Is Aunt Lynn a Boy?

Important Note: This post is by my sweetie, Dirt, and was originally posted here. I wanted to repost it because it illustrates an important example of the kind of situation that happens to Lesbians, particularly Butches, ALL THE TIME.

So, here’s Dirt’s post:

Last Sunday Mrs Dirt and I had breakfast with a niece of mine we hadn’t seen in a while. My niece had with her, my great great nephew-Eli, age 7. Eli we hadn’t seen for about a year. During breakfast Eli incorrectly used a male pronoun toward me, my niece quickly corrected him, then reminded him that they had discussed this earlier when they were on their way down for breakfast. My niece explained to Anna and I the conversation her and Eli had about me being a girl and not a boy, as Eli had, with my niece used an incorrect pronoun regarding myself. This situation is one both my niece and I are used to, as family youngsters have LONG incorrectly assumed I am a male. And like Eli, are perplexed to find out that I am in fact a female.

Anna and I asked Eli what makes me a boy and Anna a girl. His first response was that I had on long shorts. He said girls dont wear long shorts. Anna then said that her shorts were the same length as mine, then asked him if she too is a boy. Eli shook his head emphatically NO. He then said Anna had longer hair and pointed out I had boy hair.

Anna then asked him if he grew his hair out the same length as hers, would he be a girl. He looked icked out and said NO! I told him then that Anna was like Bruce Jenner (he clearly knew who I referenced) and looked at Anna and said jokingly “take off you wig then”!

Eli then looked at my niece and asked ” aunt Lynn is a boy, right?”. My niece said no, Lynn is a girl. I asked him, if I grew my hair out and had shorter shorts, would that make me a girl like Anna. He shook his head no again. He said “you a boy”! He said that all three of us were trying to “fool” him.

Eli went home sure that my actual sex is male. Even when social cues to sex were stripped away, Eli still remained convinced I am male.

Also interesting is, despite being assured that Anna is female, he responded to her very differently than he did/does with my niece. He treated/acted with her as he does me-like he would around males. My niece, he acts like he typically does around women (and by women I most certainly mean straight). He has always been quite the handful, being spoiled by his great granny and my niece doesnt help. Despite not having seen him in quite a while, up until a year ago, I saw him quite often. He acts bananas with women relatives and falls in line if a male relative is around or when I am or now even when Anna is. His response to me is common whenever I’m around children, even children that do not know me, Anna admits to the same in her vast experience with children, related and unrelated.

Even when it is clear that we are female, children respond to us as they would males. I HEAVILY suspect even when it is physically obvious Lesbians are female, we are STILL read as male(ish) via brain processes. It isnt simply that we as Homosexuals have a built in gaydar system for detecting each other, we have a gaydar system that signals to Heterosexuals how to respond to us/treat us.

More examples of Lesbian experiences with being read as male by adult Heterosexuals coming soon.


14 thoughts on “Is Aunt Lynn a Boy?

      • Why would you be “irked” by that. When someone (innocently) misgenders us, we immediately have the upper hand, and our only choice can be whether to ruthlessly exploit the advantage, or charitably help *them* to save face.

        Liked by 1 person

        • I hear you, sibling Lawrences! Back in the 1970s (for those of you with elephantine memories) we were all about abolishing gender, not creating 57 new varieties. Has anyone been following what’s going on in Canada? Have the normally so reliable Bruces and Brucellas lost their collective mind altogether? And in three languages… Ah, well, more work for us translators, there’s always a bright side (-: Maybe we should all learn Hungarian (ungendered pronouns) but that could only drive us a different form of crazy…

          Liked by 1 person

    • I guess you get stiffed with the check too. I love the rare occasions when the waiter presents the bill to my partner, not me. Hey, I get to be the girl! Unless it’s my birthday, we pay Dutch anyway, but a little flight of fancy cheers me up no end.
      What must it be like to be straight, and our playful fantasies be rock-solid reality? I shudder.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. This situation is fascinating—it really shows how people pick up on how butch lesbians are different even from an early age. It also shows that young kids are not able to fully understand the meaning of biological sex differences, and therefore they are certainly not qualified to know that they are “born in the wrong body.” Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. That’s cute. When my great-niece (if that’s how we say it) was 6 or 7 she took to referring to me as “aunty Petie”. A smart and articulate girl, she told her mother “I know he’s not really, but he’s kind like a lady, and knows how to play girls’ games.” My right-on niece corrected her with “we don’t really say ‘lady’, we say ‘woman’, but in any case, you know…”, at which point the little one got impatient and interrupted her with “oh, I KNOW Mummy, I’m not SCHOOPID!”
    I confess I was flattered to be thought of as “kind like a lady”, though knowing “how to play girls’ games” might take on a different complexion in an adult context.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We hung out w/ nephews last year & they kept asking if their aunt M was a boy. When they finally got me alone, I shared that indeed their aunt was a girl. One exclaimed “but she can become a boy!” And I asked them if they thought that was really true, knowing that no matter how much you change the outside, ultimately the insides are the same. They seemed to understand so I asked “well then can aunt M really become a boy?” And they said no. Ages 8-17. So yeah, kids can read certain things, and they can understand other things.

    Part of being gay/lesbian is being able to both read and understand both sex and gender, well focused among our own, but also in understanding heterosexuals & gays of the opposite sex. We know what the gender expressions mean beneath their veneer and how such expressions actually honor the sex they were born in, regardless of gendered expression.

    Any lesbian can well give clear signals about who they are & what their into within about a minute. Call it gaydar or whatever, but in groups, together in a room full of butches & femmes for example, we figure out the nuances between sex and gender expression. Certain girls are the real thing and certain girls try a little harder than they need to. Personally I can spot a natural butch a mile away. I would never be happy with any other kind of woman. It’s my orientation not just sexually but romantically. It’s physical & spiritual.

    No matter what any gender warriors say, there IS a difference between men & women and there is a difference in genders and it all matters. Nuance matters, genitals matter, hearts matter, laws matter, and not promoting lifelong slavery to Big Pharma matters.

    Kids learn to read sex and gender too. I sure hope we consider how understandably confused they are about such matters before we attempt to change them into something science rightly has limits on.

    Liked by 1 person

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