What Straightbians Think “Butch” Means And How They Are Wrong

A very smart friend, Genuine Femme, recently commented on Twitter:

Butch to Straightbians is a term with no meaning beyond fashion choice. And they even get that wrong too!

This quote completely sums up a huge problem with the ongoing bastardization of the meaning of Butch and explains a great deal of the confusion and conflict that Dirt, I, Genuine Femme, and other (REAL) Lesbians experience in trying to reclaim the actual meanings of words from the lying, twisted, claw-like talons of Straightbians.

Here is what Straightbians incorrectly think Butch is:

ANY female (who may be a Lesbian, but quite often is another Straightbian) who does any/all of the following:

  • Cuts her hair short or shaves her head or has a mohawk or has dreadlocks, etc.;
  • Has a copious amount of tattoos and/or piercings and/or body modifications and/or rainbow-colored hair;
  • Wears so-called “men’s” clothes (or even so-called “women’s” clothes that are stereotypically perceived to be “non-feminine”), including, but not limited to, any or all of the following: suits, ties, bow ties, ball caps, trousers, suspenders, Doc Martens, jeans, boxers, vests, cargo pants, leather, etc.;
  • Simply (but incorrectly) calls herself “Butch”;
  • Calls herself “gender nonconforming”, “gender defiant”, “gender deviant”, “gender diverse”, “genderqueer”, “non-binary”, or any other such offensive terms;
  • Incorrectly playacts “Butch” using her own uninformed preconceived notions of “Butch” via her version “acting like a man” (because “male-wannabe” is what she stupidly THINKS “Butch” is!), including, but not limited to, any or all of the following: being hypersexual, typically in a “top”/”Daddy” (ewww!!) sort of way; being domineering or overbearing; swaggering embarrassingly around like Barney Fife on steroids; packing; being sexist (treating her Straightbian like “the little woman” in the relationship); etc.;
  • Eschews femininity” (which is a ridiculous and untrue radfem notion; remember that REAL Lesbians do NOT “eschew feminity”).

The above misconceptions explain how Straightbians (many of whom often incorrectly call themselves “Femmes“) state (with the totally misplaced confidence of the completely ignorant) that “Butches strip” and other such nonsensical, inane claims.

Once again for the numerous seemingly slow-witted Straightbians/others who are perpetuating and/or believing such ridiculousness: 

Many people ask why we continue to insist on calling out the numerous shocking inaccuracies about Butch, Femme, and Lesbian in general. We continue because words have meaning, and the truth matters.

If you find yourself feeling threatened by what we are saying, it’s time to stop and ask yourself why.

Perhaps you already know deep-down, underneath all of your rationalizations and layers of denial, that the life you are living is ONE BIG FAT LIE.

It’s time to face YOUR own demons instead of making demons out of us!

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3 thoughts on “What Straightbians Think “Butch” Means And How They Are Wrong

  1. We used to think we co-owned the word “butch”, but maybe we should just cede it to you now.
    I’m not sure you’re entirely right about the absence of Butches in the movies. If you go back far enough, they *are* there, albeit very negatively and mendaciously portrayed.

    Anyway, thanks for this post, and many others. Kiss Dirt from me.


    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi from both of us! Will give Dirt a kiss from you. I know you already know this, but in case it’s not clear to another reader, I did want to make sure to mention that whenever Dirt & I are using the word Butch, it is meant specifically as the Lesbian term. Also, I do stand by what I said about no (real!) Butches in movies (and Dirt said she agrees); but we’re certainly willing to take a further look if you want to send us names of specific movies…


      • Thanks for explicating my opening (light-hearted) remark about “butch”, for whomever it may be necessary. I try to be scrupulous about capitalizing or not that first letter. In case further explication is required, your readers should also be informed that I’m European, and “kiss” just means pass on my greetings in any way you feel appropriate!

        I don’t normally get mad about being proven wrong, but I’ve scoured the archives, and if the best I can come up with are Lotte Lenya as Rosa Klebb in “From Russia with Live” and Beryl Reid as June “George” Buckridge in “The Killing of Sister George”, I guess I’ve proven myself wrong. That *does* make me hopping mad, not for being wrong, but from the facts themselves, which were clearly more at your fingertips than mine.

        What follows is something I was going to send to you personally by e-mail for criticism, but why not submit it to all your readers? It’s a reply to a 15-y.o. FtM, part of a long discussion on YouTube. The bits of French littered in it are there because s/he is Canadian, and we are both Francophone. Please don’t be offended by my call for more and better Butches; I know you’ve already “captured” the best one! Anyway, everybody’s criticism is welcome: I was well outside my “comfort zone” in writing it.

        “Mon cher Lucas ou Lima (somewhere along the line I seem to have got confused about your name, I blame Blakkset). I can’t figure out why I broke off my last message in mid-sentence, I guess I must have got a phone call or something. Life in retirement seems to be a lot busier than I ever imagined, or intended. I can’t even remember what I was going to say.
        But on this uncharacteristically wet Sunday morning here, I am filled with (my friends might say equally uncharacteristic) bonhomie. “Bonnefemmie”, if it means anything at all, doesn’t quite capture my mood, and makes me feel like I ought to be cooking Sunday Dinner for my family, an unrewarding experience at the best of times: my stepson is a trained cuisinier, though he’s not nearly as rude about my cooking as his Dad is.
        I hope you have not taken anything I have said as personal hostility to you or to any trans person. My quarrel is only with the extreme end of trans ideology and propaganda, and its uncritical acceptance by straight “professionals” who ought to know better. I re-read everything I write before posting, because I live in terror of coming across as “patronizing”: I remember how infuriating I found that when I was your age. But I *am* four times older than you, so, s’il te plait, cut me a little slack in that regard.
        I’m more of an arguer than an advice-giver, least of all about “becoming a man”. As the femmiest of faggots, I had little to contribute even for my own native-male stepson in that regard; but he seems to have turned out OK. I *do* have a little piece of advice, not for you or my son, but for other parents: sow the seeds, feed and water them, then just watch them grow. It’s OK for you to feel that they’re your own special flowers, that you raised, just as long as you know that really…
        Fifteen is the age at which we are becoming who we are. It’s great to be a boy, but being a man is a bit grimmer. If you’re sure in your decision, and set on your course, so be it. It’s a great loss to us: we need more, and better smart butch dykes. Though it must loom large for you now, being male of female, naturally or artificially, is only a little part of who we are. It’s much more important to be the best people we can be, but you seem to have got that covered.
        Me voilà patronisant, comme je me suis promis de ne pas l’être. Pardonne-moi.”

        Liked by 1 person

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