Straightbians: Where Pathology Meets Desperation

In retrospect, I belatedly realize now how incredibly naive I was when I first started blogging and when I first started Twitter. Back then, I actually thought that most people could have respectful discussions and disagreements. Back then, I truly believed that most people who purported to be Lesbians or claimed to be Lesbian allies cared about the welfare of actual Lesbians. Back then, I really thought that it was very, incredibly obvious why real Lesbians would care about owning our own name/lives and therefore, it would be equally obvious why Lesbians would resist the appropriation of our name/lives by non-Lesbians.

I look back now on my own rose-colored glasses and laugh at myself.

Not only was I naive about human nature in general, I also severely underestimated how very many Straightbians are living a lie and stealing our Lesbian name. I underestimated how many self-proclaimed “Lesbians” are not actually Lesbian…sooooooo sooooooo sooooooo very many, in fact, that actual Lesbians are a major minority within our own (alleged) “community“.

Even more importantly, I also severely underestimated their desperate pathology: it turns out that these long-term Straightbians are so desperate and so pathological that they will attack like cornered, rabid animals when their elaborate ruse is even vaguely threatened.

When a Straightbian has staked her entire so-called life and her incredibly fragile sanity on the complete lie that they are a Lesbian, when it is pointed out that it’s impossible for anyone to “magically become a Lesbian“, the true deep disturbance underneath the faux “feminist“/ “sisterlyStraightbian surface quickly rises to a boil, threatening all in it’s toxic path.

Of course, hindsight is 20/20, as the saying goes. It seems very obvious to me now that there is always at least some degree of deep-seated pathology present whenever anyone is living an on-going lie about their true selves; some have more issues than others, clearly; but: some degree of pathology is always present for all long-term liars.

Outside of a very small subset of temporary-Straightbians (who take a brief detour into the “lesbianism” boulevard while on the road to their true destination of HetTown), the vast majority of Straightbians have firmly planted their “identity” flags smack-dab in the center of Lesboville, where they remain for years, even decades — and they are more difficult to eradicate as any other squatters who have taken up residence in a property that is not legally or ethically theirs.

Think about itWhy would anyone live a complete lie on an on-going basis? Why would anyone claim to be a Lesbian if she is really heterosexual? Answer: Because something is wrong with her and that pathology has derailed her ability to be her true self. The underlying reasons may vary: perhaps she was sexually, emotionally, and/or physically abused by males; perhaps she doesn’t have the appropriate assertiveness skills to delineate boundaries in order to achieve a healthy romantic relationship with a male; maybe she is brainwashed into the radfem rhetoric that an all-powerful “Patriarchy” is systematically oppressing her into perpetual sniveling victimhood and the only way to escape it is to “become a Lesbian“; maybe she has made a political decision to “center womyn” (or any other ridiculous spelling of “women”) in her life; maybe she has made money or even an entire career out of her false “identity” as a “Lesbian; maybe she hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates HATES all males to the point where she “identifies” as a “hairy, man-hating Lesbian SCUM-manifesto angry virago harpy #yesallmen” (or any other similarly ridiculously-worded bio) — but, whatever the case, a Straightbian has CHOSEN to attempt to “eschew” her own TRUE heteroSEXual orientation in favor of living the egregious LIE that she is a Lesbian. (Of course, it should be noted that nobody can change who she really is, so all Straightbians’ attempts to “eschew” their own straight selves is a fool’s errand; a Straightbian remains straight whether she has sex with one female or with 1,678,343 females, and she remains straight even if she never has sex with a male — because, as I have said many times previously, behavior does NOT equal orientation).

The ultimate irony about radfem Straightbians should be obvious to anyone with an IQ higher than Diet Dr. Pepper: On Twitter, these hypocrites go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and ON ad nauseum about how transgender individuals should not call themselves “Lesbians“, and about how transgender individuals are purportedly bullying their way into “Lesbian” spaces, yada yada yada, without even apparently fathoming that they, themselves, are DOING THE VERY SAME THING THAT THEY ARE ACCUSING OTHERS OF. These Straightbian charlatans are brazenly appropriating an “identity” that is NOT THEIR OWN; and they have bullied their way into Lesbian lives/spaces in every way imaginable for many, many years now and they continue to do so, even as I am typing.

Also, Straightbians regularly falsely claim that Lesbians are being systematically coerced into sex with males and that Lesbian “sexual agency” is being removed (and endless other wording variations of these lies). While it may be true that some males may indeed ATTEMPT to coerce Lesbians into sex, the truth is that REAL Lesbians aren’t being coerced. If anybody is falling for this crap, it’s Straightbians themselves. Real Lesbians aren’t weak, and we aren’t stupid, and we aren’t gullible to male manipulations. If anyone is literally forcing an actual Lesbian to have sex, that would be called RAPE, which is a freaking crime — and Lesbians certainly wouldn’t simply be #metoo-ing about it on social media — no, Lesbians would be taking concrete action to bring the rapist to justice. The ultimate irony regarding the topic of “sexual agency” that these Straightbians are missing is that it is Straightbians themselves who are the ones who are compromising Lesbian’s “sexual agency” — because by Straightbians LYING about their true orientation to Lesbians, they are removing the Lesbian’s ability to give true informed consent to sex. That, my friends, is the very same purported “rape culture” that these very same Straightbians are always yacking about. Look in the mirror, ladies: YOU are a perpetrator of the very thing you fear most.

Furthermore, radfems of yore initially fervently bought into John Money’s failed experiment because of the misguided premise that, by eradicating the concept of  biological “sex” in favor of “gender”, they could somehow magically socialize everyone into an equality-utopia-wonderland. Now, when things clearly haven’t gone the way they hoped it would in the intervening decades, they have reversed course and are now crying “It’s sex, NOT gender!”. Make up your minds, cupcakes. You can’t have it both ways.

My point with this post is that when I first started blogging (and Twitter), I naively thought that reasonable conversations about such topics were possible, but the sad, stark truth is that Straightbians are not simply not capable of handling balanced, logical discussions. Instead, Straightbians are too buried in their own bullshit; too deeply invested in their own junk bonds; too handcuffed to their own self-made beds; and too busy profiting off of their own copious lies.

Somewhere near the intersection of pathology and desperation, all truth and rationality is completely lost.

10 thoughts on “Straightbians: Where Pathology Meets Desperation

  1. LMAO @ the fake Twitter bio and metooing . I think I’ve seen some real bios that are just like that over the top man hating shit. If your lesbianism is based on man hating you ain’t a lesbian. If I see cotton ceiling one more time my head is going to explode. They can just say no FFS. Thanx 4 saying what others are thinking. A bunch of whiny sheilas.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Yeah, I am glad I went on a Twitter blocking spree (and I got blocked by many of them too) because the incessant whining is enough to drive a lezzie to drink. It is a really big tip-off that the person is a Straightbian if her tweets are obsessing about males in any way. Real Lesbians do not spend our time/energy arguing with or worrying about or bitching about men. Absolutely RiDICKulous. 🙄

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  2. I like Dykes

    I could wax lyrical or rhetorical about how wrong I was (on record) in saying the “Straightbian problem” is exclusively your concern, not ours, but I was quite wrong about that. I don’t have the energy to address the question now, just so you know I acknowledge my error.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Wow! I really laid a trap for myself there, didn’t I? Now I’m obliged to have some intelligent-seeming thoughts on the question, and to tell you about them.

        The workings of my own mind are often a mystery to me, but I *think* my head was in a double orbit around the twin stars of explicitly misogynist male groups like MGTOW, and the “neo-queer” lobby. Gay men, unlike you, have so far largely been spared the phenomenon of men falsely claiming to be gay from political motives. We must be grateful that the MGTOW crowd are by and large homophobic. Not that that’s really any protection: the Catholic Church is homophobic too, but that has never stopped their priests sniffing up our trouser-legs. It would only take a slight shift in the wind for MGTOW to embrace their own re-invented version of homosexuality, and start telling us how we’ve all “got it wrong” for the last four millenia.

        The “queer” crowd got there before them. Real gay people are not “transgressive” except in the obvious, dull sense that we transgress the laws or majority social customs of the wider communities in which we live. Here in Europe or North America, we mostly don’t even do that any more. (Yay for that, we won!) If “transgressivity” is the prime motor of your erotic desire, then you’re not gay, though by all means call yourself “queer”: what you actually are is a dirty straight boy seeking new ways to be dirty. While some real gay people have got sucked into that vortex, people who buy into the neo-queer ideology are basically dirty straight boys. That includes “queer” women.

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        • My (admittedly uninformed) opinion is that the “straightbian” problem exists in both camps, and has similar origins and consequences. Leaving aside the question of whether bisexuality is an innate orientation, what’s clear is that many bisexuals, male and female, have histories of childhood sexual abuse and a preference for fetishistic sexual acts in adulthood.

          The various kinds of bisexual men (autogynephiles, pedophiles who prey on underage boys, hardcore sadomasochists, men who buy trans prostitutes, and right-wing christians who have secret “affairs”) seem to me to be a fundamentally different “type” than homosexuals. I know the accepted story is that these are closeted gay men with internalized homophobia, but they function more like wayward hets for whom gay sex is just another of their many paraphilias.

          I’m not sure what kind of effect the inclusion of bisexual men under the “gay umbrella” has on the community, but I do think they cynically use the political/social cred won by homosexuals as a cover for their behavior. The queer/trans ideology does particularly attract bisexuals of both sexes, possibly because it celebrates kink, “sexual fluidity”, and so-called gender nonconformity.

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        • Sorry for the delay in replying! I was thinking about it, and I admit that I am not familiar with male bisexuals. I don’t know any bisexual males personally, and only know of one indirectly (a friend of a friend) and have “heard of” others over the years — other friends of friends, as well as the ones who make the news like who you mentioned above (politicians, etc.). From what little I have observed/heard, I totally agree. They do seem like a totally different “type” than gay males. Their behavior/motivation seems compulsion-driven rather than innate orientation. For instance, the friend of a friend really struggles and “identifies as” (ugh! I hate those terms!) straight. He is married to a female and basically lives a straight life for as long as possible, until his compulsion to have sex with men takes over and he disappears for a few days, then comes back, feels incredibly guilty, goes back to his wife for a long time…then rinse and repeat…forever. I think you are onto something. Interesting topic, Dirt and I were recently talking about these “male Straightbians”, so to speak. I always love hearing your thoughts, thanks!

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  3. While I think it’s valid for lesbians to be discerning regarding men who call themselves lesbians …your point about straightbians doing the same thing is completely accurate. Makes me think the current state of lesbianism in the west has been a long process of academic lies.

    Another thought is that right now it seems increasingly difficult to have conversations with anyone who may disagree on just about any topic. Instead of respectful debate or a willingness to fully listen then think & assess points w/ feedback – many just stick their fingers in their ears and say no no no & cow-tow to group think. Maybe it’s always been this way, but social media highlights this dynamic dramatically.

    And I’m sorry about the loss of your beloved cat.

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