Tag Archive | Lesbian Lies

The Top 10 Things Straightbians Say When Told They Are Not Actual Lesbians

1). “Tell that to my girlfriend!”

2). “Here’s a pic of me kissing a woman!”

3). “But I’ve dated (or had sex with) women!”

4). “It is up to every woman to decide what she wants to ‘identify as’!”

5). “I haven’t been with a man since 1993!”

6). “But I love womyn!”

7). “But I went to Michfest!” (Or a women’s march, or a KD Lang concert, etc.).

8). “As Mary Daly said…” (or Sheila Jeffreys or Kate Millett or Andrea Dworkin or Adrienne Rich or any other famous Straightbian).

9). “Who are you, the Lesbian police?”

10). “I like to _______ (insert offensive hypersexual euphemism, usually referring to oral sex).”

News Flash, Straightbians: BEHAVIOR DOES NOT EQUAL ORIENTATION.

It simply does not matter whether you have “eschewed” men (or “eschewed femininity”); whether you have had sex with 1 woman or 4,257,890 women; whether you have had a relationship with a female for 4 minutes or 40 years: NONE of those things makes you a Lesbian.

Being a Lesbian is NOT about what you wear, how you cut your hair, making a political “choice”, “eschewing” men, or who you f*ck (or even whether you f*ck) — nor any other action you take (or don’t take).

You are either born a Lesbian, or you are not one at all.

The End.

UnStraightening Lesbian: Removing the Heterosexual Lens: Sheila Jeffreys

Note: This post is part of our ongoing UnSTRAIGHTening Lesbian series, and was originally posted here.

Next up in our unSTRAIGHTening Lesbian series is Radical (“political lesbian — AKA Het) Feminist Sheila Jeffreys.

Jeffreys was born/raised in England and later moved to Australia, taking up a professorship at the University of Melbourne. Jeffreys is known as much for her criticism of lesbians as she is for her criticism of Transgender ideology. Her friend and RadFem compatriot Julie Bindel said this of Sheila:

 Jeffreys’ introduction to feminist campaigning began in the early 70s when she joined a socialist feminist group (she was later thrown out for suggesting men were to blame for the oppression of women). Sandra McNeill, who met Jeffreys in that group, remembers her as “the Andrea Dworkin of the UK. She was, and still is, seen as an extreme, man-hating feminist”. Dworkin, as it happens, lived with a man, whom in 1998 she married.

Not Jeffreys. She became a lesbian in 1973 because she felt it contradictory to give “her most precious energies to a man” when she was thoroughly committed to a women’s revolution. Six years later, she went further and wrote, with others, a pamphlet entitled Love Your Enemy? The Debate Between Heterosexual Feminism And Political Lesbianism. In it, feminists who sleep with men are described as collaborating with the enemy. It caused a huge ruction in the women’s movement, and is still cited as an example of early separatists “going way too far”.

We do think,” it said, “that all feminists can and should be lesbians. Our definition of a political lesbian is a woman-identified woman who does not fuck men. It does not mean compulsory sexual activity with women.” Although many of the more radical feminists agreed, most went wild at being told they were “counter-revolutionary”.

These few quotes alone, are more than enough proof of Jeffreys’ innate Heterosexuality and her calculating Hetero=privileged co-option of Lesbian for her own selfish purposes, we really do not need to write anything further.

BUT due to Jeffreys making a long career out of Hetsplaining Lesbian and dressing/strapping actual Lesbians in STRAIGHTBIAN frocks, we are!

In the Spinster and her Enemies Jeffreys looks back on early male sexologists like Havelock Ellis to devise how/why early suffragettes/feminists were scared away from girl on girl relationships:

Interestingly, while Ellis fails to truly define real Lesbians (biological), he comes closer to understanding us than Jeffreys EVER has or will. That point aside, Jeffreys like Adrienne Rich or Radfems in general, Homophobically fear/ed being seen as real Lesbians (ugly/mannish per Het norms). Jeffreys/Radfems fears were/are so great as to stop them in their tracks (according to Jeffreys) from “BECOMING”lesbians!

Jeffreys continues, but extends her Homophobia by dragging in Radclyffe Hall’s novel, The Well of Loneliness. Jeffreys cannot see past her own Heterosexuality to realize that Radclyffe and her novel’s characters were also Heterosexuals PLAYING at their Hetero notions of Lesbian.

Jeffreys obsessive hatred of Butch/Femme shows itself through this passage. Jeffreys ignorantly attributes Hall’s warped STRAIGHTBIAN ideas about Butch/Femme as proof of her own STRAIGHTBIAN notions of Butch/Femme.

In a nutshell, the STRAIGHT leading the STRAIGHT about STRAIGHTS who are pretending to be Lesbian.

In Unpacking Queer Politics Jeffreys begins:

Like many RadFems, Jeffreys hatred of men isn’t limited to Het males, she equally despises Gay men and blames her Heterocentric ideas of “lesbian” masculinity/masculine worship for early “lesbian” transitions. One only has to read where Jeffreys got her information from (Halberstam/Devor etc.) to understand where Jeffreys fucked up. If you are going to write about Lesbians in ANY capacity, in order to obtain accurate information, you just might want to get your information from actual Lesbians and not STRAIGHTBIANS. (Duh).

Jeffreys continues her Homophobia by citing more Radfem garbage from one of the BIGGEST Homophobes and known STRAIGHTBIANS-Adrienne Rich!

Again, Jeffreys criticises lesbian role playing by citing the likes of mentally fucked up Heterosexual Women (STRAIGHTBIANS) like Joan Nestle/Sally Munt/Leslea Newman/Judith Halberstam. 

Jeffreys again uses faulty information from warped STRAIGHTBIANS. It is well known at this point that the inappropriately named “lesbian sex wars” were fought by hypersexual STRAIGHTBIANS on one side and prudish STRAIGHTBIANS (like Jeffreys) on the other… actual Lesbians were NEVER involved!

MOST interesting, though, is that Jeffreys (“lesbians who criticized“) admits to being turned on by what SHE calls dominance/submission/sado-society! Jeffreys merely convinces herself that she is better than the Califia’s and Nestle’s because she fights her NATURAL Hetero/sexual urges!

Sheila, honey, Lesbians don’t have urges to be fucked by men regardless of who’s on top!

Jeffreys then cites pro-pedophile STRAIGHTBIAN faghags Gayle Rubin and Pat Califia 
to cast more aspersions on Gay men leading poor little “lesbians” astray! Sorry, Sheila, you would have to be either a complete fucking idiot or STRAIGHT (or both) to know neither of these warped freaks are Lesbians.

Well, Sheila, you got one thing right in your Julia Penelope description(STRAIGHTBIAN), she is from the US!

From Lesbian Heresy Jeffreys continues her warped Homophobic diatribe of STRAIGHTBIAN ROLE PLAYING, or, as she INCORRECTLY deems it: “butch/femme“:

Yes, Sheila, Lesbians actually agree these STRAIGHTBIANS are sick motherfuckers, but what they are most certainly NOT are fucking LESBIANS!

Sheila just about gets it (close, but no cigar…pun intended): Yes, sexual abuse often informs warped Hetero/sexual role playing…among STRAIGHTBIANS!

Sheila fails over and over and OVER to understand the obvious fact that these women are not Lesbians, but, rather, they are Heterosexuals who are role-playing “lesbian“… JUST LIKE SHEILA HERSELF!

Sheila, Carolyn Stack? Really??? Straight therapist giving advice to STRAIGHTBIAN couples about STRAIGHTBIAN sex/lack thereof has fuck all to do with Lesbians again, how???

Sheila, Sheila, Sheila. You’re striking out yet again!  Margaret Nicholls and Joann Loulan might be therapists, they are certainly not Lesbians!

Despite having much to say about Homosexuals, Jeffreys fails miserably to write with any accuracy about Lesbians, Gay men,  or Homosexuality period and the same is true of much her ideas on Transgenders:

Statement From Dirt: “Sorry, Shelia, as a Butch Lesbian who has spent more than a decade documenting female transition (Who is Transitioning), I have yet to find a single Butch Lesbian who has transitioned. While I’m sure there might be some, they are VERY. VERY rare. You, Sheila, again confuse sexually abused STRAIGHTBIANS playing at being male who transition, NOT Lesbian and most certainly NOT Butch!”

“Identified” being the operative word, Sheila! They weren’t “proud lesbians, Sheila….they weren’t Lesbians at all, hence “identifying as gay men” early in their transition. You might want to familiarize yourself with cross-sex hormones and their effects on Hetero/Homo brains.

Holly Devor, Sheila, is a Heterosexual female who transitioned…NOT a Lesbian and therefore NOT a reliable source for Lesbian accuracy!

 

Because Sheila has no actual knowledge of real Lesbians, she likes to recycle STRAIGHTBIANS who she incorrectly believes are fucked-up sicko Lesbians in effort to give heft to her hatred of STRAIGHTBIANS who are not like her/other Radfems.

Sheila fails to make the simple connection that “CHOOSING to be a lesbian” and “CHOOSING to be a femme” amount to the very same thing:  TOTAL BULLSHIT!

Sheila, clearly Sally here isn’t even a fucking Dyke, yet here you are wholeheartedly taking her word as “Butch Lesbian” truth. Why? Because she states what YOU want to hear! That’s not very good investigative writing ,Sheila, and it’s certainly not “academic research”: any fucking 3rd grader could do a better job!

Heather Findlay isn’t a Lesbian Sheila, therefore, she cannot be a Femme Lesbian! Those responsible for male and female transitions are Homophobes (like you, Sheila) and ALL the Radical Feminists who backed pedophiles like John Money simply because you IGNORANTLY dreamed/hoped gender was/is a mere construct, despite clear evidence to the contrary! Instead of tackling sex-based inequalities head on, Radical Feminists passively blamed gender for all Heterosexual female ills! The plague of Identity Politics jump-roped through the gender loophole left by Radical Feminists.

Sheila Jeffreys, being a STRAIGHTBIAN herself, willfully took at face value the word of all STRAIGHTBIANS, without a care as to how these Lesbian inaccuracies affected actual Lesbians, then or now. Sheila and her ilk succeeded in helping de-sex “gender“, which has led us to where we are today.

Bottom line: It is neither radical nor feminist to hijack “lesbian” for your own selfish gain.

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt 

When The Straightbians Go Riding In

I have written before about how being a Lesbian is NOT all about sex.

But it bears repeating, again and again and AGAIN, because straight people make that mistake over and over and OVER…and that includes Straightbians who are pretending to be Lesbians.

In a recent argument, a friend was dismissed by a group of Straightbians and basically told that she needed to “get laid”.

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Others chimed in with their own tales of “riding butches”; here is one such (too-much-information) comment:

Image 1

First of all, ewwww.

Secondly, the fact that some females have the appalling nerve to dismiss another female’s thoughts/concerns with the heterosexist, DICKsgusting notion that “getting laid” is somehow a magic bullet simply defies belief. (The “you-need-to-get-laid” concept is exactly the kind of riDICKulous, rude, and unwelcome nonsense that men have said to women for the purpose of dismissing their concerns since the beginning of time).

Thirdly, and most importantly for the purposes of this post, this apparent fetishizing of Butches (and even the Straightbians who pretend to be Butches) is a gross and completely inappropriate sexual objectification. Butches (and even the Straightbians who pretend to be Butches) are not sex toys to be used. How would these Straightbians feel if their lovers were talking publicly about “riding” them like a Harley on a bad piece of road? Would they embrace being objectified, used, and depersonalized in such a crass and uncaring way? Maybe…but I doubt it.

The point is that this response is soooooo common for Straightbians. When confronted, many Straightbians typically respond with some sort of sexual comment. Why? Because they think that having sex with a female means they are a Lesbian. They are wrong.

Once more for the recordBEING A LESBIAN IS NOT ALL ABOUT SEX.

Straightbians: You are NOT proving your “Lesbianism” by bragging about how much sex you’ve had with females. In fact, you’re proving instead that you absolutely have no clue what it actually means to be a Lesbian; and you’re proving that you mistakenly think that such hypersexualized playacting is “Lesbian”.

So, keep on riding, ladies, if that is what floats your boat…but don’t dare think that makes you a Lesbian, because it doesn’t. Not in any way, shape, or form.

Oh, and you may want to consider that nobody really gives a crap about your sex life. If your sex life is great, by all means, please enjoy yourself…but just be aware that most people really don’t want to hear the details about it. Just sayin’.

UnStraightening Lesbian: Removing the Heterosexual Lens: Adrienne Rich

Next up in our unSTRAIGHTening Lesbian series is poet/theorist/Radical Feminist Adrienne Rich.

Adrienne Rich, or ACR as Sylvia Plath referred to her, made her way to “lesbian” (STRAIGHTBIANISM!) via the same route most Radical Feminists did/do; unexpressed voluminous anger for her own poor life choices she readily blamed the men in her life for (father/husband) and collective man (patriarchy). Rich said of her marriage:

I married in part because I knew no better way to disconnect from my first family,” she says. “I wanted what I saw as a full woman’s life, whatever was possible.

Rich marries hoping to escape familial confines/duties only to find herself unhappily in the same trapped place, only worse, with children.

I wanted, then, more than anything, the one thing of which there was never enough: time to think, time to write.”

Rich’s dishonestly in the marriage lead to both her and her husband having affairs:

Shortly thereafter, her husband Alfred Conrad committed suicide:
Apparently she was such a hotty ALL the men in NY wanted a piece of her pie! Umm ~ sure, okay!

After cheating on her husband with both men and women, once her hubby was out of the way/dead, Rich embarked through Radical Feminism, on a mission to remove Lesbian from those gross, vile,  dykey/mannish/wannabe men/act like men/think like men Lezzies SHE incorrectly perceived actual Lesbians to be/look like, and to give Lesbian an air of upper middle class academic redressing, making Lesbian more appealing/palatable and acceptable to greater Feminist groups/women.

Like Radical Feminists in Rich’s day and RadFems now, Rich desperately needed the IDEA of Lesbian to both vent her anger and (mistakenly) use as a means to remove herself from (in her mind) Heterosexuality/Heterocentric confines rendering her helpless/afraid/weak and ineffectual. As a Heterosexual woman, Rich could only access Lesbian through lying:

 

We will show shortly in Rich’s piece de resistance that Rich (unlike some STRAIGHTBIANS), selfishly planned and executed her lies.

It is precisely codswallop like this that fully seals ANY question (were you to have any) of Rich’s obvious Heterosexuality. Radical Feminists like Rich tell themselves collective man enforces Heterosexual female grooming/dress etc (when actually it is Heterosexual females who both desire/enforce beauty standards) yet cannot explain why Lesbians en masse do not fall prey to the same heterocentric grooming standards.

 

Lesbians have always existed and have never required validation for our existence. Women, particularly damaged Radical Feminists like Rich spend their lives/careers seeking some sort of warped validation and blame men for not GIVING it to them!

 

 

Rich often talks out of both sides of her mouth; on one side she claims her “erotic” feelings for women have been stifled via Patriarchy and on the other side she claims sexual feelings between women are not necessary for qualifying them as Lesbian! Rich ignores, or doesn’t bother to notice, that most Lesbians do not have the luxury of a closet, most Dykes are visibly Lesbian. Lesbian visibility shines for some Lesbians physically and mentally and other Lesbians less physically and more mentally. Either way, Dyke thought processes alone peg us for Lesbian, as any Lesbian can attest to since the advent of the internet. Even online with a genderless name and no image of ourselves, we are often assumed/believed by Hets (usually Het women) to be men!

In Diversity and Variability in Women’s Sexual Identities STRAIGHTBIAN Carla Rappaport Golden said of Rich’s lesbian

 

 


Lesbian was problematic for Rich precisely because of the ugly depraved dykey sexually perverted masculinist ideas held by Hetero society/Heterosexuals like Adrienne Rich herself. But Adrienne Rich desperately needed Lesbian because it encompassed (to her) anti maleness, what she didn’t need was the alienating baggage attached to Lesbian. So Rich tried to simultaneously redefine Lesbian for Heterosexual Feminist inclusion while distancing the debauchery attached to Lesbian, thus Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence was born.

Adrienne Rich begins Compulsory Heterosexuality with a Straightbianesque quote from Doris Lessing‘s The Golden Notebook:

 

This quote not only sets the stage for the rest of Rich’s essay, it IS the stage Rich starred for the rest of her life! A Heterosexual privileged life whereby Rich and Radical Feminists like her, chanted to themselves and in Radical Feminist groups like an incantation; I’m a lesbian! And don’t think for a minute Lesbians missed the degrading walls Doris Lessing sandwiched Lesbian in this passage! This was Rich’s fear, without a man, her only choices were bitternessspinsterhood or Lesbian. Rich CHOSE lesbian, not actual Lesbianism, but a Hetsplained version she could somewhat live with. Like Lessing’s Anna, Rich was too weak to forge a relationship with a man where SHE was willing to or capable of, living her new found consciousness.

Moving on:

Rich believed that Lesbian scholarship was forced into hiding by a patriarchal driven Compulsory Heterosexuality that even mid range Feminism enforced. Rich failed to understand that Lesbian erudition wasn’t (isn’t) quashed or silenced by patriarchy, it wasn’t (isn’t) understood by Heterosexuals, particularly Het women! Rich feared losing academic clout by choosing Lesbian and through RadFem-speak tried to make HER brand of lesbian acceptable to greater Feminism.

 

Rich assumes Homophobia alone inhabited Feminists (Het women) from trying to coral Het women toward a political lesbianism via feminist theory and why lesbian art/literature etc remained rare. Rich failed to see how her own warped man-hating RadFem agenda was responsible for biological Lesbian invisibility in the arts and elsewhere than was/is Homophobia, because she blinded herself of our existence.

Further in the essay Rich says:

 

Rich brings up Lesbians being closeted in the workplace but the exact experiences she uses to make her points are the experiences Heterosexual women (like her), claiming to be Lesbians (like her) had with the luxury of being closeted! Most Dykes NEVER have that luxury and most Dykes even if they did would NOT put some fucking job over their entire lives! The only Homophobe here is Adrienne Rich!

 

 

Because Rich herself (a Heterosexual woman) didn’t feel or experience blatant Homophobia (why would she?), she ignorantly theorized compulsory heterosexuality was to blame for Feminist silence about Lesbians/Lesbian issues, including the reason Feminists wouldn’t platform Lesbianism as a possible choice against patriarchy/men! Rich claims non Radical Feminists were in collusion WITH patriarchy! Non-Radical Feminists, according to Rich, helped provide patriarchy with pussy, pay, and passion!

 

 

Rich found the term Lesbian limiting because Lesbian didn’t include STRAIGHT women like her and because Rich didn’t like the psycho-logical definitions defining Lesbian or the societal connotations coloring Lesbian by Het society. By expanding Lesbian to include all female relationship types, not simply “genital” as Rich crudely puts it, Lesbian wouldn’t be so foul an idea, for women or society. Rich fails to acknowledge the LIMITS, limits based on HER HETEROSEXUALLY driven assumptions about biological Lesbians, that real Lesbianism isn’t defined by pussy licking or KFC pussy (AKA finger licking good). Lesbian was crude, vulgar, plebeian — NOT because it actually was/is — BUT because it was based on Adrienne Rich’s own sick, fucked up, homophobic, warped fucking views of Lesbian!

 

Being a Lesbian has fuck all to do with taboos or rejecting Heterosexuality, it has ONLY to do with being born physiologically Lesbian! Lesbians aren’t saying no to patriarchy, patriarchy doesn’t factor (collectively) anywhere into a Lesbian’s life. Lesbian past, present and future grew/grow/will grow up without any/little knowledge of Lesbians; fortunately abilities innate to our survival ensure we find each other and are capable of survival even if we don’t. The ONLY destroyers of Lesbian records or histories are Radical Feminists like Adrienne Rich! What has been recorded  as “lesbian” experiences/narratives etc, are instead the experiences/narratives etc of STRAIGHTBIANS like ACR!

Adrienne Rich, in typical Heterosexual fashion, was a little SHIT TON obsessed with genitals/sex.

 

In other words, Adrienne Rich and Radical Feminism itself are NOT LESBIAN! Bizarrely in this strange (sick) passage Rich twice brings up/equates a child/mother being turned on during infant feeding. I refuse to think past Rich’s statement here, because to do so is just toooooo fucking SICK — and it most certainly is NOT Lesbian!
Adrienne Rich said of women’s diminutiveness art/history in When We Dead Awaken:

Precisely because of STRAIGHTBIANS like Adrienne Rich, Lesbians/Lesbian youth flounder and flail trying to find ourselves in the world. Thanks to the likes of Rich and her warped RadFem ilk, most of the signs and symbols labeled Lesbian are false. They point us right back to female Heterosexual mindset and body that paints us into a corner of dysphoria, reinforcing Lesbian confusion and resulting in a so-called lesbian community made up of Heterosexual women…where Lesbians STILL do not exist.

Adrienne Rich discovered Lesbian in the same way Christopher Columbus discovered America: she ignored those already living here, and those she couldn’t ignore she kindly smothered in blankets of smallpox.

dirt and Mrs Dirt

Sex and the STRAIGHTBIAN (Part 2): The Passion is Perversion

Note: Another joint post with Dirt, originally posted here.

The flip side of the frigid/anti-sex/passion is political/eschewing sex and femininity STRAIGHTBIANS are the STRAIGHTBIANS who embrace sex with both arms and every orifice, LOVE and sex sex sex, try anything once (or twice!) sex Het women.

In years past these STRAIGHTBIANS were on the opposite side of Radical Feminism; their feminist liberation was to be found, not in squatting over a mirror looking at their vaginas, BUT in using their vaginas to find power! They convinced themselves that through sadomasochism, where they could explore/control sexual proclivities (some of which were) derived from child sexual abuse, they could find the power robbed of them as girls/women.

Depending on if sexual abuse was suffered as a child, how long it occurred, how it was dealt with or ignored and natural temperament, determined each STRAIGHTBIAN’s role in BDSM. For some STRAIGHTBIANS that role may be as the submissive (many will co-opt (High/Femme/Bottom/Baby/Girl to imply that) for others that role will be as the dominant (many will co-opt Top/Butch/Daddy to imply that), and still others will play at a Daddy/boi/boy sex-play. A number of STRAIGHTBIANS who gravitate toward the dominant roles have/will also transition. This STRAIGHTBIAN type’s pathology on cross sex hormones will often increase their warped sexual appetites as well as their sadism during sex scenes. This STRAIGHTBIAN type, despite the sheer fear and powerlessness they felt as sexually abused girls, first identify with and later become (through transition/hormones) the all powerful abuser of their (mostly) willing equally disturbed partners.  Some of these dominant STRAIGHTBIANS will even lobby for less strict laws around child/adult sexual relations aka Pedophilia. Aside, many dominant STRAIGHTBIANS will have had at some point/s identified as gay men, most will have been/are Fag Hags, including having sex with Gay men.

Some of the more mentally damaged STRAIGHTBIANS in this group will even act out (repeatedly) sexual abuses done to them as a child; one partner will role-play being a baby girl while the other partner pretends to be the Daddy who then sexually abuses his/her baby girl. Both parties derive their own warped feelings of power during these bizarre scenes. Power, by being the person holding the safe word which can stop everything on utterance, and the other feeling power/full by taking power over the other and having the power to bring the other to sexual heights/climax/es; exchanges that both parties tightly wrap in a yarn of believed ultimate/superior intimacy and trust. But the intimacy/trust are nothing more than a mutually shared delusion that can quickly unravel at the slightest fray.

As neither party is actually Lesbian, these particular STRAIGHTBIANS fetishize “lesbian sex” (sex between females) through their own Heterosexuality/Het norms. 

Many STRAIGHTBIANS in this group for varying reasons are hypersexual, and sex will figure some way in nearly all aspects of their life. They will join or forge self created careers in some aspect of the sex industry. They may be sex educators/experts, strippers, prostitutes, sex facilitators/consultants, burlesque performers; they may make lesbian porn videos/photo shoots etc. Most of these STRAIGHTBIAN types will have a sexual pathology, but even those where this is absent, because none are Lesbians, ALL have a pathological need/drive to sexualize themselves with a female partner/s. Lesbian to ALL STRAIGHTBIANS must involve another female, but particularly for this type.

Without sex or even the idea of sex between two females, these STRAIGHTBIANS disappear. Therefore, fetishizing lesbian is not only a product of their pathology, it is at the root of their self. Like Transgender self-hood, these STRAIGHTBIANS rely on constant external validation/reinforcement, even if that is nothing more than personal photos of themselves/their female partner kissing/touching/sexing etc. Many will exhibit public displays of affection bordering on the sexual, they don’t simply WANT the public to look, they NEED the public to look. They NEED lesbian approval, even from strangers, be that at a restaurant while having dinner or on Social Media.

Unlike actual Lesbians (who do not require external validation to tell us who we are), lesbian approval for this STRAIGHTBIAN type isn’t approval for being a Lesbian. These STRAIGHTBIANS require approval for behaviour they FEEL to be Lesbian (via their Heterosexuality), feelings they need to strengthen their foothold of THEIR thin grip on Lesbian IDENTITY. This tenuous grip being so fragile, even if they have 1 naysayer among a 1000, they may mentally/emotionally implode! Even demanding validation and/or vilifying naysayers through conferences/sex wars/Social Media battles/books/articles published/tickets sold etc that they ARE Lesbian! As an aside, many of these types will have romantic/sexual photos of themselves around their home with a former/current partner; a daily reminder that these girl-on-girl visuals MAKE them lesbian

Past Straightbians in this group fancied themselves on being sexual outlaws/sexual renegades, turning sexual mores on their heads; queering lesbian  through stealing Gay male cultural norms/tropes to wet their warped sexual perversions in one hand and lining their pockets through theorizing lesbian as the ultimate subversive act in the other. This Past STRAIGHTBIAN group believed/preached that through the bondage of ropes and chains (het) women could FREE themselves from the shackles of Patriarchy.

Today’s version of this STRAIGHTBIAN type merely mimics the straight male’s wet dreams lining the shelves of porn hubs everywhere. This STRAIGHTBIAN version preens, prances, pouts and performs lesbian per Patriarchy’s fantasies; their lips never speak of Liberation, only licking pussy. This group doesn’t even have the mental wherewithal to look beyond what they see everyday: HeteroSEXuality. Somewhere between IQ and the internet, today’s STRAIGHTBIANS lazily believe that by performing Het male lesbian cliches for global attention/identity reinforcements that they are subverting social norms! These STRAIGHTBIANS spend less time trying to smash the Patriarchy and more time bending over for it! They tell themselves their sexual displays are personal, but their copious “look at us, look at us, look at us!” cinches their narcissism that is ALWAYS looking for a looker.

But both types, past and present, can only occupy lesbian through male tropes (gay or straight). Meaning: even the ways in which they suspend their Heterosexuality, IS Heterosexual!

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt

UnStraightening Lesbian: Removing the Heterosexual Lens: The Next Series

Note: This post was originally published here.

The next set of Het women we are unSTRAIGHTening for this series are as follows: Rita Mae Brown, Adrienne Cecile Rich, Sheila Jeffreys, and Julie Bindel.

Rita Mae Brown is most known for Rubyfruit Jungle, her warped fictional (?) account of consensual familial incest (with male cousin) PRO-INCEST character who “turned lesbian” — but (God forbid) NOT-one-of-those-Lesbians-who-look-like-men-and-are-ugly-kind-of–Lesbians. Rita Mae briefly dallied with the Lesbian separatist group The Furies, who Homophobically preached “Lesbianism is not a matter of sexual preference, but rather one of political choice” (No. One prefers coffee to tea: Homosexual BIOLOGY isn’t a choice!). From there, Rita Mae was involved with Lavender Menace-a man hating “radical lesbian” offshoot of NOW. Rita “just me” Mae later dumped Lesbian when it was no longer edgy/profitable and today writes applesauce mysteries lapped up by bored Het women.

Adrienne Rich is best known for her poetry and her later Radical Feminist diatribes, one of which spawned the over used phase by Radical Feminists-Compulsive Heterosexuality. Privileged academic Adrienne (I was stuck fast in an emotion common to women of our time, that can turn them bitter, or Lesbian, or solitary) Rich turned Lesbian some years after her Husband of 17 years, producing three children, committed suicide. But thanks to warped feminist sexism, Robin Morgan didn’t view Rich as the Monster she did Ted Hughes. Hmmm…funny that!

Sheila Jeffreys, like all Hets in this group and to quote Julie Bindel “abandon Heterosexuality and her feminine appearance” (hmm still looks Het/feminine) when she found Radical Feminism. Besides teaching, Jeffreys wrote/spoke extensively on other STRAIGHTBIANS whose differently warped sexual proclivities didn’t pass Jeffreys frigid muster, mimicking Het dynamics too closely for her tastes. Jeffreys is equally known for speaking/writing against Transgenderism. Not because she is against the medical damage necessary for transition, but again because Transgender mimics Hetero roles too closely, damaging women/women as a class.

Julie Bindel is a RadFem journalist who focuses on Het women’s issues; violence against women, prostitution, pornography, human trafficking etc. She briefly came out swinging against Transgender/transition but when confronted by trans males, quickly went back to her Het women interests. She is a huge proponent/promoter of many STRAIGHTBIANS featured in this series and STRAIGHTBIANS in general. She routinely states with full Het privilege and Homophobia intact that Lesbianism is a choice and biology means next to nothing, unless speaking about male violence! THAT’S different!

We will begin working on this next group ASAP, probably in the order above; and any (polite) input is welcome, as usual.

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt

Assorted Straightbian Subtypes: Part 2: So Many ASSes

As a follow up to our previous post entitled Assorted Straightbian Subtypes: AKA the Seven ASSes, we wanted to follow up with 2 other subtypes of Straightbian, both of whom may likely have significant overlap with some of the previously described 7 subtypes.

Additionally, although this should go without saying, obviously it needs to be said anyway, based on comments we have received:

Of course, some just-plain-straight females (not Straightbian posers claiming to be Lesbian, but straight-up heterosexual females) may share characteristics that fall into one or more of these archetypes. That makes sense, since both just-plain-straight females and Straightbians share a VERY important characteristic: THEY ARE STRAIGHT, but always remember: we are never going to be talking about straight women unless they are impacting upon Lesbians in some way

So, before you comment, “I know a straight female who likes Tarot”, please stop and remember that unless she is a STRAIGHTBIAN, we are not talking about her, nor denying her existence. She is simply irrelevant to this topic.

So, without further ado, here are 2 follow-up ASSes to add to our previous Assorted STRAIGHTBIAN Subtypes:

8). White Picket Fence and 2 Children In The Suburbs Straightbian: The White Picket Fence (WPF) Straightbian just wants to fit in, to be “normal” (in the eyes of society), yet still retaining her Straightbian status due to her own pathology.

This Straightbian will say that there is absolutely no difference between herself and her soccer-mom neighbor, except who she is in a relationship with (and, actually, she is right about that…because they are BOTH STRAIGHT!).

“We’re all the same”, White Picket Fence loves to say, “Why label people?” Because “Love is Love”, after all! “We’re all human, why create all of these unnecessary divisions?”, WPF often thinks, shaking her perky head.

The White Picket Fence Straightbian loves this cup and carries it everywhere because, gosh darn it, we are all just HUMAN, now aren’t we?:

The White Picket Fence Straightbian cares very much about appearances and fitting in with society’s expectations.

She is in a relationship with another female (either another White Picket Fence Straightbian or a Lesbian who can pass as Straight) but, by golly, she and her partner are going to FIT IN OR BUST:

House in the suburbs? Check!
Golden Retriever? Check!
Volvo? Check!
Casually rumpled, but subtly elegant, decor? Check!
White wedding? Check!
2 adorable children? Check!
Picture-perfect holidays? Check!
Roth IRA and 401K? Check and Check!

On social media, she will call herself something like “just2mommies2kidsand1goldenretriever”. She will follow only others exactly like herself, “eschewing” any real Lesbians who point out that Lesbians are actually different than straight women. So darn divisive, those Lezzies are!

LOVE IS LOVE, after all…

White Picket Fence may be married to a female…

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

8a). Sunshine and Roses:

Relatedly, a sub-sub (-sub…?) type of the White Picket Fence is the Sunshine and Roses Straightbian, who is an emotionally-fragile straight female who uses relentless, sugary-sweet positivity to completely escape/avoid dealing with her own issues that have led her to mistakenly believe she is a “Lesbian“.

Sunshine and Roses was perhaps physically, emotionally, and/or sexually abused as a child; or at least likely had a very chaotic, disturbing home life while growing up. She likely has had very bad previous experiences/relationships with past boyfriend(s)/husband(s).

Sunshine and Roses is desperate to escape not only those bad situations, but also all of the heavy emotional baggage that she carries from those situations.

In fact, she has stuffed that baggage down so far that she actually mistakenly thinks she has left it behind.

On social media and in real life, Sunshine and Roses “eschews” all negativity and strives to keep herself forever insulated from real-world unpleasantness. Her social media posts are likely predominantly inspirational memes and/or cutesy GIFs and/or dreamy “Peace, Love, and Harmony” sentiments, and/or heartbroken laments about “Why is there so much strife in the world?”.

Sunshine and Roses may not even attempt to embark upon a relationship, preferring to call herself a “Lesbian” (or possibly “queer” or “LGBTQQIAAP+“) without the pesky reality of dealing with another fallible and not-always-positive human being. She lives in a fantasy world, perhaps fantasizing incessantly about an idealized version of a particular singer, actor, book, movie, TV show, author, etc. She may read or even write happy-ending fan fiction to erase the unpleasant reality of how an actual storyline turned out.

Sunshine and Roses is likely to unfollow or block anyone on social media who she perceives to be “negative” or “crass” or “unpleasant” in any way. She surrounds herself with beautiful objects and frantically attempts to create harmony in a world sadly lacking it.

Sunshine and Roses is not a bad person. In fact, she is typically a good person who has been dealt a very bad hand in life.

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

8b). The Urban Version of the White Picket Fence (WPF) STRAIGHTBIAN:

Like her suburban counterpart, the Urban WPF Straightbian just wants to fit in, but with a very different crowd.

The Urban WPF doesn’t want the actual white picket fence of her suburban counterpart’s dream…no, of course not, because that would be just too common for Urban.

No, the Urban Straightbian “eschews” the suburban lifestyle, wanting something more “edgy”, more “in”:

Renovated loft in an old cigar factory? Check!
Assorted popular Artists/Actors/Authors/Directors/Designers/Etc. as friends? Check!
Being the cool moms at the most exclusive private school available? Check!
Invitations to the most exclusive events in town? Check!
Season tickets to the local alternative theater? Check!
An amusingly pretentious Chilean chardonnay for the farm-to-table dinner party? Check!
Offspring named Jayden, Ayden, Cayden, or Brayden? Check!
Transgender child? Check!
Roth IRA and 401K? Check and Check!

The Urban Straightbian is popular with the liberal crowd, fitting right in with her liberal friends’ collective desire for diversity…

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

9). Mean-Spirited Unbalanced Faux-Feminist Yahoo (Muffy):

Muffy often overlaps with many/all of our previous 7 Assorted Straightbian Subtypes. In fact, Muffy has likely at least been all of the subtypes at one point or another.

Muffy loves and uses social media with a vengeance. And “vengeance” is the key word here, because Muffy is one angry, hateful harpy. In fact, in her social media bios, she proudly claims to be a/an “angry, hairy Lesbian“, “man-hater”, “virago”, “shrew”, “Patriarchy-smasher”, “radical Lesbian“, “angry feminist“, “Lesbian separatist”, “woman-identified-woman” (or womyn or womon or wimmin or wimms…or any other ridiculous misspelling) and/or some similar descriptor.

On the surface, Muffy may seem to be the polar opposite of Sunshine and Roses, but these two subtypes share common denominators; the difference between them is exposed in how their underlying issues are expressed in opposite ways. Instead of internalizing/repressing her anger/angst (as Sunshine and Roses does), Muffy externalizes her rage, spewing her hatred outward in an incessant vomitous torrent, reminiscent of the pea-soup scene from The Exorcist.

Muffy doesn’t just wait for trouble to find her on social media; oh, no, not Muffy. She goes looking for trouble and when she doesn’t find it, she creates trouble.

Like a trigger-happy bounty hunter, Muffy is always on the hunt for people she finds offensive, and when she inevitably finds someone who dares to say something she disagrees with, she tries to blow that person away with her high-caliber nastiness.

In her quest to destroy her perceived enemy/enemies, Muffy completely “eschews” all logic, listening skills, and literacy, opting instead for sheer unadulterated, completely illogical, meanness.

No insult is too low nor off-limits for Muffy. Muffy hits below the belt and is proud of it.

Despite claiming to be a “feminist“, Muffy regularly insults other females’ looks, clothes, hair, makeup (or lack thereof), weight, age, marriage, choices, profession, ideas, words, work, etc., etc., etc. She calls Lesbians “men” without a single thought, nor care, in her venomous, vitriolic, vapid head about the potential effects of her words.

Muffy LOVES using inane memes/GIFs in the heat of battle, apparently not realizing that her memes/GIFs are as lame, illogical, nonsensical, and ineffectual as she herself is. She will then throw at least a few red herrings into the discussion, saying untrue things that make no sense whatsoever, and have nothing to do with the conversation at hand, but are intentionally designed to try to make the opponent(s) look bad and to distract from the fact that Muffy has no coherent argument. (Examples include falsely claiming that the perceived opponent(s) is/are: racist, sexist, misogynist, rape-apologist, perverted, pedophilic, etc.).

Finally, despite having deliberately sought out and started/continued the argument herself, and, despite having said absolutely false, defamatory, and despicable things to her opponent, Muffy then pretends to be the victim in the situation, falsely claiming that the other person is “bullying”, or even “stalking”, her. And Muffy is not above nor below using a fake suicide attempt to garner sympathy and support, thereby completely nullifying any further arguments.

She will then enlist other Muffys to attack, berate, harass, block, defame, exclude, and/or report her perceived opponent(s), while basking in the shallow, brittle “sisterhood” and feel-good-for-a-minute attention afforded from being The Perpetual Victim Of The Patriarchy.

Rinse and repeat, ad nauseum.

Muffy is one nasty, bitter piece of work.

BUT she is not a Lesbian.

In conclusion, while some Straightbians are clearly more dangerous to Lesbians in the individual sense, even Straightbians who partner with each other are dangerous to Lesbian as an idea. Straightbians are collectively responsible for taking the real flesh-and-blood Lesbian and turning us into nothing more than an idea which they, warped Het Women, flesh out through their own individual pathologies. Pathologies which the Psychiatric community has documented, diagnosed, and demonized for centuries. Pathologies ignorantly accepted by Het society as truth. Heterosexual Pathologies widely and readily, though incorrectly, attributed to actual Lesbians, haunting our relationships with family, friends, and even strangers, all with long held preconceived, wrong IDEAS forged by Straightbians!

But Lesbian isn’t an idea, we are flesh, blood, and bone.

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt