Tag Archive | Political Lesbianism

UnStraightening Lesbian: Removing the Heterosexual Lens: Julie Bindel

Note: This is the latest in the ongoing Unstraightening Lesbian series, originally posted here.

Last up in this group of unSTRAIGHTening Lesbian is Julie Bindel, a Radical Feminist/journalist. Like Julie’s idol Sheila Jeffreys, we could literally use her quotes without comment and her Heterosexuality would (does) speaks for itself. BUT, not commenting on her Homophobia/Homosexual hatred (which she’s made a near career out of) would be a disservice to  actual Homosexuals/Lesbians.

Since Bindel seems to love to hear herself talk, the quotes used for this post will come directly from interviews and an article written by Bindel alone, as stated above, nothing else was needed:

From an interview Bindel gave in 2015 to Feminist Current; when asked about how she became involved in the women’s movement, Bindel says:

Like many RadFems we have unSTRAIGHTened, Bindel too despised (es) actual Lesbians and feared (being called)/calling herself a Lesbian because she did not want to be perceived the way SHE views actual Lesbians, i.e. too direct/too mannish/too brash/too ugly/too dykey etc. According to her she would not have even called herself a lesbian had she not been called one by a group of boys when she was 17 (or 16 or 15 or…her being “outed” is subject to change depending on her mood?). Being outed or coming out is another interesting RadFem experience. Because Bindel/RadFems are Heterosexual females, it is only through putting themselves in visibly intimate (not necessarily sexual) relations with other Het females or by actually shouting from rooftops that they are lesbian does anyone SEE them as Lesbian. By coming out themselves, these types of STRAIGHTBIANS can at least control how society views them (not with disgust like we are viewed). More on this later….

Another Heterosexual tell in this quote is Bindel saying that once she was outed she had a CHOICE to marry a man/have babies/work a shit job etc (clearly Bindel’s classism and anti-feminism against other women who marry, have children and work a random job to help support the family they love is not a valid position), none of that has EVER been a choice for Lesbians, because Lesbian brain function isnt designed toward males or babies!

The above is from further into the interview and as you can read, Bindel’s HOMOPHOBIA and classism of whom SHE perceives to be bar-dykes are over the fucking top! I suspect the only selfloathing she perceived came from herself. Again Bindel didnt want to be viewed as a Lesbian UNLESS she could be seen as being radical and brave. The Lesbian sperm and Lesbian egg that meet to create a Lesbian life doesnt do so for glory, its simple biology and luck of the draw. Living a lie isnt radical or brave, but this is a lie RadFems deceive themselves with routinely.

The next few quotes comes from another interview Bindel did in 2015 in RadFem Collective:

Lying about your very nature and having copious amounts of sex with copious amounts of womenisnt political and it most certainly is NOT Lesbian! This is reminiscent of American political lesbiansSTRAIGHTBIANS who boasted of the daisy chains of Het female lovers they had all across America! Is it any wonder why Homosexuals are perceived to be so sex obsessed! The Heterosexuals like Bindel calling themselves some form of Homosexual are the sex obsessed! And not that I truly care what the religious right thinks about me/Lesbians, but I/we DO care when what they (voters) think/ the images they hold of us, have been driven by fucked up HETEROSEXUAL women! Like trying to adopt a rescue CAT and my wife and I are asked where we sleep and refused said cat for being sick/immoral, or worse refused the right to rent a home for the same reasons and those reasons exist NOT because of ANYTHING any Lesbian has done BUT because of the warped Heterosexuality of fucked up STRAIGHTBIANS (political lesbians), THAT FUCKING MATTERS!

No person born Homosexual can help it, that isnt an excuse, its pure biology and were it not for idiot Heterosexuals, it would be common sense! Bindel’s ignorance and hatred of Homosexual men is excessive and bleeds into many other interviews/writings. One has to wonder has she ever met a gay man. I read this and a few other things from Bindel to my brother and his husband and they were as perplexed as they were shocked and disgusted by her ignorance and Homophobia. I can only presume Bindel has read too much Califia/Rubin, two other STRAIGHTBIANS Julie; you notice those things when you’re actually a Dyke!

This quote is purely for the shits and giggles, name me ONE Lesbian who in the HISTORY of Lesbians EVER asked another Lesbian if she had orgasms! This is however the nonsense that Het women blather about daily. And RadFems actually ponder why men beat them at nearly everything. Sheesh!

This is the unrealistic dream world many RadFems sadly live in. Heterosexual females will NEVER stop being attracted to men, loving men, putting up with men or putting men first in many cases. Human biology functions today just as it functioned 5000 years ago. Bindel claims to be radical and brave but here she is being as passive as the day is long, passivity being a prime Heterosexual female trait. How are women suppose to use Radical Feminism as a springboard for change when the very women running radical feminist outlets are inactive/passive and impotent? And btw Julie, Lesbians are not passive, we not only say, we do! One more thing if Julie would like to answer, hun why are these campy men ridding around on anything and why a white van as apposed to a red or green or purple one?

From an article Bindel wrote in 2014 in the NewStatesman:

Clearly a RadFem refrain and favourite of Julie’s…

Julie? I’m not sure if this is simply you not bothering to do your homework or a convenient RadFem spin, but the UK GLF; particularly Bob Mellors and Aubrey Walter, took their example from both the US GLF and the US Black Panther Movement. Also the manifesto you site was actually a much later version heavily penned by Het women. Women like you Julie, who were/are ONLY interested in separating biology from Homosexuality so you can be believable/acceptable as something you are not-Lesbian! Readers, this is a prime example of ways in which Radical Feminists have slanted Homosexual history to suit their special needs. Somewhere between Het privilege, pipe dream and abhorrent, abominable, detestable, loathsome, odious, disgusting, repugnant, repulsive, revoltingdiscreditable, disreputable, ignominious, shameful, low, shabby, sordid, squalid, vile, reprehensible, reproachable, cowardly, craven, dastardly, unethical, unprincipledunscrupulous…lies RadFem principles!

Bindel has never met a Butch, let alone danced with one, as this comment clearly indicates. But I’m sure the STRAIGHTBIANS whom Bindel did dance with whom were calling themselves butch wouldnt be too happy to see (when Julie didnt need a dance partner) what Julie really thinks of them: Butch is so last year. This comes from a past Bindel article she wrote poking fun at a butch cookbook by Lee Lynch, Sue Hardesty and Nel Ward, all three obvious and known STRAIGHTBIANS. Bindel being a STRAIGHTBIAN as well, cannot tell a STRAIGHTBIAN from a Dyke as the above comment and the cited article make clear.

Bindel, along with many many many RadFems are notorious for calling out/calling attention to males whenever they coerce women into having sex with them, yet are completely silent about their decades long coercion of women into leaving their husbands/boyfriends and BECOME lesbians STRAIGHTBIANS! Where their is pressure and propaganda there cannot be choice, and RadFems will be the first to tell you choice is pivotal to feminism! Coercion however? Not feminist at all and most certainly NOT radical!

Jill Johnston Julie? Really? Jill Johnston was an admitted nutcase and Het woman, she was as sane as she was Lesbian, in other words she was neither. As mentioned earlier in this post, STRAIGHTBIANS are never flagged for being Lesbians, instead there has to be a concerted effort to get society (particularly men) to see them (RadFems) not wanting men by being seen as Lesbians! RadFems recruiting (coercing) other Het women into joining their faux lesbian groups wasnt enough, they needed men to SEE them eschewing men by wearing pseudo lesbian pins and staging dyke marches. Like all STRAIGHTBIAN sects, men are ALWAYS at the forefront of STRAIGHTBIAN’s fantasies/fairy tales/preoccupations and politics.

Bindel quoting STRAIGHTBIAN Cynthia Nixon takes the cake, it takes it and shits all over it and smears it on the faces of every Gay and Lesbian who has ever existed and will ever exist!

Julie Bindel despises Gays and Lesbians almost as much as she surely detests herself. Bindel complains about biological males using their power/numbers to don/redefine woman (mansplaining) but sees no problem with doing the same with Lesbian (hetsplaining). Julie Bindel, by her own admission, has never been a Lesbian and therefore cannot be a Lesbian now. She is a privileged Heterosexual woman muddying and uglying Lesbian, giving false testimony to who and what Lesbian is and when WE (actual Lesbians) are refused a job, kicked out of our homes or worse, murdered in the streets Julie Bindel strides on by us like our bloodied bodies are messing up her perfect view (that is if she notices us at all)!

Dirt and Mrs. Dirt

True Lesbian-Only Space Is Needed

Amidst all the Twitter clamor to reclaim female-only spaces, what often seems to get lost in the shuffle is the need for Lesbian-only spaces.

The main reason, besides general straight privilege and Lesbian invisibility, for this glaring omission relates to what Dirt and I talk about incessantly: The prevalent, but incorrect, assumption that any female can magically become a Lesbian.

I am going to go out on a limb here and say that Straightbians are typically MUCH more of a threat to Lesbian spaces, lives, and culture than the males who are inspiring all the tweeting.

Of course, the presence of males in dedicated female/Lesbian spaces is indeed problematic also, and I am not minimizing those issues at all. But that is a separate topic which others have covered thoroughly.

However, no Lesbian is ever going to mistake any male for another Lesbian. Lesbians aren’t dating males. Lesbians aren’t falling in love with them. Lesbians aren’t wasting years of our lives with them. Lesbians aren’t sleeping with them. Lesbians aren’t tempted to sleep with them. Lesbians aren’t being coerced to sleep with them. Lesbians aren’t, for the most part, even interacting with them.

Heads up: Any special-snowflake “queer” woman who spouts nonsense such as love/attraction is not about genitalia (blah-blah-blah, yada-yada-yada) is straight-up NOT a Lesbian.

So, unless males are actually overtly attacking us (otherwise known as rape!!), Lesbians generally are not truly being threatened by males.

In contrast, every day and in every way, Straightbians make life complicated, miserable, confusing, and sometimes even downright dangerous for Lesbians. Straightbians are much more of a threat to Lesbians ~ because they are posing as Lesbians, co-opting Lesbian lives/spaces/culture, wasting Lesbian time, breaking Lesbian hearts, and Hetsplaining lesbian to actual Lesbians.

What Lesbians need is space free of Straightbians of every variety: free of the remarkably misnamed “political lesbians“; free of the “bi-curious” and the “queer”; free of the straight women who are burned out on men and seem to think Lesbians are their consolation prizes; free of the narcissistic academicesque radfems with their tired and decidedly un-radical rhetoric.

What Lesbians need is our own safe space, just for us. 

cottage
Adapted Image: Original Image by Saffron Blaze, “Cotswold Vine Cottage Gate”, Creative Commons License

Breaking It Down (Explaining Further Why Being A Lesbian Is NOT A Choice)

Denial

Image: #PicsArt #FreeToEdit

The recent posts regarding the topic of Straightbians which were made by my spouse, partner, and all-around sweetiepie, Dirt, and I have been offensive to many people. I wish that the topic weren’t so divisive because it is not intended to be.

I wanted to clarify our position further by trying to break it down to the most basic examples; in order to try (once again) to convey to the disbelievers the seriousness of situation that lesbians are faced with when unknowingly dating Straightbians.

To summarize a ton of previously posted information, basically, a Straightbian is a heterosexual woman who chooses to try to partner with another woman due to a variety of possible reasons, including, but not limited to: political reasons, being sick of dating men, curiosity, thinking “the grass is greener on the other side”, trauma, mistaking friendship for love, etc.

A lot of people have mistakenly taken our posts to mean that we are being callous, exclusionary, disapproving, hostile, discriminatory, and/or just plain mean.

A lot of people, including lesbians, apparently want to believe that any woman can simply choose at any time to be a lesbian.

But: the simple fact is that all women cannot choose to be lesbians, just as lesbians cannot choose to be straight.

To imply sexual orientation is a choice implies lesbians could choose to be straight if we just wanted to, and this faulty thinking is what leads to harmful, ineffective ideas like conversion therapy.

As I have said before, magical thinking simply does not work. If a woman is straight, she is never going to fall in love with a lesbian like another lesbian would.  It is not possible ~ no matter how much you wish it were so.

The Straightbian may even stay in the relationship for a long time, so her behavior may change during the relationship, but her orientation (her inherent attraction to men, whether or not she acts on it) will never change.

Those people who are so very offended are missing the very basic core message we are trying to send, which is: JUST BE HONEST.

We are not telling straight women that they shouldn’t make the choice to partner with another woman; BUT we are saying that if a straight woman wants to date a lesbian, she needs to be honest and to admit that she is straight up-front ~ rather than falsely claiming to be any sort of “lesbian” (including a “political lesbian”, which is a flat-out misnomer).

Let’s break it down:  It’s all about truth and communication.  

No matter what your orientation is, I hope everyone can agree that all people have the right to know their potential partner’s true orientation/intentions before consenting to a sexual/romantic relationship.

Because when we don’t know the truth, we cannot give true consent.

Here are just a few examples of possible situations that most people would want/need to know about a potential partner before consenting to a relationship/sex:

1). If you are a heterosexual woman, you would probably like to know that the handsome, funny, charming man you are flirting with is really gay.

2).  If you are a straight man, you would probably want to know that the woman you are considering proposing to is a closeted lesbian before putting a ring on it.

3).  If you are a straight woman who just got proposed to by a man, you would probably want to know that he already has 3 wives and believes bigamy is the way of the future.

4).  No matter who you are, you would probably want to know that the person you are considering having a relationship does not believe in monogamy and therefore, does not plan to be exclusive.

5).  No matter who you are, you would probably want to know that the person you are falling in love with is not interested in ever having sex with you.

6).  No matter who you are, you would probably want to know that the person you are considering having sex with has a sexually transmittable disease or other contagious illness.

7).  No matter who you are, you would probably want to know that the person who you are making out with intends for you to be a one-night stand only, and therefore, is not interested in seeing you again…ever.

8). No matter who you are, you would probably want to know if the person you are getting seriously involved with has any secret that could end up hurting you eventually (possible examples include already being married; having a criminal history; having financial problems that would affect you; lying about who they really are; etc.).

9).  No matter who you are, you would probably want to know that the person you are taking home is the sex they say they are (nobody wants a “Crying Game” episode in real life).

10). Finally, last but certainly not least on today’s list is: If you are a lesbian, you should definitely want to know that the woman you are falling for is really straight.

This is not rocket science, folks. It’s basic common sense.

All people (and the term “people” includes lesbians, just in case that fact is not entirely clear to heterocentric individuals) have the right to know who they are becoming involved with sexually and romantically.

It is not offensive for lesbians to demand to know who were are getting involved with.

What is offensive is the fact that the so-called “feminists” who are defending Straightbians care so little about lesbians that they think lesbian needs/lives should take a backseat to the desire of Straightbians to hijack “lesbian” for their own purposes.

06/02/2016: Edited to Add: I meant to also say “Thanks so much” to those who have been willing to discuss this matter in a polite, open way with us. It is too easy to focus on all the people who are attacking, and forget to mention the people who can and do have intelligent discussions.

Magical Thinking (Why Being A Lesbian Is NOT A Choice)

Definition of Lesbian: A Lesbian is a female who is exclusively romantically/sexually oriented to other females.

Seems simple, right?

Well, the definition of Lesbian is actually simple…but many people apparently want to believe otherwise, making it unnecessarily complicated, and then typically becoming quite adamant and irate in their misguided attempts to expand the definition of Lesbian.

This baffling but ongoing argument usually arises when people get peeved regarding the topic of Straightbians ~ otherwise known as straight women who, for a variety of reasons, will choose to partner with Lesbians or other Straightbians. Potential reasons that straight women might make the decision to partner with a female include, but are not limited to: political reasons, curiosity, trauma, simply being sick of dealing with men, mistaking closeness/friendship for love, thinking “the grass is greener on the other side”, rebellion, etc.

Some Lesbians, and many others too, apparently want to believe that any woman can ~ POOF! ~ magically become a Lesbian.

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Magic: #PicsArt #FreeToEdit

While the incorrect idea that any woman can magically “flip to the Lesbian team” may seem to be a harmless fantasy on the surface, the reality is often far from benign.

Straightbians have a history of wreaking havoc on the hearts and lives of real Lesbians in many ways ~ a topic that my spouse, partner, and all-around sweetiepie Dirt and I have written about several times, and which I am reiterating here.

Typically, in the best-case scenario, a Lesbian will partner with a straight woman (who, by definition, literally cannot be truly and genuinely romantically/sexually interested in other women), leading to an unfulfilling, one-sided  relationship. If the Lesbian gets “lucky”, such a unhealthy relationship will end quickly.

In less-fortunate scenarios, many Lesbians have wasted many years of their precious lives.

The truth is that straight women cannot change their sexual orientation, just as Lesbians cannot change our sexual orientation. The much-accepted but ultimately faulty idea that sexual orientation is “fluid” is the very slippery slope that led to idiotic ideas like conversion therapy.

If some Lesbians want to believe that straight women can change their orientation, how do they reconcile this with the simple fact that Lesbians cannot?

How about considering this question, instead of getting defensive and assuming that I am being callous or exclusionary: Don’t we all want our romantic/sexual partners to want us for exactly who we are?

If a woman is not a Lesbian, she can never experience the true desire, nor the depth of connection, with another woman that a Lesbian can feel.

Don’t get me wrong: I am not trying to tell anyone what to do. Whatever floats your proverbial boat is fine by me, as long as it involves consenting adults. Everyone is completely responsible for her own life.  If Lesbians knowingly decide to partner with Straightbians, that is certainly their choice, and when both parties are honest with themselves and each other…more power to them!  (It wouldn’t be my choice, but it is not my life).

Also, I am not saying that it is wrong to be straight, nor am I saying that I believe most Straightbians are intentionally trying to harm Lesbians.  In fact, I believe that most Straightbians are unaware of the inherent problems involved in this scenario, likely primarily due to straight privilege.

I am simply saying that is unhealthy for anyone to be dishonest with herself and/or her partner regarding true orientation.

 I would hope that everyone would agree that informed consent in sexual relationships is imperative; but if a Straightbian is appropriating Lesbianism for her own purposes without disclosing her true heterosexual orientation to her Lesbian lover, then informed consent is not happening. We all deserve to know the motivations and orientation of those we are intimate with.

Bottom line: Just be honest. If you are a straight woman, and are curious about having a relationship with another woman, just say so.  Then your potential lover can make an informed decision on how to proceed.

Magical thinking may be fun for fantasy, but if you hope to solidify a relationship based upon it, don’t be surprised to find the (so-called) “magic” dissipate into the very thin air from which it arose.

**5/30/2016: Edited to Add: Please also see my partner’s companion piece about Straightbian Privilege: Heterocentricity and Dyke Vulnerability.