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Revisiting The Topic Of Stone Butch

Some time after I wrote Stone Butch, From A Femme Perspective, I received a disgruntled comment that did not get published, because, quite frankly, I was annoyed with the wannabe commenter‘s attitude, plus I didn’t have time at that moment to address her points, but I want to revisit it now.

Here is the annoying comment:

Hi, stone butch here. To be honest your piece made me a little frustrated but I’ll try to be civil in my comment.

My being stone means that during sex, I prefer to give more than I prefer to receive. I receive sometimes but even though I register it as being physically pleasurable, I still prefer giving, and it makes me feel vaguely uncomfortable. It doesn’t have to do with a freakout about me being ‘butch enough’ or anything of the sort – I just enjoy the feeling I get when I’m giving more than the feeling I get when I’m receiving. The whole part about ‘pulling out phrases from the stone butch book’ is condescending and paternalistic. Before I read this article I had no idea that people even said things like that, but I knew that I’d said and thought similar things before of my own accord. How am I being brainwashed when I’d never known anything of stone culture before?

I have always felt this vague sense of emptiness and discomfort when receiving during sex, and it wasn’t until very very recently that I discovered what it was like to be stone, and that the experiences of stone butches very closely matched my own. Assuming that we’re just adopting this label because of external pressure or ‘brainwashing’ is just… wrong.

I’m also uncomfortable with your insisting that femmes should slowly try to work at their butches until they give in to being touched sexually, and that femmes with stone butches will inevitably feel unloved and lonely. As a stone butch I’ve allowed partners to touch me but I’ve never really enjoyed it the way I know I should (not because they weren’t good in bed – they certainly knew what they were doing). To me it just feels like eating something that tastes good or taking a nice nap. I don’t get turned on by the idea of someone touching me sexually. My immediate reaction is discomfort, and it always has been ever since I started having sex (which was when I was like 14, so this isn’t a recent thing).

If femmes are not sexually satisfied by stone butches, then they should find butches who aren’t stone to be with. This is not a dysfunction or fault of the stone butch, it’s just an incompatibility. Believe me, if I could just will myself into not being stone I would have a long time ago, because I realize this makes me undesirable to many femmes and may cause issues in the future. It also makes me enjoy sex less than other butches. But it’s really not a fixable thing for all stone butches.

It also just feels coercive to me. Similar to the rhetoric about how lesbians are just brainwashed and they just need a real man to slowly work at them until they give in and stop being lesbians. If someone doesn’t want to do something sexually, you shouldn’t force it. Period. You shouldn’t use self-pity and ‘boo hoo me I feel lonely and unloved’ to pressure them into giving in to what you want either. If a partner used that on me I’d probably feel like I had no choice but to give in and let them touch me sexually but it’d be completely opposite of what I really wanted. I’d like it, physically, but I’d still feel that sense of discomfort and wrongness. Same thing as a man pressuring a lesbian to sleep with him in my eyes.

That all being said, I think people have different reasons for being stone, so if someone is stone due to past sexual trauma or abuse then they can absolutely become un-stone with therapy and love and trust. Some stone butches may be mildly stone. But many stone people, like me, have had perfectly healthy sex lives and are still stone. I’m assuming your reaction to this will be pity, like ‘oh look another poor brainwashed butch who doesn’t realize that they aren’t stone but actually just have sexual dysfunction,’ but it’s really not necessary. Assuming that you, a femme with no real understanding of what it’s like to be stone, know more about being stone than actual stone people do, is honestly pretty offensive.

That’s my two cents. Kyuo

Here is my belated response:

First of all, and most importantly:

NOTHING…and I repeat, NOTHING…in that post (nor ANYWHERE else on this blog, for that matter) even remotely suggested that anyone should sexually coerce anyone else…FOR ANY REASON, EVER!

But, since that point was apparently unclear to our wannabe commenter, allow me to spell it out more clearly, for the record:

If, at any point, anyone ever says “no”, seems hesitant, seems uncomfortable, and/or otherwise indicates through ANY verbal or nonverbal means that she is uncomfortable with any part of sexual activity…STOP!

To our wannabe commenter: It seems like you really need to go back and actually read the post, because if SEXUAL COERCION is what you came away with, you obviously missed the proverbial boat.

Furthermore, nothing in my post implied that I or any other Femmes are, or ever should be, self-pitying, whiny, or otherwise manipulative in any way. If our wannabe commenter thinks that is how Femmes behave, she clearly is thinking of Straightbians who are pretending to be “femme“.

And the fact that our wannabe commenter could read my post and even remotely THINK that it meant that I was implying that Femmes should “use self-pity and boo hoo me I feel lonely and unloved to pressure” Butches into sex shows a complete and utter lack of reading comprehension and cognitive reasoning skills.

This wannabe commenter is clearly knee-jerking and projecting, rather than reading and actually comprehending.

Moving on: A one-sided sexual relationship will always be just that and only that: ONE-SIDED.

I won’t go into great detail on that point, since I already addressed that in the original post, but bottom line:

If your partner is perfectly, 100% satisfied with being a pillow-princess long-term, YOU ARE DEALING WITH A STRAIGHTBIAN

Furthermore, yes, I agree that a Lesbian always has the right to leave her partner if she is unsatisfied with the relationship for any reason, but our wannabe commenter’s assertion that “If femmes are not sexually satisfied by stone butches, then they should find butches who aren’t stone to be with” is just an overly simplistic cop-out which doesn’t address the true root of the issue, which is:

YES, STONE BUTCH IS A SEXUAL DYSFUNCTION. Being Stone Butch is not simply a “preference”.  A Stone Butch becomes acutely dysphoric at the very thought of having a reciprocal sexual relationship with a loving partner.

The fact that our wannabe commenter incorrectly purports that some people might “become Stone Butch” due to sexual trauma/abuse shows that she doesn’t even understand what Stone Butch really is.

Granted, yes, sexual abuse and trauma can indeed create many issues, including an aversion to sexual contact. But NOBODY “becomes a Stone Butch” due to sexual abuse and trauma. Aversion to sex due to sexual abuse/trauma is a completely different issue, and for a completely different reason, than being Stone Butch. Theoretically, the 2 issues could indeed coexist and interact to create an even bigger issue, but they are NOT the same thing. At all.

Being Stone Butch is created by dysphoria. And shame. Not trauma. Not shyness. Not abuse. Not simply “having a preference”. Etc.

And people aren’t “mildly Stone” ~ Stone means STONE; you either are, or you are not. Of course, general sexual dysfunction does exist on a continuum, but that is not the same thing.

My final point before I let this topic go for now and let our wannabe commenter get back to stewing in her own juices:

To be a Stone Butch, you actually have to be a BUTCH. There are a plethora of screwed-up Straightbian alleged “butches” out there who claim to be “stone” as a mask for their own trauma/abuse/issues.

Based on the whiny, snarky, put-upon, petulant tone of our wannabe commenter, I strongly suspect that she is NOT a real Butch, nor even a Lesbian at all, but, rather, a Straightbian who is play-actinglesbian“/”butch“.

A real Butch wouldn’t “give in” to anything, including sex, if she didn’t want to.

A real Butch would know what it actually means to be Stone Butch.

A real Butch would know that a real Femme does, in fact, have a comprehension of what Stone Butch means. (We may not experience it ourselves personally, but we do recognize it and we also have every right to speak about it. Furthermore, all Lesbians have a certain amount of dysphoria anyway).

A real Butch wouldn’t (deliberately) “misinterpret” my post to assume I was suggesting coercion or manipulation.

A real Butch wouldn’t passive-aggressively throw around pseudo-“feminist” terms like “paternalistic” to express herself, nor would it even occur to a real Butch that what a Lesbian wrote could possibly be “paternalistic”. I guess our wannabe commenter thinks I wrote “in the manner of a father”. Well, I don’t know about your Dad, but my Dad never wrote about Lesbian sex, LOL. Seriously, though, the fact that our wannabe commenter took so much offense at my words that she had to use the tired old Straight/bian trope of comparing us to MEN essentially proves her heterosexuality. A real Butch would not assume another Lesbian was communicating, in any way, “like a man.”

Finally, a real Butch would communicate directly and assertively…in other words, like the actual LESBIAN she is.

In summary, Straightbians, take your hetsplanations elsewhere.

The Top 10 Things Straightbians Say When Told They Are Not Actual Lesbians

1). “Tell that to my girlfriend!”

2). “Here’s a pic of me kissing a woman!”

3). “But I’ve dated (or had sex with) women!”

4). “It is up to every woman to decide what she wants to ‘identify as’!”

5). “I haven’t been with a man since 1993!”

6). “But I love womyn!”

7). “But I went to Michfest!” (Or a women’s march, or a KD Lang concert, etc.).

8). “As Mary Daly said…” (or Sheila Jeffreys or Kate Millett or Andrea Dworkin or Adrienne Rich or any other famous Straightbian).

9). “Who are you, the Lesbian police?”

10). “I like to _______ (insert offensive hypersexual euphemism, usually referring to oral sex).”

News Flash, Straightbians: BEHAVIOR DOES NOT EQUAL ORIENTATION.

It simply does not matter whether you have “eschewed” men (or “eschewed femininity”); whether you have had sex with 1 woman or 4,257,890 women; whether you have had a relationship with a female for 4 minutes or 40 years: NONE of those things makes you a Lesbian.

Being a Lesbian is NOT about what you wear, how you cut your hair, making a political “choice”, “eschewing” men, or who you f*ck (or even whether you f*ck) — nor any other action you take (or don’t take).

You are either born a Lesbian, or you are not one at all.

The End.

When The Straightbians Go Riding In

I have written before about how being a Lesbian is NOT all about sex.

But it bears repeating, again and again and AGAIN, because straight people make that mistake over and over and OVER…and that includes Straightbians who are pretending to be Lesbians.

In a recent argument, a friend was dismissed by a group of Straightbians and basically told that she needed to “get laid”.

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Others chimed in with their own tales of “riding butches”; here is one such (too-much-information) comment:

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First of all, ewwww.

Secondly, the fact that some females have the appalling nerve to dismiss another female’s thoughts/concerns with the heterosexist, DICKsgusting notion that “getting laid” is somehow a magic bullet simply defies belief. (The “you-need-to-get-laid” concept is exactly the kind of riDICKulous, rude, and unwelcome nonsense that men have said to women for the purpose of dismissing their concerns since the beginning of time).

Thirdly, and most importantly for the purposes of this post, this apparent fetishizing of Butches (and even the Straightbians who pretend to be Butches) is a gross and completely inappropriate sexual objectification. Butches (and even the Straightbians who pretend to be Butches) are not sex toys to be used. How would these Straightbians feel if their lovers were talking publicly about “riding” them like a Harley on a bad piece of road? Would they embrace being objectified, used, and depersonalized in such a crass and uncaring way? Maybe…but I doubt it.

The point is that this response is soooooo common for Straightbians. When confronted, many Straightbians typically respond with some sort of sexual comment. Why? Because they think that having sex with a female means they are a Lesbian. They are wrong.

Once more for the recordBEING A LESBIAN IS NOT ALL ABOUT SEX.

Straightbians: You are NOT proving your “Lesbianism” by bragging about how much sex you’ve had with females. In fact, you’re proving instead that you absolutely have no clue what it actually means to be a Lesbian; and you’re proving that you mistakenly think that such hypersexualized playacting is “Lesbian”.

So, keep on riding, ladies, if that is what floats your boat…but don’t dare think that makes you a Lesbian, because it doesn’t. Not in any way, shape, or form.

Oh, and you may want to consider that nobody really gives a crap about your sex life. If your sex life is great, by all means, please enjoy yourself…but just be aware that most people really don’t want to hear the details about it. Just sayin’.

UnStraightening Lesbian: Removing The Heterosexual Lens: Rita Mae Brown

NOTE: This is the latest in the UnStraightening Lesbian series, originally posted on Dirt’s blog, at this link.

We begin our next set of unSTRAIGHTening Lesbians with the Sneaky Pie Lavender Menace to Lesbians herself Rita Mae Brown. If not familiar with Rita Mae, she was an early element in the Radical Feminist movement after she was more or less removed from Betty Friedan‘s National Organization of Women (NOW). The purported reason Rita Mae was ousted was because she claimed at the time to be a Lesbian. Through this ousting Rita Mae and other Lesbians STRAIGHTBIANS formed the RadFem group Lavender Menace.

But it wasn’t Rita Mae’s libber angst that cloaked her in Lesbianism, it was her first novel Rubyfruit Jungle:

For making the primary point of these posts, (unSTRAIGHTening Lesbian) one really doesn’t have to look beyond Rubyfruit Jungle. The novel rapidly begins with prime character Molly STRAIGHT away focusing on DICK…no, not as in another character…but rather as in a boy the young Molly exploits for profit using his uncircumcised penis in a show and tell: (Ah penis, something every young Dyke wants to see—nope, think again honey!):

From there the novel speeds to Molly having sex with a straight female friend AND then later her straight male cousin Leroy:

A sexual relationship young Molly repeats throughout her cohabitation with cousin Leroy/his family:

Molly struggles to outgrow her illegitimate hick background which both deeply troubles/embarrasses her by heading as soon as she can to the big city; New York. Once there we encounter Molly’s first time at a gay bar with a gay male friend:

It is clear from this moment that it isn’t just the character of Molly who knows nothing about Butch or Femme Lesbians, it is Rita Mae herself who is ignorant for even posing this question at all.

Rita Mae uses her novel to slam other STRAIGHTBIANS dominating the “lesbian” bar scene: damaged Het women who could only see relationships through their own Heterosexual nature: male or female. Mo was no more a Butch than Molly; everything to them, INCLUDING Lesbian, depended solely on what they claimed to be, not what they actually were.

Rita Mae’s snobbish STRAIGHTBIAN Molly places her own warped version of Lesbian (two attractive society approved straight women having sexual relations) above that of fat ugly STRAIGHTBIANS who portray/participate in Heterosexual mimicry.

Moving on:

Rita Mae’s Molly is so disgusted by the purported lesbians she encounters at the bar she jokingly would rather encounter a rapist than entertain the notion of sex with the bar lezzies“! 

Molly apparently thinks herself miles and morals above most, even while she is fucking a small family; mother, father and underage daughter (Thank God they didn’t have any pets!):

Given Molly’s Hetero MALE mimicry (forcing herself on a woman/believing that the woman’s no equals yes) there was no surprise why Betty Friedan could no longer find a place for Rita Mae’s Radical Feminism!

Polina turns the table on Molly and entices her to role play a game Polina and her husband play involving public urinal sex (ewwww):

Molly then moves on to a date with Polina’s husband, Molly figures by fucking Paul she can be closer to Polina, does that sound like any Lesbians you know? No? Me neither!

Molly then moves on to Polina and Paul’s underage (!?!?!?!) daughter:

The dialogue for Alice wanting to have sex with her mother sounds eerily familiar, and Rita Mae’s treatment of incest as “untraumatic” is the ONLY thing “antihuman” here! 

Molly says earlier in the novel of a similar fuckfest:

Rubyfruit Jungle sums up everything that is Lesbian about Rita Mae and Lesbian in the novel: NOTHING!

That didn’t stop Rita Mae from giving advice to young suicidal Gays and Lesbians in her intro to:

 

Homosexuals who aren’t “successful gay people” like Rita Mae, (successful meaning Homosexuals who are Heterosexuals who use Homosexuality for their own perverse uses) dress odd, have “exaggerated mannerisms” and are apparently akin to hookers!

Rita Mae, like Molly from Rubyfruit Jungle, sees Homosexuals and/or STRAIGHTBIANS who are found in gay bars as warped, alcoholics, and obsessed with their Homosexuality (or in the case of STRAIGHTBIANS, obsessed with their claim of Homosexuality).

These people, Rita Mae tells young Gays and Lesbians, are life’s LOSERS!

Rita Mae blatantly states actual Homosexuals can simply cast off our inherent natures and be like her (a pro-incest, polygamous, bisexual)!

Rita Mae Brown, by her own admission (when convenient) cast off calling herself a Lesbian, not just because she wasn’t (and she clearly isn’t!!), but because it was no longer profitable to her now mainstream Heterosexual female audience. Rita Mae hated and still hates labels:

Being a Lesbian isn’t constricting or freeing and it mostly certainly isn’t a sarcophagus burying us alive! Like many STRAIGHTBIANS, Rita Mae donned “Lesbian” like cross dressers don woman, Lesbian for Rita functioned as fetish, financial gain, and fame.

dirt and Mrs. Dirt

Beware of Dirt and Mrs. Dirt Impersonators

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Dirt and I are WARNING any and all readers/friends/family to BEWARE/be leery of bogus emails/Twitter accounts/Facebook accounts and/or any other Social Media forms impersonating the both of us.

We know at this point FOR CERTAIN that bogus Twitter/Facebook accounts were used to gaslight/attack various women, used to give false information about both of us, including, but not limited to, the obvious lie that we are biologically male; used to drum up drama; used to waste our time; and used to attempt to gain a WARPED pathological link to Mrs. Dirt.

If you or anyone you know has or receives ANY kind of contact that claims to be either of us, you need to VERIFY it is in fact us by emailing me at thedirtfromdirt@yahoo.com or Mrs Dirt at sayebennett@gmail.com. If you do not receive a response from those (and ONLY those) email accounts, whoever you are dealing is NOT us!

dirt and Mrs. Dirt

Here’s The Thing

To save myself, Dirt, and/or other real Lesbians from having the same argument with Straightbians, other straight “feminists“, and various other assorted dillweeds on Twitter over and over and OVER, I wanted to do a general post to address the most common nonsense we encounter.

So, without further ado, here are the definitive answers to the common malarkey we hear from Straightbians, other straight “feminists” and other assorted asshats:

Accusation:

Dirt and/or I and/or other Lesbians are “really male” and/or “really transgender“.

Answer:

Hahahahaha(gaspsforbreath)hahahahahaha!

Seriously, folks: Are you really THAT stupid? (Hint: If you are dumb enough to tweet, retweet, like, and/or believe these lies: Sadly for you, you are officially a few fries short of a Happy Meal).

Both of our real identities have been revealed…long ago, and….drum roll, please….wait for it….wait for it….BOOM!:

We are BOTH Lesbians!

(Duh).

Here’s a helpful hint, Einstein:  Try doing even just a tiny bit of basic research and using just a small smidgen of critical thinking skills, if you have any, to avoid looking like a completely vacuous air-headed dingbat by saying such foolish things in the future. (Or, alternatively: If the asinine shoe fits…go ahead and slip that stiletto right on, “sister“).

Furthermore, accusations that Lesbians are “really men” is a clear indicator that the accuser is a Straightbian. Why? Because it’s clear that she has no clue whatsoever how Lesbians communicate, look, act, or respond. So, keep talking, cupcake, you’re just proving out point with every dimwitted thing you say.

Accusation:

Dirt and I claim that Lesbians are not biologically female.

Answer: 

Sighing loudly. Nope. Learn to read. Learn to comprehend what you read. Learn to think. That is, if you can. Otherwise, shut up and leave the thinking to those who are smart enough to decipher what is actually being said: That Lesbians are different than STRAIGHT females. Geez.

(Double duh).

Accusation:

Dirt and I hate straight women.

Answer: 

Again, no. (Really, what is wrong with some people’s ability to read and to comprehend what they read??). Refer to these posts which explain this misconception here and here.

Accusation:

Dirt and I harass, bully, threaten, dox, stalk, and/or have gotten people fired from their jobs (and other assorted variations of these lies).

Answer:

Not just no, but HELL NO. No to all the above and to any/all other variations of this lie.

Calling a Straightbian a Straightbian is NOT harassment, bullying, etc.; rather, it is falsely called harassment, bullying, etc. because the truth hurts.

Bottom Line:If you find yourself so very threatened by someone else’s assessment of you that you stoop to spreading riDICKulous lies and/or creating DICKsgusting drama to prop up your own clearly-threatened weak ego, it’s a sure sign that YOU are not secure in your own (false) “identity” as a “Lesbian“.

Real Lesbians would simply respond directly. Real Lesbians are not threatened by being called a Straightbian. Why? Because real Lesbians know who we are and we don’t need anyone else’s approval.

So, if you find yourself OVERreacting to the point of making a total ass of yourself, it’s time to consider why what we are saying is so threatening to you. (Spoiler: You are looking more and more and MORE like a STRAIGHTBIAN with every hysterical OVERreaction).

Remember this same principle if you see someone else overreacting and outright lying in a similar manner: “Protesting too much” is an actual thing. And Straightbians doth protest way too much because they have built their entire lives (and, quite often, careers) on the LIE that they are “lesbians“.

Similarly, those who falsely claim that Dirt is “doxxing” transgender individuals are also wrong. Posting what is already posted publicly on the internet is not “doxxing”. Dirt is NOT publishing their real names, addresses, workplaces, and/or any other personal/private information, nor would she.

Again: Learn to THINK, people. Do some basic research of your own to come to a conclusion; my blog and Twitter account are both public, and so are Dirt’s. Whenever someone is just throwing out triggering accusations, without any actual examples/data/proof to back up what she is saying, you really need to consider the fact that there is a reason for the lack of details. And the reason is: It never happened. You are being actively lied to and manipulated, people. Wake up and smell the BS.

Accusation:

Dirt and I block people “because they asked a question or disagreed”.

Answer: 

No. People ask questions and disagree with us ALL THE TIME, yet we don’t block them all. Why? People who are polite and respectful and willing to engage in discussion (even civil disagreement) do NOT get blocked. Well, who gets blocked then? Rude/disrespectful people; lesbophobes; pornified accounts; people who just want to argue incessantly and clearly have no intention of having a discussion; people who lie about us; and those who continue to follow/support outright liars, lesbophobes, and other toxic people.

Accusation:

Dirt and I call everyone who disagrees with us a Straightbian.

Answer:

Yet again: NO. So: Who do we call a Straightbian? Hmmmm….let’s all THINK about it now…yes, even those who are bringing up the rear, brain-power-wise…oh, yeah…right…STRAIGHTBIANS, that’s who!  If we have called you a Straightbian, it’s simply because you exhibit many of the signs of being a Straightbian. If anyone in these posts here and here sound like you…oh yeah, cupcake, guess what? YOU ARE A STRAIGHTBIAN.

Accusation:

Dirt, I, and/or other Lesbians are “ugly”, “homely”, “mannish”, and/or any other insults to our physical appearance.

Answer:

Some particularly mean-spirited individuals will stoop to insulting physical appearance. When this happens, such insults always say much more about the person who is doing the insulting than they do about the person/people being insulted.

If you choose to act in such an immature and toxic fashion, just know that your true, nasty, petty, mean colors show through more clearly with each and every insult you hurl.

People will eventually see you for what you really are. And Karma always sees you too.

Furthermore, insulting someone’s appearance is a sure sign that you do NOT have a coherent argument to offer regarding the actual topic of discussion.

And: For those who are falsely calling themselves “feminist” and/or “gender-critical“, faking copious concern about the transitioning of Lesbians, while clicking the “retweet” or “like” button on a tweet directly insulting the physical appearance of Lesbians: We see you as the hypocritical, fraudulent liars that you are. YOU are the problem.

Dirt and I don’t give a darn whether or not you like what we look like. Dirt and I are happy with ourselves and with each other. If you don’t like the way we (and/or other Lesbians) look, don’t look at us. Problem solved!

Here’s the thing: Reading what we write is completely optional. If you don’t like us, the way we look, who we are, and/or what we write, just go away. Far away. Now. Don’t let the door hit your sorry butt on the way out.

We trust that the REAL Lesbians who need to hear what we are saying will find us and will understand what we are saying…which, by the way, is exactly what Straightbians are afraid of.

Straightbians WANT us to shut up, because we are giving away their dirty little secrets.

But we are NOT writing for Straightbians AND we will never shut up.

Real Lesbians deserve the truth. And our message is for LESBIANS only.

Keep out

Image: Pixabay: AG_Exposed: CC0 Creative Commons

What Straightbians Think “Butch” Means And How They Are Wrong

A very smart friend, Genuine Femme, recently commented on Twitter:

Butch to Straightbians is a term with no meaning beyond fashion choice. And they even get that wrong too!

This quote completely sums up a huge problem with the ongoing bastardization of the meaning of Butch and explains a great deal of the confusion and conflict that Dirt, I, Genuine Femme, and other (REAL) Lesbians experience in trying to reclaim the actual meanings of words from the lying, twisted, claw-like talons of Straightbians.

Here is what Straightbians incorrectly think Butch is:

ANY female (who may be a Lesbian, but quite often is another Straightbian) who does any/all of the following:

  • Cuts her hair short or shaves her head or has a mohawk or has dreadlocks, etc.;
  • Has a copious amount of tattoos and/or piercings and/or body modifications and/or rainbow-colored hair;
  • Wears so-called “men’s” clothes (or even so-called “women’s” clothes that are stereotypically perceived to be “non-feminine”), including, but not limited to, any or all of the following: suits, ties, bow ties, ball caps, trousers, suspenders, Doc Martens, jeans, boxers, vests, cargo pants, leather, etc.;
  • Simply (but incorrectly) calls herself “Butch”;
  • Calls herself “gender nonconforming”, “gender defiant”, “gender deviant”, “gender diverse”, “genderqueer”, “non-binary”, or any other such offensive terms;
  • Incorrectly playacts “Butch” using her own uninformed preconceived notions of “Butch” via her version “acting like a man” (because “male-wannabe” is what she stupidly THINKS “Butch” is!), including, but not limited to, any or all of the following: being hypersexual, typically in a “top”/”Daddy” (ewww!!) sort of way; being domineering or overbearing; swaggering embarrassingly around like Barney Fife on steroids; packing; being sexist (treating her Straightbian like “the little woman” in the relationship); etc.;
  • Eschews femininity” (which is a ridiculous and untrue radfem notion; remember that REAL Lesbians do NOT “eschew feminity”).

The above misconceptions explain how Straightbians (many of whom often incorrectly call themselves “Femmes“) state (with the totally misplaced confidence of the completely ignorant) that “Butches strip” and other such nonsensical, inane claims.

Once again for the numerous seemingly slow-witted Straightbians/others who are perpetuating and/or believing such ridiculousness: 

Many people ask why we continue to insist on calling out the numerous shocking inaccuracies about Butch, Femme, and Lesbian in general. We continue because words have meaning, and the truth matters.

If you find yourself feeling threatened by what we are saying, it’s time to stop and ask yourself why.

Perhaps you already know deep-down, underneath all of your rationalizations and layers of denial, that the life you are living is ONE BIG FAT LIE.

It’s time to face YOUR own demons instead of making demons out of us!

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