: of course not. He was straight until the day he died. He was just likely very frustrated.
Being a lesbian isn’t about having sex. Our identities don’t spring up out of thin air on the day we first make love. I was a lesbian when I was a virgin, and I would still be a lesbian if I had still to this day never had sex at all. Always a lesbian.
This is basic common sense, folks.