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Radical Feminist Disconnect: Lessons in Entitled Inconsistencies

In writing extensively about STRAIGHTBIANS, particularly Radical Feminist STRAIGHTBIANS, there is an acute disconnect Mrs. Dirt and I see LITERALLY LITERALLY (did I say literally yet?) LITERALLY daily, which is the complete and utter disconnect between what Radical Feminist STRAIGHTBIANS claim is impossible for specific others versus what they claim is entirely possible for themselves.

Previously, we have pointed out the double-blind-opposite-sides-of-the-same-coiness between RadFems and Trans persons; today we will delve deeper into the first of many ways Radical Feminists display willful-obtuse-obstinate-Het-privileged-egocentric-illogical disconnect between their own strongly held tenets of faith. Bear in mind, these examples are only a drop in the bucket of an otherwise ocean of idiocy.

Example #1:

Radical Feminist Claim 1A: “Trans women aren’t women” (meaning males cannot choose to become females). This ad nauseum, poorly-worded refrain has been running through RadFem circle jerks for at least forty years. Despite its ubiquitousness, each and every time it is uttered on social media/academia, it is somehow treated like the discovery of gold amongst beggars.

Radical Feminist Conflicting Claim 1B: “Any woman can choose to become a Lesbian.” Equally vomitous and equally plethoric on/in social media/academia; this bullshit claim is the hallmark of Radical Feminism/STRAIGHTBIANISM everywhere.

The Disconnect: In claim 1A, Radical Feminists clearly understand the biological reality that one sex cannot choose to change into another; not through drugs, not through surgeries, and not through laws. However, in claim 1B, biological reality is completely denied in favor of identity politics. Radical Feminists claim to be “Amazons against identity politics”, claim identity politics harm girls/women, yet fail to see the irony of using and abusing identity politics to co-opt Lesbian, claim Lesbian, and commodify Lesbian (a BIOLOGICAL reality verboten to Heterosexuals via HOMOSEXUAL BIOLOGY!).

Privileged Het women claiming Lesbian for various personal or political reasons has been green-lighted by Radical Feminists; while males doing the EXACT same thing to women (privilege also intact) is viewed/treated as RAPE culture! Therefore, if men parading around as women is RAPE, then what the f**k are Radical Feminist parading around as Lesbians?

Radical Feminists have long claimed males masquerading as women (including drag queens) are RAPING “woman” as an idea; while Radical Feminist STRAIGHTBIANS masquerading as Lesbians are having sexual relations WITH actual Lesbians WITHOUT those actual Lesbians having the knowledge to give INFORMED consent.

That, my friends, is not merely a disconnect, that is FUCKING R*A*P*E!!!!!!!

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt

PS: Our next example will appear in a few days. Stay tuned.

Time for a Pop Quiz!

Here’s a quick pop quiz to test basic reasoning skills.

Just answer “Yes” or “No” to each of the questions below:

1). Can a cat become a dog?

2). Can a pickle become a potato chip?

3). Can a horse become a cowboy?

4). Can chocolate become vanilla?

5). Can a tree become a rock?

6). Can a gay man or a lesbian become straight?

7). Can an Android become an iPhone?

8). Can a fork become a spoon?

9). Can a fish become a cow?

10). Can a heterosexual woman become a lesbian?

If you answered “No” to ALL of the questions on this quiz, congratulations! You are officially smarter than many people who have a Ph.D.!

If you answered “Yes” to ANY of the questions on this quiz, have fun living in La-La Land.

Sheila Jeffreys Officially Confirms That She Is a Straightbian

An alert reader (thanks!) spotted this hilarious attempted smack-down of Dirt by “Academic Straightbian SusieSheila Jeffreys, and sent us this comedic screencap taken from Sheila’s latest treatise, “The Lesbian Revolution: Lesbian Feminism in the UK 1970-1990” (2018):

Sheila J Dirt

After nearly choking to death laughing our Lesbian asses off, we decided to do a post about how good old Sheila mistakenly thinks she is so clever, but, in fact, she simply and  naively PROVES the very points we made about her and her Straightbian cohorts.

Okay, so let’s break down Sheila’s sad attempt at dissing Dirt:

1). Sheila claims that Dirt is “no feminist“; apparently mistaking that snarky quip for an insult. Well, no shit, Sherlock; Dirt has never claimed to be a radical feminist. In fact, Dirt is proud to NOT be a radical feminist because she is not a fan of delusional drivel. (And ditto with Mrs. Dirt, by the way). Duh.

2). Sheila, while purporting to be a “feminist” herself, seemingly willfully “forgets” to cite Mrs. Dirt as the equal co-author of the entire Unstraightening Lesbian series. As a Academic Straightbian Susie herself, Sheila clearly should be familiar with the rules of citation; after all, she is quite well known for infamously citing herself at every opportunity. Her intentional lack of citation shows that her “feminist” principles apparently do not include the fact that a Lesbian partner/co-author as being worthy of recognition — which is actually not very feminist after all, now is it? Think about it.

3). Poor Sheila apparently lacks reading comprehension skills and/or even the most basic of accurate reporting skills. Neither of us have EVER said that “women who have ever related sexually to men can never become lesbians.” In fact, we have both written about “Later-In-Life Lesbians“. What we have said is that NOBODY can “become a Lesbian. You either are born a Lesbian, or you are not one at all. Some Lesbians may initially attempt to please their families/society/church/etc. by marrying a man, then later come out as a Lesbian. But guess what? THEY WERE LESBIANS ALL ALONG, EINSTEIN. You know who isn’t a Lesbian, and never will be, though, Sheila et al.? A HETEROSEXUAL female who chooses (for whatever reason) to partner with another female, that’s who. For approximately the millionth time: Behavior does NOT equal orientation. Geez, Sheila. Do try to keep up, dear.

4). Sheila writes, “She (Dirt) says that I am not and have never been a lesbian because I was once heterosexual; rather, I am a ‘straightbian'”. Um, yeah, exactly. BINGO! Ding ding ding, Sheila wins a prize! Yes, that is exactly what we are saying, Sheila: IF YOU ARE A HETEROSEXUAL, sweetie, YOU ARE NOT A FREAKING LESBIAN. You are one or you are the other; you can never be both, nor can you switch back and forth. Sheila states clearly here in this passage that she was, in fact, born a HETEROSEXUAL. Ergo, Sheila is NOT A LESBIAN (nor is any other Straightbian), nor has she ever been, nor will she ever be. Which, of course, is the entire point of the Unstraightening Lesbian series.

5). Sheila goes on to babble some bullshit about butchness, then culminates her blather with this “brilliant” (NOT!) thought: “This jockeying for position and for authenticity, for the status of ‘real ones’, creates bitter divisions between lesbians. It also creates a barrier to heterosexual women choosing to become lesbians.” First of all, we aren’t jockeying for “position” — but: we are saying that the plethora of NON-Lesbians (AKA Straightbians), like Shoddy Sheila herself, who have found fame and fortune while arrogantly speaking for Lesbians are wrong and harmful to real Lesbians in a myriad of ways. Secondly, standing up for Lesbian truth and authenticity does not “create bitter divisions between lesbians” — instead, it creates bitter divisions between real Lesbians and fake-ass Straightbians. (Good riddance too. Bye, bye, don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, ladies). Finally, YES: We do, in fact, strive to create a barrier to heterosexual women who falsely claim that they “choose to be Lesbians“. Why? Well, let’s all just THINK about it — we have confidence that even the dullest knife in the drawer is capable of seeing the irony in Sheila’s statement. Yes, IF SOMEONE IS HETEROSEXUAL, SHE IS NOT A LESBIAN. Duh. Sheila freely admits in this passage that she and her cohorts are, in fact, HETEROSEXUAL…which makes Sheila and The Straightbians — wait for it, wait for it — NOT FREAKING LESBIANS. FFS.

6). Neither of us have ever said that females can’t/shouldn’t make a choice to partner with other females. Of course, we recognize that everybody has a right to live their lives any way they see fit. So, go for it, straight chickadees, and do whatever you want…but just know that you are wrong, unethical, and immoral if you call yourself a “Lesbian”.

7). Thanks, Sheila, for publicly admitting what we have been saying all along: that you and others in our Unstraightening Lesbian series are, in fact, HETEROSEXUALS. Being a Lesbian is not a choice, dear, and it’s terribly privileged and arrogant for you and others to claim that it is. Publishing idiotic drivel like the quote above simply reinforces the clueless, twisted, entitled egocentrism of Straightbians: especially the self-proclaimed “lesbian experts” who are neither Lesbians nor experts.

8). LOL at “Although all ‘butch’ lesbians are not as hostile as Dirt…“. Here’s the thing about that quote: Sheila doesn’t even know what Butch means, nor does she actually know a real Butch, but regardless: yes, Dirt is contemptuous toward charlatans, fakes, liars, and frauds…AKA: STRAIGHTBIANS. And so is Mrs. Dirt. It is always interesting that whenever real Lesbians try to stick up for ourselves and push back against the relentless appropriation of our name/lives by NON-Lesbians like Sheila Straightbian, we are called rude, hostile, etc. Hell, many times, we are even accused of being males. The fact that Straightbians cannot even understand what we are saying, nor relate to how we are saying it, is even more proof that Lesbians are different than straight women.

9). Kindly take your radical feminist malarkey and shove it way, way far up your…well, you know.

Dirt & Mrs. Dirt

Image 45

You still are, Sheila. You always will be.

The Aftermath of Avital Ronell: When The True Homophobia Of “Queer” Is Revealed

I always say that if you look closely enough, people’s true colors will eventually be revealed, and that fact has been recently demonstrated very clearly (and queerly!) in the aftermath of the Avital Ronell debacle. One has to look no further than “Ms. Queer Theory” herself, Judith Butler, to see the startling (and, yes, ironic) homophobia that is always lurking underneath the guise of “Queer“. This ever-present, underlying homophobia always rears its disgusting head whenever gay men and/or Lesbians assert our boundaries and our rights to our own homosexual lives/names.

It is, for example, quite revealing that Butler chose to defend herqueer” (NOT LESBIAN!!!!) friend/colleague, Avital Ronell, against the proven-true accusations of sexual harassment of a gay man, while questioning the gay man’s motives and character. Although Butler subsequently issued an “apology when she faced the consequences of her own actions, it was too little, too late, too fake, and too self-serving to make a difference.

Heads-Up Homosexuals: “Queers” and all who support Queer Theory rhetoric and the never-ending, increasingly ridiculous “LGBTQQIP2SAA+++++++” acronym are NOT us, they are NOT our friends, and they are NOT our allies. It is WAY past time to get the L out and get the G out, and get back to the basics of focusing on the rights/lives of ACTUAL homosexuals and leave the rest of the acronym to stew in their own toxic juices.

The following are Dirt’s posts regarding the Ronell fiasco and its aftermath:

First post:

How do you defend a Sexual Harasser? Just ask Dr. Judith Butler:

In lieu of a full post at this time (I WILL be posting one), I did none the less want to address a smidge of the absolute nutfuckery going on in academia, particularly Judith Butler’s leap before she looked defense of NYU’s queer (and by queer I mean strangeprof Avital Ronell.

Queer BFFs

In May of this year Judith Butler sent a letter to NYU president and provost, which she had already previously solicited for signatures to hundreds of academics around the globe regarding a sexual harassment case (that at this point unbeknownst to Butler her buddy Avital Ronell had been found guilty).

I leave readers with Judith Butler’s letter in conjunction with some of the many many many many many many many many many (did I say many?) psycho nutfuck statements made by Prof Ronell and related quotes:

Dear President Hamilton and Provost Fleming,

            We write as long-term colleagues of Professor Avital Ronell who has been under investigation by the Title IX offices at New York University.  Although we have no access to the confidential dossier
(Side Note: Because who needs access to pesky facts when we have Prof Ronell’s less than sound mind and flamboyant character as validation?)

we have all worked for many years in close proximity to Professor Ronell and accumulated collectively years of experience to support our view of her capacity as teacher and a scholar, but also as someone who has served as Chair of both the Departments of German and Comparative Literature at New York University.  We have all seen her relationship with students,

 “When I was a graduate student in the NYU German department, both she and ********* tormented students, postdocs, and staff with their narcissistic personality disorders, their choleric fits, and yes, their sexual harassment.” (from Facebook post of former NYU student)

and some of us know the individual who has waged this malicious campaign against her.  We wish to communicate first in the clearest terms our profound an enduring admiration for Professor Ronell whose mentorship of students

 “I now need to tell her I  love her, meet her on weekends for ‘fun’ and  am completely dispossessed of anything that is (or was) my life…” (Reitman re: Ronell)

 has been no less than remarkable over many years. We deplore the damage that this legal proceeding causes her, and seek to register in clear terms our objection to any judgment against her.  We hold that the allegations against her do not constitute actual evidence, 

 “Hi my darling Nimrod, I am a bit weepy and confused, a normal  aftermath I suppose, and also a response to the sepa ration from you …  But I will try to gain some ground with a visit to shrinky – winky and see if I can’t develop another kind of report for you! …So many kisses for my guardian angel.” (Ronell to Reitman)

 but rather support the view that malicious intention has animated and sustained this legal nightmare.

As you know, Professor Ronell has changed the course of German Studies, Comparative Literature, and the field of philosophy and literature over the years of her teaching, writing, and service.  

  “…I was crying when I did not hear back from you. It was a hard  night, but I’m pulling together….” (Ronell to Reitman)

She is responsible for building the field of literary studies at New York University, but also throughout Europe as a result of her brilliant scholarship and spirit of intellectual generosity.  

  “…I forgot to tell you how much and how deeply and how  importantly and how eternally how seriously I love you … I loved our  time together today. It was beautiful, it was gorgeous. It was a  blessing. You ’ re a blessing. And I want  to affirm it and celebrate it and  you and tell you how much you mean to me, how fortunate I feel…”(Ronell to Reitman)

Her students now teach at leading research institutions in the US, France, and Germany, and her intellectual influence is felt 

 My most adored one, dear Nimrod, … When for instance you said the  other day that you felt that we spoke enough, or even a lot, on the  phone, the incommensurateness of my demand began to dawn on me,  and I thought I realized that you were asking that I dial it down. Very  reasonably. … There was a time when you said I had limitless calling  privileges (a lovely fantasy for me, part of internal dream machine,  which I thought I had translated and kept moderate)…” (Ronell to Reitman)

throughout the humanities, including media and technology studies, feminist theory, and comparative literary study.   There is arguably no more important figure in literary studies at New York University than Avital Ronell whose intellectual power 

  “Loving you downtown and all around the town!” (Ronell to Reitman)

and fierce commitment to students 

 My sweet delight, dear Nimrod,  … I miss you strongly! … I will hold  you close to my heart silently, as I once did, and just listen to your  intimate rhythm, heart, heart, your breathing, heart, heart. I liked  when you would drift off and I could lose myself in your soft breathing.  I’m not sure you remember, because, well, you had drifted off. I asked  for those moments to last forever!…” (Ronell to Reitman)

and colleagues has established her as an exemplary intellectual and mentor throughout the academy.  As you know, she is the Jacques Derrida Chair of Philosophy 

Ronell began an affair with Derrida’s son Pierre while she was staying with the family for the Christmas holidays in 1979, when she was 27 and Pierre was 16. They moved in together the following year (after Pierre’s graduation from high school)

at the European Graduate School and she was recently given the award of Chevalier of Arts and Letters by the French government. 
We testify to the grace, 

“Most  cherished…Cock~erspaniel” (Ronell to Reitman)

the keen wit, 

  “I wish I could kidnap you…Baby, let me massage your feet…” (Ronell to Reitman)

 and the intellectual commitment of Professor Ronell 

 Now lets cuddle like cubs” (Ronell to Reitman)

  and ask that she be accorded the dignity rightly deserved by someone of her international standing and reputation. 

“…get your ass back home, darling …I am sorry I ever let you go!” (Ronell to Reitman)

 If she were to be terminated or relieved of her duties, the injustice would be widely recognized and opposed.  The ensuing loss for the humanities, for New York University, and for intellectual life 

 did you find your  phallus?” (Ronell to Reitman)

during these times would be no less than enormous and would rightly invite widespread and intense public scrutiny.   We ask that you approach this material with a clear understanding of the long history of her thoughtful and successive mentorship, 

“My dearest Nimrod, … I am deeply sorry when I fail at distance, at  least sometimes (but not always) and that I suffer your absence with  such inelegance. I hope you can continue to have and hold compassion  and not feel a downturn in our tremendous closeness at all times, … I  simply wanted to talk to you. You had told me that we would do so  quite a lot: I didn’t realize this was  something very hard for me to  calibrate and assimilate…” (Ronell to Reitman)

the singular brilliance of this intellectual, the international reputation she has rightly earned as a stellar scholar in her field, 

 “…didn’t mean to sound desperate. If you need space it’s OK, just tell Me what’s right for you. I can’t figure it out without your help and Insight and prompts!” (Ronell to Reitman)

her enduring commitments to the university, and the illuminated world she has brought to your campus where colleagues and students thrive in her company and under her guidance.  

 “You look gorgeous; Couldn’t keep my eyes off you!” (Ronell to Reitman)

She deserves a fair hearing, one that expresses respect, dignity, and human solicitude in addition to our enduring admiration.”

Conclusion of 11-month Title IX Investigation: Ronell was found by NYU to have physically and verbally sexually harassed Reitman over a sustained period of time. 

Sincerly,

Judith Butler et al

Second post:

Academic Circle Jerk: Judith Butler; Avital Ronell; J Jack Halberstam; Antu Sorainen:

While not the post intended next, due to the un-fucking-believable levels of Homophobia, this is my next post.

In relation to my last post regarding Judith Butler‘s warped love letter to NYU, crusading for the safe return of sexual harasser Avital Ronell, it seems Butler has gone all fickle toward Ronell (mostly because a rightful shitstorm blew her way, as well as Butler realising Ronell’s personal emails/phone calls to Butler regarding the situation, were flat out lies)! That being the case, Butler has issued an apology letter, of sorts (she’s praying for a get-out-of-jail-free-card-she does NOT deserve one!):

 To the Editor:
I can only speak for myself since the signatories of the letter addressed to the NYU administration regarding the sexual harassment charges brought against Avital Ronell are not a group with a single view, and different authors helped to craft the draft version of the letter that appeared online without our consent (“Battle Over Alleged Harassment Escalates as Former Graduate Student Sues Professor and NYU,”The Chronicle, August 16). When the signatories learned that termination of employment for Ronell was under consideration by NYU, we were bewildered by the severity of this possible sanction. We understood she was accused (“We hold that the allegations against her do not constitute actual evidence, but rather support the view that malicious intention”…Butler took a sexual predictor’s word over evidence that existed BUT which she did not possess) of conducting a “romantic friendship” and that her emails had been scrutinized for evidence of a sexual relationship.
Our aim was not to defend her actions — we did not have the case in hand — but to oppose the termination of her employment as a punishment. (Meaning, Butler and crew regardless of Ronell’s academic iniquities didnt/dont believe Ronell should have been harshly punished-a simple writing on the blackboard I was a bad girl ten times would suffice.) Such a punishment seemed unfair given the findings as we understood them. In hindsight, those of us who sought to defend Ronell against termination surely ought to have been more fully informed of the situation if we were going to make an intervention. (Not so loosely translates to Ronell fucking LIED to me about her sexually harassing a Gay man for years!) 

Moreover, the letter was written in haste (ya think?!) and the following are my current regrets about it. First, we ought not to have attributed motives to the complainant, even though some signatories (namely Judith Butler!) had strong views on this matter. The claims of sexual harassment have too often been dismissed by discrediting the complainant, (by people like Butler!) and that nefarious tactic has stopped legitimate claims from going forward and exacerbated the injustice. When and where such a claim proves to be illegitimate, it should be demonstrated on the basis of the evidence alone. (Really? No shit!)

Second, we should not have used language that implied that Ronell’s status and reputation earn her differential treatment of any kind. Status ought to have no bearing on the adjudication of sexual harassment. (Butler makes perfectly clear though, it DOES make a difference!) All faculty should be treated the same under Title IX protocols, that is, subject to the same rules and, where justified, sanctions.
Immediately after the confidential draft letter was published online, I was in direct communication with the MLA officers (the executive director, the president and the first vice president) to apologize (Ass kissing and boot licking, NOT because Butler had regrets BUT because Butler fucked up!) for the listing of my position within the organization after my name. I acknowledged that I should not have allowed the MLA affiliation to go forward with my name. I expressed regret to the MLA officers and staff, and my colleagues accepted my apology. I extend that same apology to MLA members.
We all make errors in life and in work. (The destruction of a person’s career/livelihood before its even begun isnt a fucking simple “error”, its a fucking homophobic travesty!) The task is to acknowledge them, as I hope I have, and to see what they can teach us as we move forward.
Judith Butler
Maxine Elliot Professor in the Department of Comparative Literature and the Program of Critical Theory
University of California at Berkeley

But Butler’s ass-kissing apology letter isn’t solely what this post is about, this post is about the sheer clear homophobia that the Ronell/Reitman injustice is displaying by feminist academics across the globe. (All screencaps below were public at the time of my capping them).

Witness the HOMOPHOBIC Het hissy fit from STRAIGHTBIAN  academic (Professor at Columbia UniversityJudith (jack) Halberstam’s Facebook:

 

Judy, its been made perfectly clear Butler’s ethics are subject to use ONLY when fearing the higher powers that be.

Perloff correctly clarifies Judy’s warped version of events — and crickets. Nobody fucks with MP!

rightfully angry GAY man makes some point blank statements and per usual whenever a Gay man or a Lesbian speak, Het women are there to call him (us) out for being…wait for it…wait for it….MACHO! Wow! That sure told him, they thought, as well as disproved his spot the fuck on points! NOT!

Mr. Hass nails Judith Butler’s motives and actions exactly; victim-blamed-victim-shamed-tried to influence a Title IX investigation!  After Mr. Hass, and his rightful reaction to Homophobia is ignored (by feminists), and his correct summation of events attacked (by feminists) and the truth he states repeatedly are dismissed (by feminists), a by now VERY angry Mr Hass says regarding Butler’s position “fire this homophobic anti-male cunt“. Mr Hass edits out cunt (although personally I wouldn’t have as its a more than adequate term under the circumstance (cunt meaning: Insulting term of address for people who are stupid, irritating or ridiculous”). But of course where feminists of any sort are concerned, Mr. Hass and his correct points are reduced to:

Calling Judith Butler an “anti-male cunt” isn’t the actual definition of misogyny”, and where a college feminist professor fails to distinguish between her own personal (and I might add overemotional) feelings against facts, blatant homophobia and a Gay man’s anger over ignored Homophobia by Het women, Halberstam should also be fired!

But Judy Halberstam’s hissy fit doesn’t stop there, nor stop with Judy Halberstam:

Antu is as Heterosexual and Homophobic as Judy Halberstam and equally incapable of using reason/facts over Het female emotionalism. Antu’s hysterics pinball her from Halberstam/Ronell to that which has absolutely nothing to do with the case at hand (Avital Ronell was found GUILTY of sexual harassment!). Antu prefers to ignore the actual case, the actual information contained in the case and prefers to (when she isn’t too busy) share good links, i.e. Homophobic feminist links that paint Homophobic sexual harassers as saints and Homosexuals as demons! Antu’s ravings spawn from another Judy Halberstam maddened tirades: 

If Halberstam thinks Butler has ethics, I say again, Halbertsam has NO right to teach, period! Halbertsam’s blind allegiance to her own Homophobia and that of Homophobic cunts (people who are stupid, irritating or ridiculous) is proof positive she and anyone who support Homophobia in any form have no business working with the public, at…fucking…all!

Avital Ronell’s sexual harassment of a Gay man AND the reaction by other (mostly) female/feminist academics and the like, have made it perfectly clear just how far Homosexuals, Homosexual rights, Homosexuals right to equality and how accepting Heterosexuals are of (real biological) Homosexuals have come (Spoiler: NOT VERY FAR):

  1. Homosexuals DO NOT MATTER!
  2. Homosexual rights DO NOT MATTER!
  3. Homosexuals personal boundaries DO NOT MATTER!
  4. Homosexual equality DOES NOT MATTER!
  5. Believing the word of a Homosexual over that of a Heterosexual Harasser DOES NOT MATTER!
  6. Homosexual documentation of Heterosexual harassment DOES NOT MATTER!
  7. Homosexual relationships DO NOT merit the same legitimacy as Heterosexual relationships!
  8. The feelings of Homosexuals over that of Heterosexuals DO NOT MATTER!
  9. Homosexuality IS a slum for warped Heterosexual women to lounge, play, feel special and garner a career!
  10. Homosexuals lives, experiences, narratives and shared biology DOES NOT MATTER!

The Official Straightbian Guide To Becoming A “Lesbian Expert” On Social Media

Attention: Straightbians! Have you ever thought how nice it would be to show the world your “Lesbian expertise”? Would you like to get your slice of the “Lesbian pie” and the attention and adoration of other Straightbians, “feminists”, “gender-critical” individuals, and all other straight people on social media? Hey, if you are lucky, and if you meet what heterosexual society deems as attractive, you too may get the opportunity to write for a popular “Lesbian magazine” or to be a contributor to a popular “Lesbian website”! Wouldn’t that be exciting? If this is everything you have ever dreamed of, never fear, you’ve come to the right place! This handy-dandy guide will take you from an obscure typical straight female to an internationally celebrated “Lesbian expert” quicker than you can spell Straightbian!

You may be wondering how to get started. Yes, it can indeed be a daunting prospect to create a fake persona based on a precarious balance of delusional self-deception and egocentric self-promotion, but hey! If many others do it every single day, you can too! Don’t let little problems like the truth or basic human decency deter you from your life goals! With just a little polishing of your “identity”, you will be ready to bask in your social media presence as a “Lesbian expert” in no time at all!

First, if you aren’t already posing as “a Lesbian”, you will have to “come out as a Lesbian”, but that is no problem at all! But before we jump the tiny hurdle of “coming out”, you will need to decide on the type of “Lesbian” you want to be:

Type A: The Sexy Straightbian: To be this type of Straightbian, all you need to do is to be fluent in the straight-male-fantasy-of-“Lesbian”. Pouty lips? Check! Smoky eyes? Check! Stilettos? Check! Pretty girlfriend? Check! A willingness to take sexy pics of yourself in various revealing poses, such as the ever-popular “doggie skyscraper“, while calling it “Lesbian”? Check check CHECK!

Type B: The Sexless Straightbian: Hate men? Check! #YesAllMen? Check! “Eschew” makeup? Check! Love the work of Sheila Jeffreys? Check! Ready to Smash The Patriarchy? Check check CHECK!

Now that you have selected your type, be sure to build upon it!

If you have selected Type A, feel free to embellish with all the accoutrements of your sexy persona. Take that pole dancing class! Buy a velvet sofa! Visit Victoria’s Secret and splurge on some hot lingerie! Wax those pubes! You’re worth it!

If you have selected Type B, go even deeper into character. Shave one side of your head! Buy some Doc Martens! Rip those Levi’s! Read some Andrea Dworkin! “Eschew” shaving! Call yourself “Butch”! Why not? The “Lesbian” world is your oyster, so get ready to suck it dry!

The deeper you go into your “Lesbian” character, the more you can profit, so go for it! Give it Hell, ladies! Meryl Streep herself couldn’t sell it like you can! Believe in yourself!

Okay, now that your Straightbian persona is sorted, now you can move on to “coming out”! How? Simple! Just say “I’m a Lesbian”! Other Straightbians, “feminists”, “gender-critical” individuals, and all other straight people will automatically believe you! Boom! Done!

Now, proceed to bombard social media with your “Lesbian life”. Aggressively follow and support other Straightbians ad nauseum. Building a “Lesbian community” is essential to your success as a Straightbian! Make sure to include numerous pics of yourself with another female, because that will be “proof-positive” of your “identity” as a “Lesbian”!

Take some time to review your social media friends’ tweets/posts/pics/hashtags/videos/etc. and proceed to copy them enthusiastically! Don’t worry that you don’t know what you are talking about! Nobody will notice, since they are all saying the same thing! Groupthink is your best friend! Rinse and repeat until “Lesbian” fame and fortune are yours!

No guide would be complete without a few words of caution. Beware of real Lesbians who may try to rain on your Straightbian parade. Current estimates of the number of these Lesbian “bullies” range from “a couple” to “a mob”. Regardless, should you encounter one of these annoying naysayers, simply repeatedly claim that you ARE a “Lesbian” BECAUSE YOU SAY SO. If necessary, make numerous sock-puppet accounts to support yourself in your own arguments! Call upon your Straightbian “sisters” to jump in and support you too! There is strength in numbers, and rest assured that Straightbians will always way outnumber real Lesbians! Don’t worry that you have no idea what it really means to be a Lesbian! Remain firm in your conviction that it is your right…indeed, it is your privilege…to claim “lesbianism” for yourself! When an argument with a real Lesbian gets heated, always be sure to mention “rape culture”, “racism”, “sexism”, “The Patriarchy”, and/or “misogyny”! That always works to derail a conversation! Don’t worry that what you are saying is completely irrelevant to the discussion! Most importantly, always make sure to call your Lesbian opponents “male” and to insult their appearance! Finally, be sure to report them to social media for “bullying” and encourage other Straightbians to do so also. All that is important in these senseless battles is for you to emerge with your “Lesbian” “identity” fully intact amongst your target group.

In summary, with just a few simple steps, you too will be well on your way to firmly establishing your Straightbian social media empire as a “Lesbian expert”. Go you! Feel good about yourself as you bask in the fragile glory of internet presence. Your past days of ennui and angst are but a distant memory. You are the very Straightbian image of “Lesbian” personified now…let’s hear you roar!

Straightbian “Logic” 101

Straightbian “Logic” 101:

“Hi! I am a lesbian. Huh? Well, I know I am a lesbian because I LOVE and support womyn! Sending solidarity to my feminist sisters worldwide! I choose to center womyn in my life! And look: Here’s a dream catcher! Also, look at this pic of me kissing my girlfriend. And she’s not the only woman I’ve kissed either! Because I love p***y! Yummy yum yum yum! Could eat it all day! And here’s another pic of me at Michfest, and I am not even wearing a bra! Ha! That proves it! Look at my hairy legs, for the love of goddess! Womyn-born-womyn space is needed & TERF is a slur! Damn it, TERF is a slur! Mary Daly rocks! So does Kate Millett. Also, I once met Rita Mae Brown at a book signing. Plus, I have been no-platformed at least twice. I’ll have you know that I fight The Patriarchy every single day, and it’s hard saying ‘no’ to The Patriarchy! I had to have sex with multiple men before I finally figured out how to say ‘no’ to their perverted male needs! Oh, yeah, and #metoo and #yesallmen! I haven’t slept with a man since at least January, FFS! What is wrong with you? Why don’t you believe me? You **should** support all womyn! If I say I am a lesbian, that’s all you need to know! It’s my identity, not yours! You’re harassing lesbians! It’s harassment and bullying to not agree with me and to not fully support my identity as a lesbian! It’s up to every woman to choose her own sexuality! There’s no such thing as born-that-way, I can make whatever choice I want! Haven’t you heard of #BelieveAllWomen? Who are you to say what a lesbian is anyway?? You’re a man, aren’t you? Yes! You’re an infiltrator! Yes, I see it all very clearly now. Look at your picture, you do look kinda mannish there. Look at those biceps. You’re a TiM! I am going to tell everybody you’re a TiM! I am going to get you banned from Twitter! You are a misogynist chauvinist pig MRA! Waaaaaaaaaaaa! #DirtandMrsDirtSuckAFatOne

Straightbians: Where Pathology Meets Desperation

In retrospect, I belatedly realize now how incredibly naive I was when I first started blogging and when I first started Twitter. Back then, I actually thought that most people could have respectful discussions and disagreements. Back then, I truly believed that most people who purported to be Lesbians or claimed to be Lesbian allies cared about the welfare of actual Lesbians. Back then, I really thought that it was very, incredibly obvious why real Lesbians would care about owning our own name/lives and therefore, it would be equally obvious why Lesbians would resist the appropriation of our name/lives by non-Lesbians.

I look back now on my own rose-colored glasses and laugh at myself.

Not only was I naive about human nature in general, I also severely underestimated how very many Straightbians are living a lie and stealing our Lesbian name. I underestimated how many self-proclaimed “Lesbians” are not actually Lesbian…sooooooo sooooooo sooooooo very many, in fact, that actual Lesbians are a major minority within our own (alleged) “community“.

Even more importantly, I also severely underestimated their desperate pathology: it turns out that these long-term Straightbians are so desperate and so pathological that they will attack like cornered, rabid animals when their elaborate ruse is even vaguely threatened.

When a Straightbian has staked her entire so-called life and her incredibly fragile sanity on the complete lie that they are a Lesbian, when it is pointed out that it’s impossible for anyone to “magically become a Lesbian“, the true deep disturbance underneath the faux “feminist“/ “sisterlyStraightbian surface quickly rises to a boil, threatening all in it’s toxic path.

Of course, hindsight is 20/20, as the saying goes. It seems very obvious to me now that there is always at least some degree of deep-seated pathology present whenever anyone is living an on-going lie about their true selves; some have more issues than others, clearly; but: some degree of pathology is always present for all long-term liars.

Outside of a very small subset of temporary-Straightbians (who take a brief detour into the “lesbianism” boulevard while on the road to their true destination of HetTown), the vast majority of Straightbians have firmly planted their “identity” flags smack-dab in the center of Lesboville, where they remain for years, even decades — and they are more difficult to eradicate as any other squatters who have taken up residence in a property that is not legally or ethically theirs.

Think about itWhy would anyone live a complete lie on an on-going basis? Why would anyone claim to be a Lesbian if she is really heterosexual? Answer: Because something is wrong with her and that pathology has derailed her ability to be her true self. The underlying reasons may vary: perhaps she was sexually, emotionally, and/or physically abused by males; perhaps she doesn’t have the appropriate assertiveness skills to delineate boundaries in order to achieve a healthy romantic relationship with a male; maybe she is brainwashed into the radfem rhetoric that an all-powerful “Patriarchy” is systematically oppressing her into perpetual sniveling victimhood and the only way to escape it is to “become a Lesbian“; maybe she has made a political decision to “center womyn” (or any other ridiculous spelling of “women”) in her life; maybe she has made money or even an entire career out of her false “identity” as a “Lesbian; maybe she hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates hates HATES all males to the point where she “identifies” as a “hairy, man-hating Lesbian SCUM-manifesto angry virago harpy #yesallmen” (or any other similarly ridiculously-worded bio) — but, whatever the case, a Straightbian has CHOSEN to attempt to “eschew” her own TRUE heteroSEXual orientation in favor of living the egregious LIE that she is a Lesbian. (Of course, it should be noted that nobody can change who she really is, so all Straightbians’ attempts to “eschew” their own straight selves is a fool’s errand; a Straightbian remains straight whether she has sex with one female or with 1,678,343 females, and she remains straight even if she never has sex with a male — because, as I have said many times previously, behavior does NOT equal orientation).

The ultimate irony about radfem Straightbians should be obvious to anyone with an IQ higher than Diet Dr. Pepper: On Twitter, these hypocrites go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and ON ad nauseum about how transgender individuals should not call themselves “Lesbians“, and about how transgender individuals are purportedly bullying their way into “Lesbian” spaces, yada yada yada, without even apparently fathoming that they, themselves, are DOING THE VERY SAME THING THAT THEY ARE ACCUSING OTHERS OF. These Straightbian charlatans are brazenly appropriating an “identity” that is NOT THEIR OWN; and they have bullied their way into Lesbian lives/spaces in every way imaginable for many, many years now and they continue to do so, even as I am typing.

Also, Straightbians regularly falsely claim that Lesbians are being systematically coerced into sex with males and that Lesbian “sexual agency” is being removed (and endless other wording variations of these lies). While it may be true that some males may indeed ATTEMPT to coerce Lesbians into sex, the truth is that REAL Lesbians aren’t being coerced. If anybody is falling for this crap, it’s Straightbians themselves. Real Lesbians aren’t weak, and we aren’t stupid, and we aren’t gullible to male manipulations. If anyone is literally forcing an actual Lesbian to have sex, that would be called RAPE, which is a freaking crime — and Lesbians certainly wouldn’t simply be #metoo-ing about it on social media — no, Lesbians would be taking concrete action to bring the rapist to justice. The ultimate irony regarding the topic of “sexual agency” that these Straightbians are missing is that it is Straightbians themselves who are the ones who are compromising Lesbian’s “sexual agency” — because by Straightbians LYING about their true orientation to Lesbians, they are removing the Lesbian’s ability to give true informed consent to sex. That, my friends, is the very same purported “rape culture” that these very same Straightbians are always yacking about. Look in the mirror, ladies: YOU are a perpetrator of the very thing you fear most.

Furthermore, radfems of yore initially fervently bought into John Money’s failed experiment because of the misguided premise that, by eradicating the concept of  biological “sex” in favor of “gender”, they could somehow magically socialize everyone into an equality-utopia-wonderland. Now, when things clearly haven’t gone the way they hoped it would in the intervening decades, they have reversed course and are now crying “It’s sex, NOT gender!”. Make up your minds, cupcakes. You can’t have it both ways.

My point with this post is that when I first started blogging (and Twitter), I naively thought that reasonable conversations about such topics were possible, but the sad, stark truth is that Straightbians are not simply not capable of handling balanced, logical discussions. Instead, Straightbians are too buried in their own bullshit; too deeply invested in their own junk bonds; too handcuffed to their own self-made beds; and too busy profiting off of their own copious lies.

Somewhere near the intersection of pathology and desperation, all truth and rationality is completely lost.