Archives

Radical Feminist Disconnect: Lessons in Entitled Inconsistencies

In writing extensively about STRAIGHTBIANS, particularly Radical Feminist STRAIGHTBIANS, there is an acute disconnect Mrs. Dirt and I see LITERALLY LITERALLY (did I say literally yet?) LITERALLY daily, which is the complete and utter disconnect between what Radical Feminist STRAIGHTBIANS claim is impossible for specific others versus what they claim is entirely possible for themselves.

Previously, we have pointed out the double-blind-opposite-sides-of-the-same-coiness between RadFems and Trans persons; today we will delve deeper into the first of many ways Radical Feminists display willful-obtuse-obstinate-Het-privileged-egocentric-illogical disconnect between their own strongly held tenets of faith. Bear in mind, these examples are only a drop in the bucket of an otherwise ocean of idiocy.

Example #1:

Radical Feminist Claim 1A: “Trans women aren’t women” (meaning males cannot choose to become females). This ad nauseum, poorly-worded refrain has been running through RadFem circle jerks for at least forty years. Despite its ubiquitousness, each and every time it is uttered on social media/academia, it is somehow treated like the discovery of gold amongst beggars.

Radical Feminist Conflicting Claim 1B: “Any woman can choose to become a Lesbian.” Equally vomitous and equally plethoric on/in social media/academia; this bullshit claim is the hallmark of Radical Feminism/STRAIGHTBIANISM everywhere.

The Disconnect: In claim 1A, Radical Feminists clearly understand the biological reality that one sex cannot choose to change into another; not through drugs, not through surgeries, and not through laws. However, in claim 1B, biological reality is completely denied in favor of identity politics. Radical Feminists claim to be “Amazons against identity politics”, claim identity politics harm girls/women, yet fail to see the irony of using and abusing identity politics to co-opt Lesbian, claim Lesbian, and commodify Lesbian (a BIOLOGICAL reality verboten to Heterosexuals via HOMOSEXUAL BIOLOGY!).

Privileged Het women claiming Lesbian for various personal or political reasons has been green-lighted by Radical Feminists; while males doing the EXACT same thing to women (privilege also intact) is viewed/treated as RAPE culture! Therefore, if men parading around as women is RAPE, then what the f**k are Radical Feminist parading around as Lesbians?

Radical Feminists have long claimed males masquerading as women (including drag queens) are RAPING “woman” as an idea; while Radical Feminist STRAIGHTBIANS masquerading as Lesbians are having sexual relations WITH actual Lesbians WITHOUT those actual Lesbians having the knowledge to give INFORMED consent.

That, my friends, is not merely a disconnect, that is FUCKING R*A*P*E!!!!!!!

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt

PS: Our next example will appear in a few days. Stay tuned.

Are We The Only Lesbians In The World?

I wish we had a nickel every time someone made a dismissive, derisive, and untrue comment implying that Dirt, myself, and/or a specific friend of oursthink that we are the only Lesbians in the world” because of our outspokenness about Straightbians. We could all retire in comfort if only someone would pay us for even a small portion of the utter nonsense spread about us.

So, I thought I would do a post addressing this specific, nonsensical, and completely irrational (yet shockingly common!) comment.

Question: Do we think we are the only Lesbians in the world?

Answer: No.

Let’s all just take a minute to really think about this claim: If we actually did think that we were the only Lesbians, there would be absolutely no need to write to/for/about Lesbians. We would just talk amongst ourselves and save ourselves a bunch of time and trouble, now wouldn’t we? (Duh!).

This message has been brought to you on behalf of my ongoing “Just Say No To Saying Ignorant Crap on Twitter” campaign. You’re welcome.

The Aftermath of Avital Ronell: When The True Homophobia Of “Queer” Is Revealed

I always say that if you look closely enough, people’s true colors will eventually be revealed, and that fact has been recently demonstrated very clearly (and queerly!) in the aftermath of the Avital Ronell debacle. One has to look no further than “Ms. Queer Theory” herself, Judith Butler, to see the startling (and, yes, ironic) homophobia that is always lurking underneath the guise of “Queer“. This ever-present, underlying homophobia always rears its disgusting head whenever gay men and/or Lesbians assert our boundaries and our rights to our own homosexual lives/names.

It is, for example, quite revealing that Butler chose to defend herqueer” (NOT LESBIAN!!!!) friend/colleague, Avital Ronell, against the proven-true accusations of sexual harassment of a gay man, while questioning the gay man’s motives and character. Although Butler subsequently issued an “apology when she faced the consequences of her own actions, it was too little, too late, too fake, and too self-serving to make a difference.

Heads-Up Homosexuals: “Queers” and all who support Queer Theory rhetoric and the never-ending, increasingly ridiculous “LGBTQQIP2SAA+++++++” acronym are NOT us, they are NOT our friends, and they are NOT our allies. It is WAY past time to get the L out and get the G out, and get back to the basics of focusing on the rights/lives of ACTUAL homosexuals and leave the rest of the acronym to stew in their own toxic juices.

The following are Dirt’s posts regarding the Ronell fiasco and its aftermath:

First post:

How do you defend a Sexual Harasser? Just ask Dr. Judith Butler:

In lieu of a full post at this time (I WILL be posting one), I did none the less want to address a smidge of the absolute nutfuckery going on in academia, particularly Judith Butler’s leap before she looked defense of NYU’s queer (and by queer I mean strangeprof Avital Ronell.

Queer BFFs

In May of this year Judith Butler sent a letter to NYU president and provost, which she had already previously solicited for signatures to hundreds of academics around the globe regarding a sexual harassment case (that at this point unbeknownst to Butler her buddy Avital Ronell had been found guilty).

I leave readers with Judith Butler’s letter in conjunction with some of the many many many many many many many many many (did I say many?) psycho nutfuck statements made by Prof Ronell and related quotes:

Dear President Hamilton and Provost Fleming,

            We write as long-term colleagues of Professor Avital Ronell who has been under investigation by the Title IX offices at New York University.  Although we have no access to the confidential dossier
(Side Note: Because who needs access to pesky facts when we have Prof Ronell’s less than sound mind and flamboyant character as validation?)

we have all worked for many years in close proximity to Professor Ronell and accumulated collectively years of experience to support our view of her capacity as teacher and a scholar, but also as someone who has served as Chair of both the Departments of German and Comparative Literature at New York University.  We have all seen her relationship with students,

 “When I was a graduate student in the NYU German department, both she and ********* tormented students, postdocs, and staff with their narcissistic personality disorders, their choleric fits, and yes, their sexual harassment.” (from Facebook post of former NYU student)

and some of us know the individual who has waged this malicious campaign against her.  We wish to communicate first in the clearest terms our profound an enduring admiration for Professor Ronell whose mentorship of students

 “I now need to tell her I  love her, meet her on weekends for ‘fun’ and  am completely dispossessed of anything that is (or was) my life…” (Reitman re: Ronell)

 has been no less than remarkable over many years. We deplore the damage that this legal proceeding causes her, and seek to register in clear terms our objection to any judgment against her.  We hold that the allegations against her do not constitute actual evidence, 

 “Hi my darling Nimrod, I am a bit weepy and confused, a normal  aftermath I suppose, and also a response to the sepa ration from you …  But I will try to gain some ground with a visit to shrinky – winky and see if I can’t develop another kind of report for you! …So many kisses for my guardian angel.” (Ronell to Reitman)

 but rather support the view that malicious intention has animated and sustained this legal nightmare.

As you know, Professor Ronell has changed the course of German Studies, Comparative Literature, and the field of philosophy and literature over the years of her teaching, writing, and service.  

  “…I was crying when I did not hear back from you. It was a hard  night, but I’m pulling together….” (Ronell to Reitman)

She is responsible for building the field of literary studies at New York University, but also throughout Europe as a result of her brilliant scholarship and spirit of intellectual generosity.  

  “…I forgot to tell you how much and how deeply and how  importantly and how eternally how seriously I love you … I loved our  time together today. It was beautiful, it was gorgeous. It was a  blessing. You ’ re a blessing. And I want  to affirm it and celebrate it and  you and tell you how much you mean to me, how fortunate I feel…”(Ronell to Reitman)

Her students now teach at leading research institutions in the US, France, and Germany, and her intellectual influence is felt 

 My most adored one, dear Nimrod, … When for instance you said the  other day that you felt that we spoke enough, or even a lot, on the  phone, the incommensurateness of my demand began to dawn on me,  and I thought I realized that you were asking that I dial it down. Very  reasonably. … There was a time when you said I had limitless calling  privileges (a lovely fantasy for me, part of internal dream machine,  which I thought I had translated and kept moderate)…” (Ronell to Reitman)

throughout the humanities, including media and technology studies, feminist theory, and comparative literary study.   There is arguably no more important figure in literary studies at New York University than Avital Ronell whose intellectual power 

  “Loving you downtown and all around the town!” (Ronell to Reitman)

and fierce commitment to students 

 My sweet delight, dear Nimrod,  … I miss you strongly! … I will hold  you close to my heart silently, as I once did, and just listen to your  intimate rhythm, heart, heart, your breathing, heart, heart. I liked  when you would drift off and I could lose myself in your soft breathing.  I’m not sure you remember, because, well, you had drifted off. I asked  for those moments to last forever!…” (Ronell to Reitman)

and colleagues has established her as an exemplary intellectual and mentor throughout the academy.  As you know, she is the Jacques Derrida Chair of Philosophy 

Ronell began an affair with Derrida’s son Pierre while she was staying with the family for the Christmas holidays in 1979, when she was 27 and Pierre was 16. They moved in together the following year (after Pierre’s graduation from high school)

at the European Graduate School and she was recently given the award of Chevalier of Arts and Letters by the French government. 
We testify to the grace, 

“Most  cherished…Cock~erspaniel” (Ronell to Reitman)

the keen wit, 

  “I wish I could kidnap you…Baby, let me massage your feet…” (Ronell to Reitman)

 and the intellectual commitment of Professor Ronell 

 Now lets cuddle like cubs” (Ronell to Reitman)

  and ask that she be accorded the dignity rightly deserved by someone of her international standing and reputation. 

“…get your ass back home, darling …I am sorry I ever let you go!” (Ronell to Reitman)

 If she were to be terminated or relieved of her duties, the injustice would be widely recognized and opposed.  The ensuing loss for the humanities, for New York University, and for intellectual life 

 did you find your  phallus?” (Ronell to Reitman)

during these times would be no less than enormous and would rightly invite widespread and intense public scrutiny.   We ask that you approach this material with a clear understanding of the long history of her thoughtful and successive mentorship, 

“My dearest Nimrod, … I am deeply sorry when I fail at distance, at  least sometimes (but not always) and that I suffer your absence with  such inelegance. I hope you can continue to have and hold compassion  and not feel a downturn in our tremendous closeness at all times, … I  simply wanted to talk to you. You had told me that we would do so  quite a lot: I didn’t realize this was  something very hard for me to  calibrate and assimilate…” (Ronell to Reitman)

the singular brilliance of this intellectual, the international reputation she has rightly earned as a stellar scholar in her field, 

 “…didn’t mean to sound desperate. If you need space it’s OK, just tell Me what’s right for you. I can’t figure it out without your help and Insight and prompts!” (Ronell to Reitman)

her enduring commitments to the university, and the illuminated world she has brought to your campus where colleagues and students thrive in her company and under her guidance.  

 “You look gorgeous; Couldn’t keep my eyes off you!” (Ronell to Reitman)

She deserves a fair hearing, one that expresses respect, dignity, and human solicitude in addition to our enduring admiration.”

Conclusion of 11-month Title IX Investigation: Ronell was found by NYU to have physically and verbally sexually harassed Reitman over a sustained period of time. 

Sincerly,

Judith Butler et al

Second post:

Academic Circle Jerk: Judith Butler; Avital Ronell; J Jack Halberstam; Antu Sorainen:

While not the post intended next, due to the un-fucking-believable levels of Homophobia, this is my next post.

In relation to my last post regarding Judith Butler‘s warped love letter to NYU, crusading for the safe return of sexual harasser Avital Ronell, it seems Butler has gone all fickle toward Ronell (mostly because a rightful shitstorm blew her way, as well as Butler realising Ronell’s personal emails/phone calls to Butler regarding the situation, were flat out lies)! That being the case, Butler has issued an apology letter, of sorts (she’s praying for a get-out-of-jail-free-card-she does NOT deserve one!):

 To the Editor:
I can only speak for myself since the signatories of the letter addressed to the NYU administration regarding the sexual harassment charges brought against Avital Ronell are not a group with a single view, and different authors helped to craft the draft version of the letter that appeared online without our consent (“Battle Over Alleged Harassment Escalates as Former Graduate Student Sues Professor and NYU,”The Chronicle, August 16). When the signatories learned that termination of employment for Ronell was under consideration by NYU, we were bewildered by the severity of this possible sanction. We understood she was accused (“We hold that the allegations against her do not constitute actual evidence, but rather support the view that malicious intention”…Butler took a sexual predictor’s word over evidence that existed BUT which she did not possess) of conducting a “romantic friendship” and that her emails had been scrutinized for evidence of a sexual relationship.
Our aim was not to defend her actions — we did not have the case in hand — but to oppose the termination of her employment as a punishment. (Meaning, Butler and crew regardless of Ronell’s academic iniquities didnt/dont believe Ronell should have been harshly punished-a simple writing on the blackboard I was a bad girl ten times would suffice.) Such a punishment seemed unfair given the findings as we understood them. In hindsight, those of us who sought to defend Ronell against termination surely ought to have been more fully informed of the situation if we were going to make an intervention. (Not so loosely translates to Ronell fucking LIED to me about her sexually harassing a Gay man for years!) 

Moreover, the letter was written in haste (ya think?!) and the following are my current regrets about it. First, we ought not to have attributed motives to the complainant, even though some signatories (namely Judith Butler!) had strong views on this matter. The claims of sexual harassment have too often been dismissed by discrediting the complainant, (by people like Butler!) and that nefarious tactic has stopped legitimate claims from going forward and exacerbated the injustice. When and where such a claim proves to be illegitimate, it should be demonstrated on the basis of the evidence alone. (Really? No shit!)

Second, we should not have used language that implied that Ronell’s status and reputation earn her differential treatment of any kind. Status ought to have no bearing on the adjudication of sexual harassment. (Butler makes perfectly clear though, it DOES make a difference!) All faculty should be treated the same under Title IX protocols, that is, subject to the same rules and, where justified, sanctions.
Immediately after the confidential draft letter was published online, I was in direct communication with the MLA officers (the executive director, the president and the first vice president) to apologize (Ass kissing and boot licking, NOT because Butler had regrets BUT because Butler fucked up!) for the listing of my position within the organization after my name. I acknowledged that I should not have allowed the MLA affiliation to go forward with my name. I expressed regret to the MLA officers and staff, and my colleagues accepted my apology. I extend that same apology to MLA members.
We all make errors in life and in work. (The destruction of a person’s career/livelihood before its even begun isnt a fucking simple “error”, its a fucking homophobic travesty!) The task is to acknowledge them, as I hope I have, and to see what they can teach us as we move forward.
Judith Butler
Maxine Elliot Professor in the Department of Comparative Literature and the Program of Critical Theory
University of California at Berkeley

But Butler’s ass-kissing apology letter isn’t solely what this post is about, this post is about the sheer clear homophobia that the Ronell/Reitman injustice is displaying by feminist academics across the globe. (All screencaps below were public at the time of my capping them).

Witness the HOMOPHOBIC Het hissy fit from STRAIGHTBIAN  academic (Professor at Columbia UniversityJudith (jack) Halberstam’s Facebook:

 

Judy, its been made perfectly clear Butler’s ethics are subject to use ONLY when fearing the higher powers that be.

Perloff correctly clarifies Judy’s warped version of events — and crickets. Nobody fucks with MP!

rightfully angry GAY man makes some point blank statements and per usual whenever a Gay man or a Lesbian speak, Het women are there to call him (us) out for being…wait for it…wait for it….MACHO! Wow! That sure told him, they thought, as well as disproved his spot the fuck on points! NOT!

Mr. Hass nails Judith Butler’s motives and actions exactly; victim-blamed-victim-shamed-tried to influence a Title IX investigation!  After Mr. Hass, and his rightful reaction to Homophobia is ignored (by feminists), and his correct summation of events attacked (by feminists) and the truth he states repeatedly are dismissed (by feminists), a by now VERY angry Mr Hass says regarding Butler’s position “fire this homophobic anti-male cunt“. Mr Hass edits out cunt (although personally I wouldn’t have as its a more than adequate term under the circumstance (cunt meaning: Insulting term of address for people who are stupid, irritating or ridiculous”). But of course where feminists of any sort are concerned, Mr. Hass and his correct points are reduced to:

Calling Judith Butler an “anti-male cunt” isn’t the actual definition of misogyny”, and where a college feminist professor fails to distinguish between her own personal (and I might add overemotional) feelings against facts, blatant homophobia and a Gay man’s anger over ignored Homophobia by Het women, Halberstam should also be fired!

But Judy Halberstam’s hissy fit doesn’t stop there, nor stop with Judy Halberstam:

Antu is as Heterosexual and Homophobic as Judy Halberstam and equally incapable of using reason/facts over Het female emotionalism. Antu’s hysterics pinball her from Halberstam/Ronell to that which has absolutely nothing to do with the case at hand (Avital Ronell was found GUILTY of sexual harassment!). Antu prefers to ignore the actual case, the actual information contained in the case and prefers to (when she isn’t too busy) share good links, i.e. Homophobic feminist links that paint Homophobic sexual harassers as saints and Homosexuals as demons! Antu’s ravings spawn from another Judy Halberstam maddened tirades: 

If Halberstam thinks Butler has ethics, I say again, Halbertsam has NO right to teach, period! Halbertsam’s blind allegiance to her own Homophobia and that of Homophobic cunts (people who are stupid, irritating or ridiculous) is proof positive she and anyone who support Homophobia in any form have no business working with the public, at…fucking…all!

Avital Ronell’s sexual harassment of a Gay man AND the reaction by other (mostly) female/feminist academics and the like, have made it perfectly clear just how far Homosexuals, Homosexual rights, Homosexuals right to equality and how accepting Heterosexuals are of (real biological) Homosexuals have come (Spoiler: NOT VERY FAR):

  1. Homosexuals DO NOT MATTER!
  2. Homosexual rights DO NOT MATTER!
  3. Homosexuals personal boundaries DO NOT MATTER!
  4. Homosexual equality DOES NOT MATTER!
  5. Believing the word of a Homosexual over that of a Heterosexual Harasser DOES NOT MATTER!
  6. Homosexual documentation of Heterosexual harassment DOES NOT MATTER!
  7. Homosexual relationships DO NOT merit the same legitimacy as Heterosexual relationships!
  8. The feelings of Homosexuals over that of Heterosexuals DO NOT MATTER!
  9. Homosexuality IS a slum for warped Heterosexual women to lounge, play, feel special and garner a career!
  10. Homosexuals lives, experiences, narratives and shared biology DOES NOT MATTER!

The Top 10 Things Straightbians Say When Told They Are Not Actual Lesbians

1). “Tell that to my wife/girlfriend!”

2). “Well, here’s a pic of me kissing a woman!”

3). “But I’ve dated/had sex with ___ (number of) women!”

4). “It is up to every woman to decide what she wants to ‘identify as’!”

5). “I haven’t been with a man since (insert year)!”

6). “But I love womyn!” or “But I am a womon-identified-womon!”

7). “But I went to Michfest!” (Or a women’s march, or a KD Lang concert, etc.).

8). “As Mary Daly said…” (or Sheila Jeffreys or Kate Millett or Andrea Dworkin or Adrienne Rich or any other famous Straightbian).

9). “Who are you, the Lesbian police?”

10). “But I really like to _______ (insert offensive hypersexual euphemism, usually referring to oral sex).”

News Flash, Straightbians: BEHAVIOR DOES NOT EQUAL ORIENTATION.

It simply does not matter whether you have “eschewed” men (or “eschewed femininity”); whether you have had sex with 1 woman or 4,257,890 women; whether you have had a relationship with a female for 4 minutes or 40 years: NONE of those things makes you a Lesbian.

Being a Lesbian is NOT about what you wear, how you cut your hair, making a political “choice”, “eschewing” men, or who you f*ck (or even whether you f*ck) — nor any other action you take (or don’t take).

You are either born a Lesbian, or you are not one at all.

The End.

Here’s The Thing

To save myself, Dirt, and/or other real Lesbians from having the same argument with Straightbians, other straight “feminists“, and various other assorted dillweeds on Twitter or elsewhere over and over and OVER, I wanted to do a general post to address the most common nonsense we encounter.

So, without further ado, here are the definitive answers to the common malarkey we hear from Straightbians, purported “feminists” and other assorted asshats:

Accusation:

Dirt and/or I and/or other Lesbians are “really male” and/or “really transgender“.

Answer:

Hahahahaha(gaspsforbreath)hahahahahaha!

Seriously, folks: Are you really THAT stupid? (Hint: If you are dumb enough to tweet, retweet, like, and/or believe these lies: Sadly for you, you are officially more than a few fries short of a Happy Meal).

Both of our real identities have been revealed…long ago, and….drum roll, please….wait for it….wait for it….BOOM!:

We are BOTH Lesbians!

(Duh).

Here’s a helpful hint, Einstein:  Try doing even just a tiny bit of basic research and using just a small smidgen of critical thinking skills, if you have any, to avoid looking like a completely vacuous air-headed idiot by saying such foolish things in the future. (Or, alternatively: If the asinine shoe fits…go ahead and slip that stiletto right on, “sister”).

Furthermore, accusations that Lesbians are “really male” is a clear indicator that the accuser is a Straightbian. Why? Because it’s clear that she has no clue whatsoever how Lesbians communicate, look, act, or respond. So, keep talking, cupcake, because you’re just proving our points with every ludicrous thing  you say.

Accusation:

Dirt and I claim that Lesbians are not biologically female.

Answer:

Sighing loudly. Nope. Learn to read. Learn to comprehend what you read. Learn to think. That is, if you can. Otherwise, shut the heck up and leave the thinking to those who are smart enough to decipher what is ACTUALLY being said: That Lesbians are different than STRAIGHT females. Geez.

(Double duh).

Accusation:

Dirt and I hate straight women.

Answer:

Again, no. (Really, what is wrong with some people’s ability to read and to comprehend what they read??). We don’t hate straight women; we hate when Straightbians speak for and about Lesbians.

Accusation:

Dirt and I harass, bully, threaten, dox, stalk, and/or have gotten people fired from their jobs (and other assorted variations of these lies).

Answer:

Not just no, but OH HELL NO. No to all the above and to any/all other variations of this complete lie.

Calling a Straightbian a Straightbian is NOT harassment, bullying, etc.; rather, it is falsely called harassment, bullying, etc. because the truth hurts.

Bottom Line: If you find yourself so very threatened by someone else’s assessment of you that you stoop to spreading riDICKulous lies and/or creating DICKsgusting drama to prop up your own clearly-threatened weak ego, it’s a sure sign that YOU are not secure in your own (false) “identity” as a “Lesbian“.

Real Lesbians would simply respond directly. Real Lesbians are not threatened by being called a Straightbian. Why? Because real Lesbians know who we are and we don’t need anyone else’s approval.

So, if you find yourself OVERreacting to the point of making a total ass of yourself, it’s time to consider why what we are saying is so threatening to you. (Spoiler: You are looking more and more and MORE like a STRAIGHTBIAN with every hysterical OVERreaction).

Remember this same principle if you see someone else overreacting and outright lying in a similar manner: “Protesting too much” is an actual thing. And Straightbians doth protest way too much because they have built their entire lives (and, quite often, careers) on the LIE that they are “lesbians“.

Similarly, those who falsely claim that Dirt is “doxxing” anyone are also wrong. Posting what is already posted publicly on the internet is NOT “doxxing”. Dirt is NOT publishing real names, addresses, workplaces, phone numbers, and/or any other personal/private information, nor would she.

Again: Learn to THINK, people. Do some basic research of your own to come to a fully-informed conclusion before blindly believing lies; my blog and Twitter account are both public, and so are Dirt’s.

Helpful Hint: Whenever anyone is just throwing out triggering accusations — without any actual examples, data, or proof to back up the allegations — it is time to strongly consider the obvious reason for the lack of details. The reason is: IT NEVER HAPPENED. Someone is actively lying to you and manipulating you. Wake up and smell the BS, people.

Accusation:

Dirt and I block people “because they asked a question or disagreed”.

Answer:

No. People ask questions and disagree with us ALL THE TIME, yet we don’t block them all. Why? People who are polite and respectful and willing to engage in discussion (even civil disagreement) do NOT get blocked. Well, who gets blocked then? Rude/disrespectful people; lesbophobes; pornified accounts; people who just want to argue incessantly and clearly have no intention of having a discussion; trolls; bots; liars and those who continue to follow/support outright liars; and all other toxic people.

Accusation:

Dirt and I call everyone who disagrees with us a Straightbian.

Answer:

Yet again: NO. So: Who do we call a Straightbian? Hmmmm….let’s all THINK about it now…yes, even those who are bringing up the rear, brain-power-wise…oh, yeah…that’s right: STRAIGHTBIANS, that’s who! (Triple Duh). If we have called you a Straightbian, it’s simply because you exhibit many of the signs of being a Straightbian. If anyone in these posts here and here sound like you…oh yeah, cupcake, guess what? YOU ARE A STRAIGHTBIAN.

Accusation:

Dirt, I, and/or other Lesbians are “ugly”, “homely”, “mannish”, and/or any other insults to our physical appearance.

Answer:

Sometimes, mean-spirited and apparently unimaginative individuals will stoop to insulting our physical appearance. When this happens, such insults always say much more about the insulter than they do about the person/people being insulted.

If you choose to act in such an immature, unattractive, and toxic fashion, just know that your true nasty colors show through more clearly with each and every insult you hurl.

People will eventually see you for what you really are: a petty, mean, vile, repugnant, ignorant asshat.

And Karma always sees you too.

Furthermore, insulting someone’s appearance is a sure sign that you do NOT have a coherent argument to offer regarding the actual topic of discussion.

And: For those who are falsely calling themselves “feminist” and/or “gender-critical“, faking copious concern about the transitioning of Lesbians, while clicking the “retweet” or “like” button on any tweet directly insulting the physical appearance of Lesbians: We see you as the hypocritical, fraudulent liars that you are. YOU are the problem.

Dirt and I don’t give a darn whether or not you like what we look like. Dirt and I are happy with ourselves and with each other. If you don’t like the way we (and/or other Lesbians) look, don’t look at us. Problem solved!

Here’s the thing: Reading what we write is completely optional. If you don’t like us, the way we look, who we are, and/or what we write, just go away. Far away. Now. Don’t let the door hit your sorry butt on the way out.

We trust that the REAL Lesbians who need to hear what we are saying will find us and will understand what we are saying…which, by the way, is exactly what Straightbians are afraid of.

Straightbians WANT us to shut up, because we are giving away their dirty little secrets.

But we are NOT writing for Straightbians AND we will never shut up.

Real Lesbians deserve the truth. And our message is for LESBIANS only.

Twitter Is A Cesspool and I Am Tired Of Swimming In Excrement

No, this isn’t one of those “I’m leaving Twitter!” posts that are springing up everywhere lately.

I am not leaving Twitter (at least not at this point), but I am dramatically changing my own feelings about, behavior on, and relationship with Twitter.

A well-known (but infrequently followed) principle is that “You can’t change other people. You can only change yourself.” (After a brief search, I could not find the original source of this idea easily, but it’s darn good advice anyway).

Well, the same principle applies to myself and Twitter: I can’t change Twitter (nor the people on Twitter), but I can certainly change my relationship with Twitter (and the people on Twitter).

The main reason I am changing my interactions on Twitter is because I realized that I was letting all of the stress and drama suck up too much of my time, to the point of derailing me from my primary purpose, which is: to write to other Lesbians and about being a Lesbian.

I don’t need, nor even want, the approval of all of the Straightbians who are personally invested in the nonsensical and lesbophobic rhetoric that “any woman can become a Lesbian” nor the hetsplaining gender critical types who call us insulting terms like “gender non-conforming” while pretending to be supportive.

Also, as I have written about before, I truly think that Twitter somehow often brings out the very worst in people, myself included. The fast-paced, free-for-all Twitter environment, in combination with tons of strangers attempting to discuss complex, usually emotionally-charged, topics using limited characters and disjointed threads, frequently results in a frenzy of anger, insults, incoherence, rudeness, misunderstandings, etc.

That sad situation has always been the case, and has made me very wary of Twitter…but that’s not entirely what has precipitated my decision to change my relationship with Twitter.

Recently, I have become increasingly aware of a much more sinister trend on Twitter; one that Twitter is apparently quite fine with, by the way:

Someone (anyone!) can get angry at you, but instead of confronting you directly and dealing with that anger in a straight-forward, rational fashion, that person instead blocks you so you cannot see what they are saying (well, at least theoretically, anyway); then makes up and spreads utter defamatory lies about you, knowing you cannot reply to defend yourself; while encouraging/supporting others to do the same.

Of course, this behavior is certainly NOT limited to Twitter or even to social media in general. Stereotypical “mean girls”, in particular, have used lies, defamation, and exclusion as a tactic, probably since the dawn of humankind. But the advent of social media, particularly in a public situation such as Twitter, has magnified the damage that such sorry behavior can cause.

As you can probably guess, the reason I am writing this post is because this sordid scenario recently happened to myself and my wife, Dirt.

These lies include, but are not limited to:

  • One or both of us are purportedly actually males/trans — and that they reportedly have proof “on good authority”. (A+ for creativity, folks; but that’s a big fat F for basic research skills, truth, intelligence, reasoning, and logic).
  • We have allegedly stalked, harassed, and/or bullied the lying accuser on Twitter (and purportedly her wife too, who, ironically, we did not even know existed until she decided to back up her wife’s lies with lies of her own), “despite being blocked.” (Not only did this never happen, but anyone saying this clearly doesn’t know how Twitter works and sadly isn’t even smart enough to find out before outright lying).
  • A “mob” of us (a couple is a “mob” now?) reportedly “targeted” one of the copycat liars on “both Twitter and Facebook” “12 months ago”. (I’ve never even interacted with this particular lying accuser at all; furthermore, both of our Facebook accounts are private for family and friends only; and we very rarely even comment outside our own circle on FB. In other words…complete and utter bullshit.

Actually, such ridiculousness is probably still happening, but I am attempting to ignore it and to systematically block anyone who likes, retweets, comments, supports, follows, etc. the main perpetrator and her mean-girl posse.

The “old” me would have done a post about it, complete with screencaps of the actual lies with my (usually snarky) responses to refute the lies. I am keeping all of the screencaps, in case I need them in the future, but (at this point) I don’t plan on doing a post about it, nor do I plan to continue trying to defend myself here, on Twitter, or elsewhere.

Why?

The answer is simple: Because the lies being told about us are so ludicrous that anyone with an internet connection, rudimentary research skills, basic reading comprehension skills, a sufficient IQ, and even a modicum of logic/fairness could very quickly ascertain that what is being said about me and Dirt is completely untrue. Ergo, the liars and their sycophants are ALL revealing that their meanness and pettiness FAR outweigh their intelligence and common human decency.

Dirt’s and my true (Lesbian/female) identities have been revealed (long ago!), and both of our blogs plus our Twitter accounts are public, so everyone is welcome to do their own research to determine the veracity of the allegations.

In other words, anyone who is jumping on the BS bandwagon (either by simply blindly believing outright lies, or, even worse, contributing with additional lies) is not someone who I would want in my life anyway, even tangentially.

And everyone who continues to follow/support anyone who has said clearly mean-spirited, untrue, defamatory, insulting, hideous, and/or lesbophobic garbage about myself, Dirt, any of our friends, and/or Lesbians in general will be promptly blocked whenever I come across them.

Ditto for people who stand silently by and watch such debacles happen, while pretending to be supportive of us in private.

This is not a simple case of a “misunderstanding”; this is not even a case of an “argument” gone wrong.

No, this is a situation that involves outright lies of a defamatory nature; it’s a targeted attack designed to harass, insult, ostracize, discredit, defame, and harm myself and my wife.

And that is not okay by any stretch of the imagination, in any circumstance. Anyone with even the slightest iota of common decency would realize that, regardless of what you think about myself and/or Dirt…even if you HATE us:

It’s not okay to lie. It’s not okay to encourage others to attack; block; report; harass; defame; lie about (etc.) us (or anyone else, for that matter) based on such garbage.

And it’s also certainly not okay to insult our (or others’) physical appearances either. It’s not witty, it’s not decent, it’s not mature, it’s not smart, it’s not kind, and it’s most certainly NOT feminist. 

Do better. 

Even kindergarten students know that behavior is wrong.

You know that behavior is wrong.

Karma knows that behavior is wrong.

Both Dirt and I are resilient adults, and we are secure enough with ourselves to withstand such insults/lies (although, admittedly, it is certainly not pleasant to have to do so).

But: What if we weren’t resilient? What if we were young Lesbians, peer-pressured into believing the lies that we, as Lesbians, are “really male”? What if we were insecure, isolated, depressed, lonely, confused, and/or rejected by our families/communities for being Lesbians (as many Lesbians are)? What then? How would such a young Lesbian respond to the kind of bitter, venomous meanness and vile lies that we have been subjected to on Twitter?

Think about it. Just think about it. Please.

Here’s the (very obvious, already proven) thing: If anyone has an actual problem with either of us, or a question/concern they would like to approach us about, it is really easy to find us to reach out. When either of us is approached in a respectful manner, we always respond in a respectful manner. There are numerous examples of this fact, both public and private.

While both of us can admittedly be snarky, sarcastic, and/or even rude when we are treated with rudeness or disrespect, we have also both demonstrated repeatedly that we are willing to have respectful conversations about any of the topics we write/tweet about when we are approached directly and politely.

If you don’t believe me, look back at our tweets and replies to comments on our blog, which are all public. Or: Simply try it yourself to see how we respond.

Bottom line: Nobody needs to stoop to spreading lies and hatred…ever, for any reason. To do so says much more about the lying person’s (lack of) character than it says about any of her targets. I don’t want toxic people in my life and I don’t want any of their followers in my life either. So this is it for me. I would say “It’s been nice”, but I’d be lying, so I will just say “Goodbye” instead: Goodbye to meanness, goodbye to liars, goodbye to Straightbians, goodbye to hetsplainers, goodbye to hypocrites, goodbye to cowards, and goodbye to anyone who supports any of these in any way.

Assorted Straightbian Subtypes: Part 2: So Many ASSes

As a follow up to our previous post entitled Assorted Straightbian Subtypes: AKA the Seven ASSes, we wanted to follow up with 2 other subtypes of Straightbian, both of whom may likely have significant overlap with some of the previously described 7 subtypes.

Additionally, although this should go without saying, obviously it needs to be said anyway, based on comments we have received:

Of course, some just-plain-straight females (not Straightbian posers claiming to be Lesbian, but straight-up heterosexual females) may share characteristics that fall into one or more of these archetypes. That makes sense, since both just-plain-straight females and Straightbians share a VERY important characteristic: THEY ARE STRAIGHT, but always remember: we are never going to be talking about straight women unless they are impacting upon Lesbians in some way

So, before you comment, “I know a straight female who likes Tarot”, please stop and remember that unless she is a STRAIGHTBIAN, we are not talking about her, nor denying her existence. She is simply irrelevant to this topic.

So, without further ado, here are 2 follow-up ASSes to add to our previous Assorted STRAIGHTBIAN Subtypes:

8). White Picket Fence and 2 Children In The Suburbs Straightbian: The White Picket Fence (WPF) Straightbian just wants to fit in, to be “normal” (in the eyes of society), yet still retaining her Straightbian status due to her own pathology.

This Straightbian will say that there is absolutely no difference between herself and her soccer-mom neighbor, except who she is in a relationship with (and, actually, she is right about that…because they are BOTH STRAIGHT!).

“We’re all the same”, White Picket Fence loves to say, “Why label people?” Because “Love is Love”, after all! “We’re all human, why create all of these unnecessary divisions?”, WPF often thinks, shaking her perky head.

The White Picket Fence Straightbian loves this cup and carries it everywhere because, gosh darn it, we are all just HUMAN, now aren’t we?:

The White Picket Fence Straightbian cares very much about appearances and fitting in with society’s expectations.

She is in a relationship with another female (either another White Picket Fence Straightbian or a Lesbian who can pass as Straight) but, by golly, she and her partner are going to FIT IN OR BUST:

House in the suburbs? Check!
Golden Retriever? Check!
Volvo? Check!
Casually rumpled, but subtly elegant, decor? Check!
White wedding? Check!
2 adorable children? Check!
Picture-perfect holidays? Check!
Roth IRA and 401K? Check and Check!

On social media, she will call herself something like “just2mommies2kidsand1goldenretriever”. She will follow only others exactly like herself, “eschewing” any real Lesbians who point out that Lesbians are actually different than straight women. So darn divisive, those Lezzies are!

LOVE IS LOVE, after all…

White Picket Fence may be married to a female…

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

8a). Sunshine and Roses:

Relatedly, a sub-sub (-sub…?) type of the White Picket Fence is the Sunshine and Roses Straightbian, who is an emotionally-fragile straight female who uses relentless, sugary-sweet positivity to completely escape/avoid dealing with her own issues that have led her to mistakenly believe she is a “Lesbian“.

Sunshine and Roses was perhaps physically, emotionally, and/or sexually abused as a child; or at least likely had a very chaotic, disturbing home life while growing up. She likely has had very bad previous experiences/relationships with past boyfriend(s)/husband(s).

Sunshine and Roses is desperate to escape not only those bad situations, but also all of the heavy emotional baggage that she carries from those situations.

In fact, she has stuffed that baggage down so far that she actually mistakenly thinks she has left it behind.

On social media and in real life, Sunshine and Roses “eschews” all negativity and strives to keep herself forever insulated from real-world unpleasantness. Her social media posts are likely predominantly inspirational memes and/or cutesy GIFs and/or dreamy “Peace, Love, and Harmony” sentiments, and/or heartbroken laments about “Why is there so much strife in the world?”.

Sunshine and Roses may not even attempt to embark upon a relationship, preferring to call herself a “Lesbian” (or possibly “queer” or “LGBTQQIAAP+“) without the pesky reality of dealing with another fallible and not-always-positive human being. She lives in a fantasy world, perhaps fantasizing incessantly about an idealized version of a particular singer, actor, book, movie, TV show, author, etc. She may read or even write happy-ending fan fiction to erase the unpleasant reality of how an actual storyline turned out.

Sunshine and Roses is likely to unfollow or block anyone on social media who she perceives to be “negative” or “crass” or “unpleasant” in any way. She surrounds herself with beautiful objects and frantically attempts to create harmony in a world sadly lacking it.

Sunshine and Roses is not a bad person. In fact, she is typically a good person who has been dealt a very bad hand in life.

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

8b). The Urban Version of the White Picket Fence (WPF) STRAIGHTBIAN:

Like her suburban counterpart, the Urban WPF Straightbian just wants to fit in, but with a very different crowd.

The Urban WPF doesn’t want the actual white picket fence of her suburban counterpart’s dream…no, of course not, because that would be just too common for Urban.

No, the Urban Straightbian “eschews” the suburban lifestyle, wanting something more “edgy”, more “in”:

Renovated loft in an old cigar factory? Check!
Assorted popular Artists/Actors/Authors/Directors/Designers/Etc. as friends? Check!
Being the cool moms at the most exclusive private school available? Check!
Invitations to the most exclusive events in town? Check!
Season tickets to the local alternative theater? Check!
An amusingly pretentious Chilean chardonnay for the farm-to-table dinner party? Check!
Offspring named Jayden, Ayden, Cayden, or Brayden? Check!
Transgender child? Check!
Roth IRA and 401K? Check and Check!

The Urban Straightbian is popular with the liberal crowd, fitting right in with her liberal friends’ collective desire for diversity…

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

9). Mean-Spirited Unbalanced Faux-Feminist Yahoo (Muffy):

Muffy often overlaps with many/all of our previous 7 Assorted Straightbian Subtypes. In fact, Muffy has likely dabbled with playacting many of the subtypes at one point or another.

Muffy loves and uses social media with a vengeance. And “vengeance” is the key word here, because Muffy is one angry, hateful harpy. In fact, in her social media bios, she proudly claims to be a/an “angry, hairy Lesbian“, “man-hater”, “virago”, “shrew”, “Patriarchy-smasher”, “radical Lesbian“, “angry feminist“, “Lesbian separatist”, “woman-identified-woman” (or womyn or womon or wimmin or wimms…or any other ridiculous misspelling) and/or some similar descriptor.

On the surface, Muffy may seem to be the polar opposite of Sunshine and Roses, but these two subtypes share common denominators; the difference between them is exposed in how their underlying issues are expressed in opposite ways. Instead of internalizing/repressing her anger/angst (as Sunshine and Roses does), Muffy externalizes her rage, spewing her hatred outward in an incessant vomitous torrent, reminiscent of the pea-soup scene from The Exorcist.

Muffy doesn’t just wait for trouble to find her on social media; oh, no, not Muffy. She goes looking for trouble and when she doesn’t find it, she creates trouble.

Like a trigger-happy bounty hunter, Muffy is always on the hunt for people she finds offensive, and when she inevitably finds someone who dares to say something she disagrees with, she tries to blow that person away with her high-caliber nastiness.

In her quest to destroy her perceived enemy/enemies, Muffy completely “eschews” all logic, listening skills, and literacy, opting instead for sheer unadulterated, completely illogical, meanness.

No insult is too low nor off-limits for Muffy. Muffy hits below the belt and is proud of it.

Despite claiming to be a “feminist“, Muffy regularly insults other females’ looks, clothes, hair, makeup (or lack thereof), weight, age, marriage, choices, profession, ideas, words, work, etc., etc., etc. She calls Lesbians “men” without a single thought, nor care, in her venomous, vitriolic, vapid head about the potential effects of her words.

Muffy LOVES using inane memes/GIFs in the heat of battle, apparently not realizing that her memes/GIFs are as lame, illogical, nonsensical, and ineffectual as she herself is. She will then throw at least a few red herrings into the discussion, saying untrue things that make no sense whatsoever, and have nothing to do with the conversation at hand, but are intentionally designed to try to make the opponent(s) look bad and to distract from the fact that Muffy has no coherent argument. (Examples include falsely claiming that the perceived opponent(s) is/are: racist, sexist, misogynist, rape-apologist, perverted, pedophilic, etc.).

Finally, despite having deliberately sought out and started/continued the argument herself, and, despite having said absolutely false, defamatory, and despicable things to her opponent, Muffy then pretends to be the victim in the situation, falsely claiming that the other person is “bullying”, or even “stalking”, her. And Muffy is not above nor below using a fake suicide attempt to garner sympathy and support, thereby completely nullifying any further arguments.

She will then enlist other Muffys to attack, berate, harass, block, defame, exclude, and/or report her perceived opponent(s), while basking in the shallow, brittle “sisterhood” and feel-good-for-a-minute attention afforded from being The Perpetual Victim Of The Patriarchy.

Rinse and repeat, ad nauseum.

Muffy is one nasty, bitter piece of work.

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

In conclusion, while some Straightbians are clearly more dangerous to Lesbians in the individual sense, even Straightbians who partner with each other are dangerous to Lesbian as an idea. Straightbians are collectively responsible for taking the real flesh-and-blood Lesbian and turning us into nothing more than an idea which they, warped Het Women, flesh out through their own individual pathologies. Pathologies which the Psychiatric community has documented, diagnosed, and demonized for centuries. Pathologies ignorantly accepted by Het society as truth. Heterosexual Pathologies widely and readily, though incorrectly, attributed to actual Lesbians, haunting our relationships with family, friends, and even strangers, all with long held preconceived, wrong IDEAS forged by Straightbians!

But Lesbian isn’t an idea, we are flesh, blood, and bone.

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt