The Top 10 Things Straightbians Say When Told They Are Not Actual Lesbians

1). “Tell that to my wife/girlfriend!”

2). “Well, here’s a pic of me kissing a woman!”

3). “But I’ve dated/had sex with ___ (number of) women!”

4). “It is up to every woman to decide what she wants to ‘identify as’!”

5). “I haven’t been with a man since (insert year)!”

6). “But I love womyn!” or “But I am a womon-identified-womon!”

7). “But I went to Michfest!” (Or a women’s march, or a KD Lang concert, etc.).

8). “As Mary Daly said…” (or Sheila Jeffreys or Kate Millett or Andrea Dworkin or Adrienne Rich or any other famous Straightbian).

9). “Who are you, the Lesbian police?”

10). “But I really like to _______ (insert offensive hypersexual euphemism, usually referring to oral sex).”


It simply does not matter whether you have “eschewed” men (or “eschewed femininity”); whether you have had sex with 1 woman or 4,257,890 women; whether you have had a relationship with a female for 4 minutes or 40 years: NONE of those things makes you a Lesbian.

Being a Lesbian is NOT about what you wear, how you cut your hair, making a political “choice”, “eschewing” men, or who you f*ck (or even whether you f*ck) — nor any other action you take (or don’t take).

You are either born a Lesbian, or you are not one at all.

The End.

5 thoughts on “The Top 10 Things Straightbians Say When Told They Are Not Actual Lesbians

  1. Sometimes, just for fun, I like to play the “what if it were men?” game. What if the MGTOW crowd who, as I understand it, “eschew women” were to declare themselves “gay”. What if they then went on to assert that their path to “gayness” (being het but getting fed up with women) was the only true one, and we who sparkled up our Mummy’s foo-foo by springing forth in all our bedazzling faggotry were not proper gays at all, because we hadn’t grinded (OK: ground, for the grammarians among you) through all those women before declaring them our oppressive enemy, and turned (in desperation?) to each other?

    Gay men are not known for turfing straight men out of bed on ideological grounds, and it must come as no surprise to lesbians, either, that heterosexuals can make very competent homosexual sex-partners. But CAN YOU IMAGINE we would allow them any more prestigious label than the HIV-inspired “men-who-have-sex-with-men”?

    Get a grip, girls!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hahahaha, good try, but sorry: such inane comments do not upset me. Number 1 thing I say to people like you: Get a life (meaning: a life of your own, NOT one where you continue to appropriate lesbian lives with Straightbian bullshit). And how do I know you are a Straightbian? Simple: Your wishy-washy, passive-aggressive, whiny-ass bitchiness. A real lesbian would not snivel and snark and whine; a real lesbian would confront us directly and with a real and well-thought-out reply about the topic at hand, NOT with some mean-girl nonsense like this drivel, which was intended as a (failed) attempt at a personal insult rather than to attempt any intelligent commentary about the topic. Plus, to be so “triggered” by the Straightbian posts indicates that they are hitting a little too close to home for you. So keep it moving, cupcake. You do not know me, you do not know my wife, you do not know our relationship, you do not know what you are talking about, and most importantly, you are not welcome here.

      Liked by 1 person

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