Tag Archive | Lesbian Lies

Lesbians Are Not Mimicking Heterosexuals, Nor Do We Want To. (Duh!)

When hetsplaining Lesbian, one frequent mistake that heterosexual people make is assuming that Lesbian relationships are mimicry of straight relationships, along with the incorrect assumption that Lesbians seek to emulate straight people.

One particularly odious and completely ridiculous trope is that Butch Lesbians have “eschewed femininity” and that they are “trying to be men“, and that Femme Lesbians are playing the “straight woman” in our relationships.

No. Just NO.

It’s way past time for all of the straight people who think/say such things to remove their head from their own egocentric asses.

It is even more bizarre and distressing when such utter nonsense emerges from alleged “feminist allies“.

 Let’s take a look at just a couple of the multiple lesbophobic comments from these faux “feminist allies” about Dirt, and I hope that these examples will expose what these faux “feminist allies” REALLY think about Lesbians and our relationships ~ underneath their FAKE, chipper “But I totally support Lesbians!” rhetoric: 

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Please recall that Harpy is the very same individual who came up with this gem to explain our Lesbian relationship: 

Harpy

Let’s examine exactly what these self-proclaimed “feminist allies” TRULY think/feel about Lesbians underneath their bullshit “support“:

  • They are condescending, rude, hateful, and/or vicious toward us.
  • They clearly don’t understand Lesbians nor our relationships.
  • They don’t TRY to understand Lesbians nor our relationships.
  • They see Lesbians as simplistic heterosexual mimickers/wannabes.
  • They see Lesbian relationships as imitations of straight relationships.
  • They see Butch Lesbians as intentionally/willfully “non-conforming to gender norms”.
  • They think Butch Lesbians are imitating men and that they want to be men.
  • They think Femme Lesbians are imitating straight women/relationships.
  • They think Femme Lesbians are stupid, shallow, vacuous, vain, and dependent. (Which is quite an interesting perception, since they think we are imitating THEM. Think about it.).
  • They think that heterosexual relationships are higher status than Lesbian relationships. (For instance, in other tweets, they talked about our relationship with “marriage” and “wife” in quotation marks!).
  • They think that Dirt’s parents would/should be upset with the fact she is Butch, which shows their own underlying shocking lesbophobia.
  • They think that we are Lesbians because we are damaged in some way (“Would be intriguing to hear about her parents”).
  • They think Lesbians are simply play-acting; that our entire lives are a flimsy choice to mysteriously try to emulate heterosexuality….which doesn’t even make any sense, but apparently logic is optional for these cretins.
  • They see Lesbians only through their own narrow heterocentric lens…which is to say: they don’t really see US at all, nor do they care to.

I could go on and on, but I think that is the general summation of the falsehoods that these false allies TRULY believe about us when you scratch underneath the shiny surface of their “help“.

Once again for the slow learners: Lesbians are NOT “mimicking straight relationships” nor are we “trying to be men” (nor any other obnoxious variation of these lies). WE ARE LESBIANS. Lesbian lives/relationships are IN NO WAY related to these outlandish claims. 

These same individuals will tweet all day about how men are allegedly trying to coerce Lesbians into sleeping with them etc. etc. etc. ~ and some complete fools therefore mistakenly think that means they support Lesbians:

Rya

My message to these hetsplaining hypocritical harpies (and their ilk) and their fawning fan-boy is:

Fuck off.  

Attention Lesbians: These people are not allies to Lesbians, and they are not our friends. Furthermore, Lesbians don’t want, nor need, their “help“. These people are not only NOT helping Lesbians, but they are a HUGE part of the problem themselves by continuing to believe and to spew hateful lies and ignorant misconceptions about Lesbians.

With every hateful and/or ignorant tweet, these people are showing their true lesbophobic colors.

So: Keep it up, harpies & sycophants, because I WANT Lesbians to see the truth, and these folks are proving what Dirt and I are saying with every venomous word.  

The Chicago Dyke March Badly Needs A New Name 

Some idiots calling themselves “Chicago Dyke March” on Twitter proved that they are most certainly NOT Lesbians/Dykes with many tweets, but this one tweet in particular stood out among the general ignorance:


First of all, if you are calling yourself a “dyke march” you are, in fact, talking about (and for) Lesbians…um, duh.

Secondly, this SHOULD go without saying, but since basic facts obviously escape the notice of these buffoons, allow me to spell it out:

LESBIANS DO NOT WANT DICK.

AND:

LESBIANS DO NOT HAVE DICKS.

Perhaps it would be beneficial for these bozos to invest in a dictionary, or, at the very least, learn how to Google definitions, because their cluelessness is astonishing.

The VERY-inappropriately-named “Chicago Dyke March” only needs one simple tweak to rename themselves accurately.

In fact, since they obviously struggle with basic comprehension, I have a suggestion for their new name:

Chicago DICK March

You’re welcome.

Lesbian Tools For Identifying a Straightbian

“Note: This is a joint post with Dirt, originally posted here.

In recent posts, Mrs. Dirt and I have written individually and written together, slowly chipping away at centuries of Lesbian inaccuracies, revealing a dual picture of the oblique perception of Lesbian and the Women who have forged that skewed perception by co-opting Lesbian.

By injecting biology back into the paint, each post is a brush stroke laying bare the vast differences in Lesbian behaviour vs the behaviour of Girls/Women. These differences are KEY to understanding ourselves, our unique behaviour and our place (or lack thereof) in Hetero society and perhaps more importantly possessing the tools to recognize the overwhelming number of (STRAIGHTBIAN) Women hetsplaining their distorted approximations of Lesbian that has gone to make many STRAIGHTBIANS wealthy, fortified many more academic careers and generated an impotent political movement (Radical Feminism), carving a treacherous landscape that threatens the safety of every Lesbian alive least we mention every Lesbian dead!

The more tools we have in our Lesbian arsenal, the better equipped we are to fight the egregious lies STRAIGHTBIANS/RadFems have lead society and worse Lesbians ourselves into believing. Below are some core behaviours that should raise a Lesbian red flag or two:

  • Regardless of age, declaring they’re a Lesbian is constant, excessive and over the top. Lesbian youth obviously are allowed a honeymoon period when they first come out, but once acquainted with other Lesbians/Lesbian community that “shout-it-from-the-rooftop-I’m-a-Dyke” fades. If said Lesbian is 40-something, been out for a while, and still acting like they just came out-BEWARE!
  • If heavily involved in abortion rights/rape issues/prostitution/domestic violence and other primarily Heterosexually-focused topics/groups/activism (especially if to the exclusion of caring about solely Lesbian issues)-BEWARE!
  • If arguing with men/MRAs/men calling themselves women etc. factors heavily in their life/day to day-BEWARE!
  • If sexually abused between the ages of 0 to 18, particularly 0-12, straight females have either an aversion to males or a pathological need to be sexual with men. For sexually abused straight females who developed an aversion to males, the hypersexual pathology often still persists. This may present itself as a seemingly intense sexual newness that can be mistaken for normal Lesbian relationship newness/passion, but instead of a genuine Lesbian passion, the hypersexuality is due to pathology rather than legitimate Lesbian passion. Lesbian passion surely involves sex, but the intimacy developed through sex and passion quickly matures into a Lesbian relationship. Hypersexuality as exhibited by STRAIGHTBIANS/sexually abused straight females never develops beyond the sex stage, and parallels the internal age they were frozen at when the abuse occurred. That isn’t to say that a STRAIGHTBIAN and a Lesbian may not form a long term involvement, but that involvement never develops into a fully mature intimate relationship. Lesbians usually find themselves confused in these involvements, often playing out the role (over and over) of a rescuer/saviour/helpmate and if the involvement lasts beyond a year the once hypersexual (straight) partner’s interest in sex wanes (Lesbian Bed Death). BEWARE!
  • Repeated claims of victimhood, usually where none exists. Repeated attempts at creating seemingly useless/needless drama. BEWARE!
  • Pathologically (paranoia) thinks everyone is either an enemy and/or makes enemies out of everyone at some point. BEWARE!
  • Can seem younger than their age (child-like/teeny bopperish)-again stuck in time (like the needle on a scratched record)-usually at the age they were sexually abused. BEWARE!
  • Adamant in the belief that any woman can be a Lesbian. REALLY BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Exhibits stalkerish behaviour toward love interests, exes, perceived enemies. BEWARE!
  • Will perseverate on real or imagined slights (Borderline Personality issues) and stop at nothing to get even (time or money no object). BEWARE!
  • While as Lesbian youths we all play around with our look (hair/clothes etc), but where you see this persisting past the age of 30 (excessive piercings/tattoos/shaved heads/body modifications/mohawks/pink/blue/purple/funky hair colours/clothing usually worn by preteens/teens etc). BEWARE!
  • These Women are often either directly or indirectly involved in versions or variations of the kabbalah, shamanism, witchery, tarot reading, runes, crystals, moon howling, drum circles, art projects involving their period blood, crones, midwifery, ceremonial blessings/unions, high priestery, celestial shitola, and/or many other special snowflakeries. STRAIGHTBIANS will have deeply studied or tried any or all in vain efforts to fix their early traumas/themselves. BEWARE!

While Lesbians also suffer from sexual abuse, due to differences in brain function, Lesbians obviously behave differently than Girls/Women who were abused. And because sexual abuse is usually perpetrated by a male, natural attraction isnt problematic for Lesbians in the way it is complicated for sexually abused Women. While we will elaborate these differences and complications in a later post, our point here being is that the behaviours listed above are not displayed in any enormity by sexually abused Lesbians or any Lesbian for that matter, they are however seen in high levels in STRAIGHTBIANS.

So to recap, we are not saying your new girlfriend’s interest in the kabbalah or astrology should send you running for the hills, but we are saying if you can tic multiple checks beside our list above-BEWARE!

Until Lesbian biology takes its rightful place, both Mrs Dirt and I individually and together will continue to give Lesbians the tools needed to see themselves as NORMAL, to see imposters in our dating pools and Lesbian authorities, and to gain confidence and accuracy in our gaydar.

dirt

03/01/2017: Edited to emphasize that one (or even a couple) of the attributes above, alone, are not cause for concern, but if MULTIPLE items from the checklist are present, then the likelihood of a Straightbian increases. So, for example, if a person has tattoos and likes tarot, it’s likely not a problem. But if she ALSO constantly talks/posts about predominantly heterosexual concerns, if she believes/argues “any woman can be a Lesbian”, if she engages with males all the time, if she engages in drama-drama-drama, (etc.), then it is worth starting to observe closely.

03/02/2017: Edited (again) to add that our point is that if a woman focuses much attention/energy on predominantly heterosexual concerns (such as abortion), and especially if she does so TO THE EXCLUSION OF CARING ABOUT LESBIAN CONCERNS, then that is a warning sign of a Straightbian in combination with other factors. We are not saying those straight issues aren’t important, just that they are NOT PRIMARILY LESBIAN.

Unstraightening Lesbian: The Sex Edition!

Approximately a week or two ago, the Kindle Edition of the The Whole Lesbian Sex Book (2nd edition) by Felice Newman was on sale ($1.99), so I thought “What the heck?” and bought it.

I already suspected this book was yet another buttload of crap (pun semi-intended) because of Dirt’s and my earlier research into many (so-called) lesbian experts (who are neither lesbian nor expert) Susie Bright and Shar Rednour, among others.

After reading it, I sadly came to the conclusion that IMHO, the book is indeed total crap.

Actually, to say this book is “total crap” is unnecessarily complimentary. This book would have to dig its way out of the sewer and make its way up through the pipes and into the toilet before it could even be considered crap.

Pour quoi“? you may be asking.

The answer is: So many reasons, so little time.

Since the horseshit is shoveled abundantly in this book, I will have to focus on the absolute worst of the worst for this post.

Let’s start with this little gem from Chapter 1:

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Okay, remember: this book is supposed to be about and for LESBIANS. The word “LESBIAN” is even in the freaking title.

First of all, most Lesbians aren’t promiscuous enough to have sex with random people (and groups of people!) as the first paragraph implies.

Secondly, and more importantly, the major flaw of the above quote comes with the second paragraph, which erroneously and slanderously implies that Lesbians have sex with men.

News Flash: Lesbians do NOT have sex with men.

Lesbians want to be with other LESBIANS. Period. End of story. It’s not rocket science, folks.

This ridiculous theme of (alleged) “lesbians” wanting sex with men, fantasizing about sex with men, having sex with men, etc. etc. etc. is repeated ad nauseum throughout this book, so I won’t belabor each and every example of this blatant falsehood. Bottom line: NO, WE DON’T.

Moving on from this damaging and untrue theme (although the author unwisely didn’t), my next major gripe occurs in Chapter 2:

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The author seems to assume that Lesbians either do, or should, have a fetish. The author turns Lesbian love-making into a completely unrecognizable hypersexualized kinky fetishistic fuckfest.

Here are just a few of the bizarre and unrecognizable alleged “lesbian sex” (NOT!) examples mentioned by the author in Chapter 2: blood play, breast whipping, caning, enemas, golden showers, knife play, paying for sex, and triple penetration.

The author moves on to supposed Lesbian fantasies, and right off the bat, we’re back to my original complaint:  “Lesbians can and do get off to fantasies about sex with men“, the author claims.

Um…no. No, no, no, no, no.

Lesbians: I have said it before and I will say it again now: If your lover wants you to pretend to be a male in bed, or fantasizes about having a male join you in bed, or in any way whatsoever brings the concept of “male” into your bedroom, you are dealing with a Straightbian.

Lesbians are females who are sexually/romantically oriented solely to females. Regardless of what lesbians are doing in bed, there will never be a male involved, even in fantasy.

Another purported frequent “Lesbian” fantasy, according to our increasingly offensive author, is “Age Play” (also known as “incest fantasies” ~ ugh!): “Daddy/girl, Daddy/boy, Mommy/girl, Mommy/boy are popular forms“, says the author.

Hmmmm…let me think…how can I express my feelings about this topic in the nicest way possible?

Okay, here goes: That is some seriously sick, twisted, perverted, disgusting, and deviant shit.

(And that is the nice version of my thoughts on the matter).

Children should NEVER be a part of any sexual encounter, even in someone’s sicko fantasies.

My hope for those who are into “age/incest play”: Please get some serious therapy, because you truly need it if you think that pretending your lover is your “Daddy” (or that you are the “Daddy” having sex with a child, or any other variation of this repulsive “game”) is a hot or a harmless fantasy.

Furthermore, these fantasies are NOT LESBIAN.

Lesbians desire other ADULT Lesbians.

Lesbians don’t want to be your freaking “Daddy” or your “little boy” (or any other variation of this disgusting fantasy).

Some Lesbians may play along with this horrid game in order to please their fucked-up STRAIGHT girlfriend, or, in some cases, perhaps because they have been abused themselves and are acting out (See **Important Note, below).

In general, though, “age/incest play” is NOT a part of Lesbian sex.

**Important Note: Lesbians, like anyone else, may be victims of child sexual abuse, but to be very clear, being Lesbian is NOT caused by, nor in any way related to, sexual abuse.

Instead of being truly “Lesbian“, this “age/incest” fantasy/activity is perpetrated by mixed-up Straightbians; most likely in a misguided and futile attempt to heal childhood wounds. Rather than addressing these wounds in a healthy manner, instead, they play out these wounds in an endless loop of sordid sex, pain, and confusion…never making progress, never achieving true intimacy.

(I normally would feel sorry for such confused individuals, but these people are doing it, and publicly gloating about it, in the name of “Lesbian“…and that is unforgivable).

I wish I could say that “age/incest play” is the worst lie the author gives as an alleged “Lesbian” sexual fantasy, but alas, shockingly, it’s not!

What could possibly be worse? Molestation (sex with minors!!), necrophilia (sex with dead people!!), and bestiality (sex with animals!!) are also all listed as supposed “Lesbian” fantasies.

They’re not.

Let me say it again: THESE ARE NOT LESBIAN FANTASIES/ACTIVITIES. Please stop perverting Lesbians with these outright lies, Felice Newman.

And readers, please, please, please get professional help if you actually do fantasize about any of that.

Moving on to the author’s “helpful” (NOT!) tips on purported Lesbian” porn:

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Hmmmm, I’m sensing a theme, aren’t you? Newman seems to want to pound (hahaha!) it into everyone’s heads the absolute lie that “Lesbians want men!” We don’t.

Again, it should go without saying, but apparently some people are too stupid to think it through, so it bears repeating:

Lesbians do NOT want men, so please take that drivel and shove it really far, far, far up where the sun don’t shine, Newman (et al.).

I almost made it through Chapter 3 without wanting to bang my head on a wall, because it’s a relatively straightforward chapter on female anatomy/health.

However, sadly, I did not make it all the way through this chapter either, because Newman offers this lovely tip about “female anatomy”:

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Sighing loudly. I hope I won’t have to explain to anyone what is wrong with that snippet. (Spoiler alert: BIOLOGY MATTERS).

Let’s ignore the next few chapters. While I certainly didn’t agree with all of what was written in them, they didn’t make the list of the worst of the worst.

Moving on to Chapter 14, let’s examine this quote:

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First problem: Lesbian is NOT about “gender”, and that statement includes Butch/Femme Lesbians. To explain why would require its own post, but for the purposes of this post,  suffice it to say that Butch/Femme Lesbians are NOT playacting/performing “gender roles”. We are simply being ourselves. Remember: LESBIAN IS ITS OWN NORMAL!

Second problem: Butch sexuality is NOT in any way male sexuality. Please read Dirt’s post on this very topic, where she directly addresses yet more nonsense by this very same author.

The depicted image in the above quote of a Butch swaggering around, Barney-Fife-style, with her “thumbs hooked in belt loops“, trying to draw attention to the “lump in her jeans” is not only devastatingly incorrect, it’s downright insulting to real Butches.

Similarly, the description of an “aggressively erotic” hyper-feminine Femme who is “unconditionally interested in her own sex” (whatever that means) is a depiction of a Straightbian…NOT a real Femme. This cartoonish image is both untrue and damaging to real Femmes.

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More Butch/Femme bullshit ensues. This entire paragraph is FALSE.

Butch/Femme is NOT an “identity” to be “adopted“, it is NOT a “sexual dynamic“, and it is NOT a vague, nebulous concept that varies with the wind.

We most certainly do NOTcome from all genders and sexual orientations“!

Butches and Femmes are LESBIANS. Simple.

As I said above, Butch/Femme is NOT about “playing with gender signifiers“; we aren’t playing dress-up, for God’s sake!  We are born this way.

Also, the traditional/historic/correct usage of the terms Butch and Femme is in relation to the Butch/Femme dynamic. Therefore, there is no such thing as “Butch-on-Butch” or “Femme-on-Femme“.

Some may think this is quibbling about language, but for a group that is constantly misunderstood and misrepresented, correct language matters deeply, and it is both erasing and insulting to see our terms used improperly.

The next chapters deal with various aspects of BDSM. While I don’t feel as harshly about general BDSM as I do about “age/incest play”, I do object to the assumption that all, or even most, Lesbians are into BDSM, and particularly hardcore BDSM. For the author to take up copious space about hardcore BDSM in a purported “Lesbian sex” book gives the false impression that hardcore BDSM is indeed “the norm” for most Lesbians.

I would have lived the rest of my Lesbian life quite happily ~ in fact, even happier ~ having never known a damn thing about a “golden showers bottom” or a “tit-torture top” or a “scat bottom” or a “rimming top” or “blood play” or “seeks menstruating partners” or “sex in a body bag“, thank you very much.

An extensive section is then devoted to “play parties” (AKA group sex parties). I have known a ton of Lesbians in my life, and never…I repeat, NEVER…have I even heard of any “Lesbian Sex Party”.

Lesbians, at least for the most part, are monogamous, even if some are serial monogamists. Those serial monogamous relationships might only last years (or months) versus a lifetime, but they are one-on-one relationships with the intent on lasting the long haul.

It is NOT Lesbian culture to have orgies. It’s just not. Not even in California, because the famous ones having all the orgies…guess what…aren’t Lesbians!

These are the same twisted sisters we have written about before, and others like them: Straightbians who are acting out their sexual dysfunction and incorrectly calling it Lesbian.

I could go on and on about this book, and many others like it, which not only buy into the absurd notions listed in this post (and many more), but even worse, actively spread and perpetuate this misinformation.

I am speaking out about this because these lies are harmful to real Lesbians in many ways.

Lesbians already struggle with invisibility in a heterosexually-dominated world, and lying about us makes us all the more invisible, because the truth about the REAL us is not being told.

Misinformation like this also is actively dangerous to Lesbians, in several ways. It is literally dangerous, because it reinforces some males’ delusions that Lesbians really do want men, leading to unwanted attention, harassment, stalking, or even physical violence.

It is also dangerous because it makes it seem like Lesbians are perverts, when WE are not the ones who are the perverts. People who (incorrectly!) believe Lesbians are perverts can do much damage to us, in many different ways (laws against us; refusal to hire us; firing us; denial of housing; violence; etc.).

Another, more insiduous, danger is the cumulative effect of constantly reading/hearing falsehoods about ourselves has on Lesbians. It makes us more willing to put up with nonsense in relationships. It isolates us. It removes us from ourselves. It makes us feel even more puzzled, confused, and alone than we already are, because we don’t recognize ourselves in what we read/hear/see.

It can even lead to Lesbians transitioning, because propaganda, like what is in this book and in many other sources, normalizes transition and makes it seem like an appropriate “step” for many Lesbians to take. Already separated from the norms of straight females, reading nonsense like this can make Lesbians’ normal feelings of “otherness” seem like we really “should be male”.

No, Lesbians are fine as we are. And we’d be even better if warped opportunistic charlatans would shut the fuck up.