The Top 10 Things Straightbians Say When Told They Are Not Actual Lesbians

1). “Tell that to my girlfriend!”

2). “Here’s a pic of me kissing a woman!”

3). “But I’ve dated (or had sex with) women!”

4). “It is up to every woman to decide what she wants to ‘identify as’!”

5). “I haven’t been with a man since 1993!”

6). “But I love womyn!”

7). “But I went to Michfest!” (Or a women’s march, or a KD Lang concert, etc.).

8). “As Mary Daly said…” (or Sheila Jeffreys or Kate Millett or Andrea Dworkin or Adrienne Rich or any other famous Straightbian).

9). “Who are you, the Lesbian police?”

10). “I like to _______ (insert offensive hypersexual euphemism, usually referring to oral sex).”

News Flash, Straightbians: BEHAVIOR DOES NOT EQUAL ORIENTATION.

It simply does not matter whether you have “eschewed” men (or “eschewed femininity”); whether you have had sex with 1 woman or 4,257,890 women; whether you have had a relationship with a female for 4 minutes or 40 years: NONE of those things makes you a Lesbian.

Being a Lesbian is NOT about what you wear, how you cut your hair, making a political “choice”, “eschewing” men, or who you f*ck (or even whether you f*ck) — nor any other action you take (or don’t take).

You are either born a Lesbian, or you are not one at all.

The End.

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