There Is No Such Thing As A “Former Lesbian”

If we had a nickel for every time we’ve heard a variation the phrase “used to be a Lesbian” or “former Lesbian”, Dirt and I could quit our day jobs.

Just think about it, there are tons of examples in everyday life, in TV shows, in movies, in books (etc.) where an allegedLesbian” ends up with a man.  (“Alleged” is the key word here, obviously).

Let’s review just a few examples of (so-called) “former Lesbians“:

1). Susan Ross, George Costanza’s ill-fated fiance on Seinfeld: When George learned that his ex-girlfriend, Susan, was dating a woman named Mona, he made a joke that he had “turned her Lesbian”. Then (of course, predictably) Susan and George reunited. To make matters even worse, Mona fell for Kramer, even though the character had allegedly never expressed interest in men before. (Offensive).

2). Orange is the New Black’s Piper Chapman:  In the Season 1 official trailer, at approximately .36-.37 seconds, Piper’s mom asks “You were a lesbian?” and Piper (sitting with her MALE fiance) replies “At the time”. (Ugh).

3). The turd from my last post. (Yuck).

4). Susie Bright. (Barf).

5). JoAnn Loulan. (Loathsome).

6). Every Straightbian who has allegedly eschewed “Lesbianism” to embrace Christianity, such as Turd #3, above, as well as others of her ignorant ilk, like Rosario Butterfield.  (Repugnant).

A couple quick Google searches for “used to be a lesbian” and “former lesbian” showed that there are many, many, MANY hits:


Former LesbianThe problem is: There is no such thing. You are being lied to. These people are insulting your intelligence.

And: not only is this pervasive lie offensive to, and erasing of, real Lesbians…but it is also downright dangerous because it gives the VERY false idea that being a Lesbian is just a choice which (POOF!!) magically can be changed on a mere whim, the whiff of a penis, and/or the discovery of a deity.

Once again, behavior does not equal orientation.  Any woman can enter into a same-sex relationship (or just have sex with another woman), BUT any woman cannot magically become a Lesbian. It doesn’t matter whether a relationship between a straight woman and another woman lasts 50 minutes or 50 years, a straight woman will never be a Lesbian, and a Lesbian can never be a straight woman.

The truth actually stunningly simple: Whenever you hear that somebody “used to be a Lesbian” or is a “former Lesbian”, you know you are dealing with total bullshit. You’ll know that the very special snowflake somebody in question is a Straightbian.  Bottom Line: This person never was a Lesbian to begin with.

The end.

13 thoughts on “There Is No Such Thing As A “Former Lesbian”

  1. This is what I don’t understand….. why can’t they just leave you and Dirt alone? Why do they feel insistent upon ramming their beliefs at you? Why does it matter to them so much that they harass you? If they think you’re going to hell, why not pray for your soul and call it good?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Some of the problem is just general stuff we hear or see on TV — but what happened recently on Facebook was somewhat unusual, because we usually don’t encounter religious fanatics (on purpose, LOL!). But one of my Facebook friends is Catholic and she is accepting of everybody, and has quite a variety of people on her FB, so unfortunately, there was a clash. Anyway, yes, I totally agree! I mean, if they really think we are going to Hell, why not just wave “bye” as we descend? I have never understood that! It is very different than a need to “save” us…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m SO GLAD I just stumbled on this Blog! I can’t wait to follow along : ) My ‘butch’ girl and I are only new loves (6 months), but all this stuff you’re writing about is so fascinating, cheers from Australia, where we STILL don’t have marriage equality : ( G

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, yes, yes…I have no love for any therapy or organization that claims to “cure” homosexuality because a) it’s not a disease and b) it’s immutable. Cray bitch from your last post started trying to convert me, and suggested that I, and you and Dirt, have been abused and that’s why we are “broken.” Wow…all the conversations we had before where I thought she was getting it. Poof.

    Liked by 1 person

      • We all do that, don’t we? But one of the things that characterize us as “real” dykes and faggots is precisely our resistance to being “broken”. One of the hardest and most important things we can do in our brief lives is truly empathize with others whose experience is very different from our own. I’m worse than anybody at that.

        I “used to be” a lesbian too, when I was, like, 8 years old, and if I could re-invent my life, I would def. be a lezzer. I would also be Empress of Austria. Don’t limit me, bitches, I can be both.

        Since I no longer “identify as” Catholic, maybe I have greater freedom to defend that system of thought than Joanna. Unlike Protestantism, which invites you to ask “What would Jesus do?”, catholicism demands that you rake the depths of your soul and answer the question “What would I do if I were Hitler?” [substitute your own notion of evil incarnate].

        God forbid [!!] we get into a religious argy-bargy. There are sites for that. My apologies to Joanna if she feels I have misrepresented catholicism.

        Liked by 1 person

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