Straightbian “Logic” 101

Straightbian “Logic” 101:

“Hi! I am a lesbian. Huh? Well, I know I am a lesbian because I LOVE and support womyn! Sending solidarity to my feminist sisters worldwide! I choose to center womyn in my life! And look: Here’s a dream catcher! Also, look at this pic of me kissing my girlfriend. And she’s not the only woman I’ve kissed either! Because I love p***y! Yummy yum yum yum! Could eat it all day! And here’s another pic of me at Michfest, and I am not even wearing a bra! Ha! That proves it! Look at my hairy legs, for the love of goddess! Womyn-born-womyn space is needed & TERF is a slur! Damn it, TERF is a slur! Mary Daly rocks! So does Kate Millett. Also, I once met Rita Mae Brown at a book signing. Plus, I have been no-platformed at least twice. I’ll have you know that I fight The Patriarchy every single day, and it’s hard saying ‘no’ to The Patriarchy! I had to have sex with multiple men before I finally figured out how to say ‘no’ to their perverted male needs! Oh, yeah, and #metoo and #yesallmen! I haven’t slept with a man since at least January, FFS! What is wrong with you? Why don’t you believe me? You **should** support all womyn! If I say I am a lesbian, that’s all you need to know! It’s my identity, not yours! You’re harassing lesbians! It’s harassment and bullying to not agree with me and to not fully support my identity as a lesbian! It’s up to every woman to choose her own sexuality! There’s no such thing as born-that-way, I can make whatever choice I want! Haven’t you heard of #BelieveAllWomen? Who are you to say what a lesbian is anyway?? You’re a man, aren’t you? Yes! You’re an infiltrator! Yes, I see it all very clearly now. Look at your picture, you do look kinda mannish there. Look at those biceps. You’re a TiM! I am going to tell everybody you’re a TiM! I am going to get you banned from Twitter! You are a misogynist chauvinist pig MRA! Waaaaaaaaaaaa! #DirtandMrsDirtSuckAFatOne

17 thoughts on “Straightbian “Logic” 101

  1. This is very accurate and this is why I have been avoiding Twitter lately. I had deleted my old Tweets to start fresh without all of the negativity, but I am afraid it is a losing battle. They will never understand. Their heterosexual privilege will not allow them to see it.

    Liked by 4 people

    • LOL — the answer is that (sadly!) this post is only “sort of” a parody. It is actually a compilation of actual Twitter comments from various Straightbians insisting that, by golly, THEY ARE “LESBIANS” BECAUSE THEY SAY SO. If I included all of their responses, it would be a dissertation, so this post is just a very small sampling of the most common responses…sigh.

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s very hard to parody people whose own utterances sound like self-parody. Sometimes, after commenting on one of your posts, I have a moment of panic, thinking omigod!, maybe somebody doesn’t get that this is satire, and thinks I really believe it.

        Say what you like about the straightbians, they are a rich source of comedy; but I guess you could say the same about the Nazis.

        Liked by 1 person

    • There’s no way to understand it because it makes no sense, LOL! The above is a parody compilation of the nonsense Dirt and I have dealt with on Twitter all the time. (Lately, though, I have been blocking immediately rather than engaging, since it is a total waste of time to have a nonsensical conversation with people who make no sense).

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thrivingout47 Amen to that. It’s relaxing, and in it’s own curious way liberating, when nobody is interested in your opinions any more, and we can leave the grandchildren (both literal and metaphorical) to fight it out among themselves.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Honestly, if you two are so happily married, why do you spend all your time trolling? Happy people generally don’t stalk others online just to write batshit-crazy blog entries about them.

    Liked by 1 person

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